Bridesmaids shoes, who pays?

I'm asking mine to wear nude shoes but whatever style they want. So they pay.

I think if you're going super specific with what they look like, then yes you buy. If you're like hey red shoe, don't care otherwise then it's all on them. I have red heels and I love them!

Yup. If you're requiring a certain shoe, you pay for them. I bought shoes that were required to just be a certain color. My (potential) MOH will be borrowing shoes from me because she doesn't own the color I want them wear, nor will she ever wear them again. I want nude shoes because I feel like most women own a pair.

I've only been in one wedding but the bride told us what kind and color heels to wear and she definitely did not offer to pay for them lol

Here's the thing: the ONLY person who will ever care what kind or color of shoe is on the bridesmaids' feet is the bride. Therefore, the bride pays should she require anything beyond the standard.

To those of you who've been in weddings where a particular shoe was required and not paid for, just because your loved one dropped the ball doesn't make it okay. I was once in a wedding where my bridesmaid dress was $350. I would NEVER even think of requiring a dress that expensive for my girls, even if it was done to me.

I've had to buy ( and dye) all shoes for all weddings I was in. I asked my girls to wear a particular color shoe. I offered to pay for the shoes, all girls declined though.

ETA: I originally wanted my girls to get burnt orange shoes. The girls here talked me out of it. I ended up asking them to get champagne colored shoes. Any shoe, just that color.

I just don't understand these kinds of questions. I don't know about most, but it isn't in my budget to pay for the bms dresses and shoes. In my opinion, if you agree to be in a wedding, then you are also agreeing to fund your own attire. That has always been what I have witnessed. I wanted all my girls to wear the same shoes and, while they had to pay for them, I also made sure they weren't too expensive. The shoes were marked down from 70 to 30 dollars so they didn't have to spend too much. I will be providing their vintage jewelry and robes for the day of. Sometimes I think things are too over the top. If they are your friends, they will be fine with paying, Thats how I see it anyway. I think either way you do it is fine.

A BM, when she agrees to be an attendant in a wedding, knows she's going to have to cover the cost of a dress and several pre-wedding activities. Isn't that enough? If the brides wants more than that -- shoes of a certain color or style, evening gloves, jewelry, a particular hairstyle, professionally applied make-up, or flower crowns, the bride pays for it. If the bride doesn't like footing those bills, then she has the option of telling the BMs to wear what they own. For those who just don't get it -- remember, this is your wedding. If you want your attendants in red shoes, then it's up to you to buy them or let the ladies wear the black shoes they already own. These ladies have budgets too.

My sister specifically had us all wear cheetah heels.. We all paid for our own. Have I worn them again? Nope. But that's the roll you take as a bridesmaid

I've always bought my own as a bridesmaid. For a wedding I'm in this August, the bride sent us the website so we could all buy the shoes way ahead of time.

I've always had to pay for the dress and shoes for every wedding that I have been in. For one of the weddings I had to get dyeable shoes and the bride paid to have them dyed. I think it's already very lenient that you are letting them wear whatever black dress they want. I wouldn't worry about making them buy red shoes. You could probably suggest some cute pairs online for under 40 bucks. I personally love eBay find some inexpensive options, if they still have issues then maybe you could consider paying.

I appreciate everyone's opinion on here! Seems there is no definite answer here though lol, I'm going to let my bridesmaids know I want red shoes. Then if they don't agree, I will pay for them. Thanks guys!

It seems everyone has conflicting answers on this. If your bridal party can't financially swing the cost of the shoes you want, it would be a nice gesture. However, I don't think it's mandatory.

@Natalie the problem with your statement "if they are your friends, they will be fine with paying" is that it implies anyone not fine with paying isn't really your friend and that simply isn't true. These women are already likely paying $100 for a dress they'll likely never wear again. Add to that cost of travel and/or hotel room, bachelorette party (and whoever came up with the idea of a destination bachelorette party was most certainly not a bridesmaid), shower, and a gift. Asking them for anything else is just not right, especially something as small as shoes. Have you ever been to a wedding where your attention was on the bridesmaids' shoes? It's just ridiculous what's expected of bridesmaids.

My feeling is that if you're requiring a very specific type of shoe you should pay. If you sent them a picture of a pair of shoes and said "please buy this exact pair from X store" I think the bride should pay. A wedding I was in the bride made us wear cowboy boots. I needed a new pair since my old ones were very well..old. She didn't pay and it ran me $200. I think if you're just requiring a certain color (and red is not an unusual color) it's not totally outrageous to expect them to pay. Hell they might have a pair of red flats already. I asked my BMs to wear any type of shoe they like in a gold, nude, or light pink color. Since they have such a range to chose from I don't find it necessary to pay.

I am in the "never heard of the bride paying for attire" camp.

P.S. My favorite pair of heels (also FH's favorites on me!) are shiny red ones from Payless! I have had them for 2 1/2 years and still tend to buy dresses that I can wear them with! So I don't think red is an unusual color either.

I am requiring my girls to wear gold shoes and they are buying their own. I don't think it's your responsibility to buy them.

I've always had to pay for the shoes I was required to where. They have now gone to goodwill.... If you want a certain color, let them pick the style they want. But the BM usually pays regardless.

Laura, what are you going to do if half of them buy the shoes and half of them stall on buying the shoes? When will you tell them that you'll pay for them if they can't or don't want to? How will the BMs who paid for the shoes feel when they find out (and they will) that you paid for the red shoes of the BMs who couldn't/wouldn't pay for them with their own money? They could get tricky.

Honestly, if you're willing to pay for them, I'd make that clear up front.

@centerpiece I'm going to tell all of them at the same time. At that time I will see if they have a problem with the red shoes or not, and offer to pay for ALL of their shoes even if just one of them has a problem with it. Everyone is having conflicting answers on this thread, so I think that's best option.

My MOH picked out the shoe and everyone was on board with it and they bought it. I offered to pay, but no one took me up on the offer. I feel like it's usually the BM who buys the shoes. I have in the past and I will again.