Bridesmaids are stressing me out! Anyone else experience this?!

If they are causing you trouble I would kick them out 😂 they should be there for you to help you not to trouble you!

You’re not alone. My first wedding was a disaster. My friends really let me down. I was alone most of the day, they acted like it was all about them. I realized later this was because I have several sisters and all were bridesmaids, but they were also very important to me so I made up a position for them to be a bigger part of the wedding then they would have been as a guest. This was my mistake as they chose to be insulted that they weren’t “bridesmaids” standing right next to me and instead were “bridesmaids” standing near the isle. They said repeatedly they couldn’t afford the dress my sisters were wearing and I didn’t ask or expect them to do anything special to help with the wedding. They didn’t plan anything and that was ok by me because the point of it for me was to honor the fact that they were important to me while having my sisters in the wedding party as is expected in my big stupid Italian family.


Anyway, I was young and trying to make everyone happy. All that did was make me miserable. I didn’t put myself first so they didn’t put me first either and I shouldn’t have been surprised. Even still it hurt. We aren’t friends anymore and that’s a good thing. I never thought of kicking them out of my wedding, I didn’t think that was even possible.
I mean, this was so ridiculous and they looked for literally any excuse to treat me like crap. Going so far as to tell me later that the reason they acted that way was because I didn’t say please to the salon lady when I asked her for a trashcan (while I was setting out food I bought for them because they were complaining to me about being hungry).... seriously. Some people just suck and they cannot deal with anyone else being a priority, so they make up reasons to be hurtful.
Even if she was right and I was rude, does that make what she did ok? I don’t know if I was rude, I was very stressed out and should not have been getting married that day at all (hence the divorce). My point is this was a justification she made up later to excuse what she knew was hurtful, rude behavior she engaged in while she was supposed to be there with me.
Anyway, if you have the opportunity to remove drama, do it. I suspect it’s one bad apple in the group looking for ways to bad mouth you and make the other girls angry by twisting things you say or do and blowing them up in a way that makes the other girls feel insulted.
I suggest you sit down with each of them one on one and ask them directly if you’ve offended them. If they say yes, deal with it however you feel is appropriate- don’t apologize if you don’t mean it, but validate their feelings and ask them if this can be resolved. After talking with each of them (in person, alone), I would suggest you bring them all together in one place and acknowledge there has been tension, ask them if they feel it is resolved or if there is more you need to discuss. If it is one of them, she might react poorly to this or one of the other girls might tell you. Either way, if she isn’t mature enough to see her own stuff and stop with the drama, you’ll see this and know what to do.
Handle it with kindness, empathy and compassion. Be direct. Do it before the wedding and before they spend anymore money on your wedding - don’t give this person anymore excuses to be hurtful towards you. As long as you are respectful of others, you have a right to put yourself first sometimes.
I hope this helps. I am sorry this is happening. You don’t deserve it. Know you don’t deserve it and act accordingly. You won’t ever regret treating yourself with respect.