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Savvy October 2020

Bridesmaids

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Breanna, on July 30, 2020 at 2:01 AM

Posted in Planning 25

Ok so I need someone to set me straight if I am being crazy. I occasionally post in a group chat with my bridemaids to keep them updated especially now since we are a few months away... but none of them respond. I am starting to get upset about it... normally I let these things go because I want a fun and easy going wedding.

I posted about 2 weeks ago about how I need to know everybody’s hair and makeup decisions because I hired people to come do professional hair and makeup ( they still have to pay for their own but I paid for the people to come to the venue) this is a ZERO pressure situation.. they don’t have to get professional anything I trust they will look amazing! ( they all are natural beauties) but only one of my 8 bridemaids/PA commented. I will add they have been asked 4 times within a 12 month period what they want. I have a lot of bridesmaids who change their minds constantly but I put in the post I need an answer.
Then today I gave the official update we are not changing our date, and that they have first dibs on hotel rooms before info goes out to guests... I left the discussion open for them to figure out if they want their own room or to split costs with another bridal party member... NOBODY said anything. As well as info on my bridal shower. Once again a no pressure situation because they don’t have to get a hotel room.
Am I crazy to think that they don’t want to be in the wedding anymore? I’m blaming covid and getting really into my head about it. Has anyone else had this issue? I don’t want to be pushy, and I don’t want to bombard them constantly... but I’m getting extremely worried. They all still talk to me but just not about wedding things. I swear I am not one of those brides who only talks about their wedding... I actual avoid it because the world doesn’t revolve around me, and people don’t want to know every little thing.
I have so far planned everything myself, my fiancé is ZERO help... love him with all my heart but he’s focused on work and I recently lost my job so I mean if the shoe fits? Am I becoming the horrible bridezilla? How do I get these girls to respond? Or do I just move on and they have to deal with not having a hotel room or someone to do their hair and makeup because they never said anything?

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25 Comments

January 2019
MOB So Cal · on July 30, 2020 at 1:20 PM
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I agree with others that you should make time for individual phone calls with each person. I'd guess that you are asking them to decide on things that they just don't know if they want to commit to at least 2 months out in the time of Covid. Honestly, if it were me, I might be assuming there is a good chance the wedding might get cancelled, so the last thing I want to do is commit to paying for a hotel room and/or hair and make-up and possibly losing money. Or, they might just be really busy/stressed out with other stuff in their lives, struggling financially, etc., and just aren't focusing on a wedding 8-12 weeks away (depending on when it is in October). I completely understand that for you, as the BRIDE, this is all stuff you do need an answer on, but it might not be something they can or want to focus on right now. When you call, I might approach it as, "if they aren't ready to commit to a hotel room and/or HMU by ____ date, I totally understand and will just mark them down as a 'no,'." But, I'd start the conversation focusing on how they are doing personally right now. I'm sure they want to be good friends, life is just a mess for a lot of people right now. Good luck!
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Dedicated November 2020
Brittany · on July 30, 2020 at 4:25 PM
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My bridesmaids have been awful at answering as well! Trying not to be a bridezilla because I am easy going but I want them included in ideas and DIY crafts, etc. I find most of them don't answer when I ask something about money, aka hair and makeup. So frustrating! I get where you are coming from.
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Super October 2020
Leslie · on July 31, 2020 at 12:32 AM
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You may feel no pressure but if I was getting updates for it I would feel it. I wouldn’t want to be the first one to say I’m too cheap to pay for hair and make up. I’d probably wait for another bridesmaid to take lead And try and go with flow.
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Super October 2021
Ashley · on July 31, 2020 at 4:28 AM
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Lol Don’t be embarrassed! That makes even more sense to me, though. A lot of people ignore Facebook stuff. The bridesmaids that I mentioned before are also in a Facebook group that the bride created. Whenever she shares stuff, only I and one other bridesmaid respond. The others read it but that’s it. I wouldn’t take it personally if I were you! It’s probably just because it’s Facebook.
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Expert August 2020
Angel · on July 31, 2020 at 1:53 PM
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You are definitely NOT a bridezilla. You're a bride who already has a lot on her plate, and is in need of answers. I seriously CAN NOT believe that so many people's bridesmaids are so unresponsive and difficult. Thank god I only have 2 MOH's and they're extremely helpful with everything, other than being super difficult on finding the right dresses. They need to answer you. They agreed to be in the wedding. I'd call them and be like, hello? I need an answer. It's not like it's hard to reply to a text. So sorry they're making things harder on you!
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