Bridesmaids covering the entire cost of the bridal shower - what's included what's not?

Well, you're not obligated to pitch in any more than you want to. It's all relative but I think that's a kinda expensive shower. I cohosted a shower for 60 people once and we split all costs equally among 5 people, and we all ended up paying no more than $100 each.

Do you know anyone with an apartment or condo clubhouse you can rent? That's what my BMs did for my shower and I've done that for other showers that I've helped to plan, if the owner/tenant rents the space for you the cost is usually $50-$100 and then you can bring your own food/booze/dessert from Costco or wherever.

To answer your actual question I would give a gift but it would be something small, like a really nice card and maybe a nice framed photo of you with a cute message on the back - or something DIY, like personalized wine glasses or kitchen towels, if you're handy.

And a couple of my shower hostesses didn't give a gift, which was fine - the shower is a lovely gift in itself. I was just saying if you have $10 to spare, you can do something really sweet and sentimental, it doesn't have to be a gift off her registry or anything.

I don't think it's OK to just impose a cost on WP. Other BMs may be OK with it, or they just don't want to speak up. If you contribute, I would do what Kris said and just get her something very small. But I would honestly avoid any attempt of getting a gift with other BMs - before you know it it will turn into another couple of hundred $.

Great!! This is super helpful!! Thank you so much for responding! And yes, what an expensive shower :-\ I hope my friend (bride) doesn't take it the wrong way that I don't want to spend money on her shower (if the other bridesmaids decide to share my email with her) haha!

You can, but you don't have to -- the bride knows that you've already given her the gift of the shower. At mine, it was thrown by three ladies: one got me a nice piece of jewelry, and the other two (who did most of the planning and work for the shower) got me very small gifts (one was a vase, the other a little box of notepaper).

Omigosh no!

I would have been pissed if I knew any of my BMs got wrangled into spending too much for my shower! Your friend is likely saving up for a wedding so she's probably all too familiar with the idea of sticking to a budget. Anyway, if one of the other BMs shows her ANY email pertaining to her shower, that BM is a knuckleheaded jerk. Hopefully nobody would ever do that!!!!!

And Mrs S is wise - I remember when Pan was getting pressured to buy her SIL that dang KitchenAid mixer, on top of everything else she was getting pressured to spend. Stick to your guns and politely decline the group gift if anybody brings it up!!!!!!! lol.

I don't think getting her a present is necessary, I did not expect it of my bm's and my MOH just got me like dish cloths and stuff like that from the dollar store so I'd have something to open.

That costs alot cant you do it at a hall like a church basement and bring platters that would save a lot.

Yikes. no gift.