Bridesmaids Participation

View Quoted Comment The moment I posted this I regretted it. People on here are so up tight lol. We view it the same way. I don’t see these people just as props. I don’t expect anyone to contribute to anything except buying their dress. BUT it would be nice if I had someone message me saying hey, what can I do to help? Do you need help picking music? Or the colors?

View Quoted Comment I told ya so, lol. I wish more people thought like us. Bridesmaids should really get a clue and offer to help bride with as much or as little as needed. My maid of honor has been extremely involved and helpful. Majority of my bridesmaids offered to help if I needed anything. Although I’ve gotten almost everything done and won’t be utilizing most of their offers to help it was still nice to know that my friends were true friends and wanted to lend a hand.

View Quoted Comment I’m in the situation where 3 of my BMs have been ignored me for almost 2 months. They didn’t reply my text even when I just asked them out for a coffee. I have a discussion asking if I’m choosing the wrong BM, because she seems not caring about me as a friend at all. Also, she’d complain of how single she is when I talk about my wedding planning. She also hates the dress that I bought as an example and gave me an attitude about it, although I’m paying for their dresses and makeup. I regretted right after I got the first comment. Someone really think that I’m demanding from my friends and the comment just made me feel so horrible about myself being not a good friend and a demanding brides.

But all of my girl cousins are married and I’ve been to their wedding, been BMs couple times too. The BMs always offer to help with the planning and all the parties, showers... I don’t see myself having a wedding and simply just wish some girls showing up at the alter with me. Because if that’s what bridal party for, I think my fiance and I are better off being on our own and maybe with our brothers and sisters.

View Quoted Comment

I learned from these forums how little is "expected" of bridesmaids. My best friend/MOH? She didn't know anything. She just straight up didn't care until the day before and then started asking me a ton of questions basically trying to get a ride and be with me the whole time so she could drink.

My sister/MOH? She saw how stressed and alone I was early on and stepped up to help me emotionally. She was always there for me when i needed to vent. She took time to look up ways she could be there for me and help.

And that's how I learned you should really pick your BMs carefully. Pick the people who care enough about your mental well-being to offer help. REGARDLESS of whatever is "expected" or "etiquette". This is a big day and a stressful time. You need support. I don't think it's wrong to want that.