Bridesmaids BF....don't want him at the wedding!

I would just say to her, im sorry but under the circumstances it is my parents home and i have to respect their wishes as to who they want to welcome or not welcome at their home, i think thats the nicest way to say you dont want her bf at your wedding. dont give in, you dont want to take any chance that might ruin your day.

This is a touchy situation. Some brides will tell you it's rude not to invite him, especially if they've been together for at least 6 months.

But, my sister is having a child with the biggest douche in the universe and you better believe his name was NOT on the invite.

I have a similar situation. I have a friend from college I would love to have at the wedding and reception but her BF is a NIGHTMAIRE!!! I have had a few get togethers at my house and each time he turned out to be an ass and at the last one he was at he started a fight. So when it came time the invites to go out she said am I invited? I said you are but he's not....well she was like well bi*&H if he's not invited I'm not coming. So I politely told her thats fine but he's not welcome so the decision is yours. She has not spoke to me since and I am fine with that, but he is not going to ruin "our day".

Needless to say she did not get an invite, cuz she would just show up with him...yeah she's that evil!!

I agree with Marzena's explanation. If he has a drug problem, who knows what may go missing (speaking from experience with a family member with drug problems).

It's not worth the stress you'll have that day.

I think if she's already debating leaving him, she might be fairly understanding

Hmmm, Well maybe when you do tell her let her know she is welcome to bring someone else, a friend or co-worker or what not that should ease the blow.

I was a BM for a friend and she let me know long in advance that I was her friend and a good friend and she would always be there for me, and I was always welcome in her home, for days weeks whatever, but that they did not like him, or the way he treated me and they did not trust him. Also that he was not welcome at their wedding. I was not offended, I was actually happy to have them to blame that he couldn't come cause he was a dick and would have been an embarassment to me had he started a fight with me or done anything.

When I managed to leave him I did go live with them for a few weeks till I got on my feet.

No matter what you do make sure she knows you love her, and that you hold nothing against her for dating him you just don't like him.

Side note I lucked out I didn't like my BM's bf they broke up and she asked if she c

I wouldn't invite him, I don't know why she would say put him on there if he already said he's not interested and she's planning on leaving him.

In regards to having guests in your house, perhaps lock most of the bedroom doors and keep your valuables hidden.

Bring one of our gf's as a date (that wasn't previously going to be invited ) I said sure but made her SWEAR up and down that if she and ex got back together or if she got in a new relationship that she needed to be sure she wanted me to send a STD to this girl (cause she wanted her to think she was origionally invited not just BM's date)

She did get back together with ex. Do I remind her of said promis she made to me or only send her invite with her name not her's and bf's name and hope she understands why? (perhaps I will re-post this ? in July if she and ex last that long. this is break up 3)

Thanks for the advice ladies. I did let her know she was welcome to bring someone else if she wanted to. I'll leave her guest space open! I just hate having to bring up that he's pretty much forbidden here. I'm defitniely also going to let her know she's welcome here anytime. I love her and she really deserves someone great.

Soone2bMrs.Smith: How long ago did your freind promise this? I would just ask her if that's still the plan and say that while you're really happy for her and her bf, the guest list can't really be adjusted.

It sounds like she'd be understanding. If you find a polite way to explain to her how you feel, I don't see how she could blame you for it. It's possible that she'll be hurt/offended, but it seems like, given the situation, she'll be understanding.

I would be sure not to pass the blame off completely. Yes, your parents would not approve, but don't give them all the blame because you do feel that having him there is not in the best interest of everyone involved.

I sympathize with you...my BM and best friend is in an on/again off again relationship with one of the worlds biggest douchebags..right now its off...and I'm trying to figure out how to tell her if they get back together he is NOT allowed at my wedding.

In your case I would just raise your concern with your BM and go from there.

She planned this about 2 months ago, and I really just don't know what to do. She knows that our list is really tight. (actually she is the one who gave me my cat that just passed away and she was there when we put him down and knows the bill was $1200 and that we are strapped for cash) What I will probably do as the wedding isn't till Sept and I don't know if they will last is. Send all the family invites first. When I get back RSVP's send them to the friends. That way if we get some No responses I can replace a family member with her BF. I mean he's not a terrible guy, and he's proper and mr manners and what not, he's just not a good match for her... you know? and I can't afford her to have 2 dates and the other girl was origionally on my back up list. (just after about 5 other people) So as long as I get some no responses we should be OK.

Is it possible to use the excuse that you're not inviting SO's of people that aren't in long term serious relationships? It sounds like she's pretty understanding, but in case he questions why he's not invited, at least there'd be a common explanation on why.