Bridesmaids seem unhappy with their dresses

No I mean it sounds like they could have said no prior to and honestly even if they do not like them they are wearing them for you. I cannot say I have loved every dress I wore as a bridesmaid but I did it for the bride. I would not let that be your worry unless they flat out said they hate it and even then their only option is buy another dress which would cause every other bridesmaid. I guess I am of the mindset that when it came to dress attire or hair style I followed what the bride wanted me to do and sucked it up whether I liked it or not. I think you are fine.

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Thank you, Kristen. I really appreciate your opinion & advice. I typically over-worry about things (which I know about myself lol) but I also vowed to never be a bride that is inconsiderate of others and their happiness, as I know they are doing a lot for me to (time, money, etc.) So trying to balance that.

I did send them the dress & asked what they thought so yes, you're right in that regard. Although, I don't know that anyone would flat out say they hate it either, haha.

I agree that if they agreed to them before ordering and aren't giving you any specific negative reactions ("oh, my goodness, I didn't expect it to be SO lowcut..., etc."), I'd just move on. $68 for a BM dress is a steal. I think anyone who has been a BM even once has likely worn a dress they didn't love, it's just part of the territory. It doesn't sound like you've been at all demanding. If they say they are good, I'd take their responses at face value and move on to the next thing!

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I agree but at the end of the day they had a chance to say something. I feel that you were in the right and you did consider their feelings. One bride I got a say in the dress style I like but I did not like the color she assigned for me personally (she wanted an ocean color effect in the dresses) but of course I was there for her day and what she wanted so I did not care. The dress looked fine on me too so it was what it was.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! You’re right. 😀

I think as a friend its only natural to feel guilty when you sense one of your decisions has made a friend unhappy. However, it sounds as though you gave them the opportunity to say no to the dress, and no one did. I have been a bridesmaid in close to 20 weddings, and I have worn a lot of dresses I didn’t particularly enjoy, and a few that I absolutely HATED- but it’s what we do as friends! When someone you love is getting married, you bite the bullet and smile in whatever dress they pick out & support your friend. It was very considerate of you to find such a moderately priced dress - the ones I’ve worn & hated were $150-300. So even if it is not their favorite dress in the world, at least they didn’t spend a lot of money on it!

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Thank you, Chrysta. That's really helpful advice & I know I'd do the same if roles were reversed. I think it also stems from me not prioritizing my happiness & always thinking about others first lol. It's weird for me to be in a position where I'm choosing or thinking about my wants over others'.

This is the dress, btw.

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Yep! I agree.... I've worn a heavily ruffled peach chiffon (with orange flowers...) BM dress with a large peach straw hat (yep, the stuff of "Can you believe this?!?!!???" bridesmaid photos...). You're good!

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Haha OMG! Ok, now I don't feel so bad...

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No, your dresses are great.... Luckily the peach monstrosity was for my sister, who I of course adore, but, yeah, she'll NEVER live that down!

View Quoted Comment I think you picked a great dress! It’s a color that flatters every skin tone, and a style that flatters all body shapes! So even if it isn’t their “personal style”, no one is going to look hideous in this dress! And from what you have said about their comments/reactions to the dress, it doesn’t sound as though anyone hates it or feels uncomfortable in it- On the contrary, the feedback has all been positive! It sounds like you really like to make others happy - maybe because they haven’t said “OMG I love it!” you are mistakenly interpreting that as them not liking the dress because you really want them to love it & be happy! Plus, I think “people pleasers” have a difficult time making decisions because they are worried it will upset others- so maybe you are just worried about your decision and you are looking for a more over the top reaction from your girls in order to put your mind at ease about your selection. If I were you, I would take their comments at face value- that they love the color and they think the dress is cute!

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Thank you, Chrysta... you are 1000% right.

Wait actually I really like that dress, I kinda want one for myself haha.

I think as a bride, and a friend/relative/whatever relation, you will constantly feel guilty about the decisions you make regarding the wedding. What if they don't like the dress I picked for them, what if someone doesn't like my food selection, what if they are inconvenienced with the drive, etc. At the end of the day, it is your wedding, and they agreed to be your BMs, and wearing whatever dress you picked comes with the territory. Besides, it is a lovely dress and I think if anyone truly had a problem with it, they'd say something.

View Quoted Comment The dress is really pretty. At the end of the day it’s your wedding at the end of the day

Stop overthinking!
I let my girls choose their own dresses in the color of MY choosing and ...it was really still basically my choice because even though they picked their own styles, it was MY color and one they probably wouldn’t have picked out and one they probably won’t ever wear again. But they were happy in them because I was happy with them and they WANTED to do this special thing on this special day for me! Don’t discredit the fact that these ladies love you and want you to be happy! They probably care more about that than anything about the dress.

Honestly, I wouldn't worry. In general, people probably never wear their bridesmaids dresses again regardless of liking them lol! So, it isn't really a waste or a loss if they aren't 100% thrilled with the dress. Plus, that price is really fair. For what it's worth, I think the dress is nice.



Also, one thing that has helped me tremendously is to accept a lie as a compliment. My FH actually pointed this out to me and it's really helpful for my anxiety. He said, "maybe they are, but that just shows they love you enough to fake it." If I'm thinking/afraid "what if they don't mean that and deep down hate X?" (For you- the dresses) then I stop and remember that. If they hate it (I doubt it) and they say they love it then that just means that they love YOU enough to make you happy and in the end, isn't that just as good?

Honestly I think it’s OK for specifying the dress I mean no one has majorly complained negatively about it. And honestly only need to wear it one time, they can deal with it aha. And like some of these people have said the likelihood of them wearing it again is not very high.

This is your and your future husband’s day. As a friend, I would be grateful for the couple asking me to share in any way possible! You should not have any more stress about anything than absolutely necessary! Stop worrying, everything will be fine. You have a right to have your dream wedding! This will only happen once, and no one has a right to stress you out or even hint they don’t like your choices in anything. Friends are loving supportive and selfless. Be happy with your choices and realize this: you can be or choose the most juiciest, beautiful , sweetest peach in the bowl. Some people like apples!. Don’t take it personal. You are a beautiful peach and your choices are an expression of the love shared between you and your future mate. Anything anyone says or does to diminish that, is not a friend. Have a beautiful wedding day with your own memories , not theirs! 🤗

View Quoted Comment So we’ll out, thank you!! ❤️

View Quoted Comment Girl, I struggle with anxiety also (outside of wedding mania haha). And I’ve NEVER heard it put this way. Thank you for sharing - that way of looking at things is super helpful. 🙂