Bridesmaids are stressing me out! Anyone else experience this?!

Nope ....that’s why I made my bridal party ALL first cousins ! All girlfriends are invited guest !

What are they doing to make you want to kick them out of your wedding? I was never remotely close to removing my bridesmaids from our wedding.

I only came close to removing one because she was refusing to get a dress from the site I wanted and actually went as far as ordering a dress from a different site and was like "We'll see if it matches this isn't a problem I have months to figure out a dress" (This was Feb. 1st and there was no 'figuring out', she knew where to get a dress from and was being a brat.)

Other than that, they aren't involved in planning any aspect of my wedding so there's been no stress.

I hear you on the drama!! Past wedding I wanted to punch a few folks. This time around, just me and my guy, and the officiant. Everyone else is a guest and better like it!! My first shower is this weekend (church) with a second (family and friends) and third (coworkers) next week. Our ceremony is March 28th and I’m cool with whatever is planned for us.

Mine have actually been pretty good so far! Definitely not as into everything as I thought they would be, but I guess I understand, I mean no one will be as excited as the bride is lol. Only thing that annoys me is when they don’t respond to messages and questions I ask.

We actually did kick two of our bridesmaids out. If you aren’t all about love and support then you don’t belong. They should not be adding to the stress.

Amen Sister..

I for sure had moments I wanted to fire one of mine but at the end of the day I didn’t because I always knew she was unorganized and that her intentions are pure

Hahahah. YES! 2-3 of them. Mainly because the only responsibilities they have are 1) buy the dress 2) show up. And they're failing at both! I'm not having a bachelorette party!

I didn’t have bridesmaids because of this! We have no wedding party and I don’t regret it at all.

It's okay if you don't want to go into detail however I would really think about why they are stressing you out. Are they causing drama? Of course it would be nice if all the Bridesmaids could cooperate but realistically they are supposed to be there on the day of dressing your attire. If you feel that they are not holding down that one responsibility then maybe you do make my guest.

Hi Christina, I had arguments about the dress I wanted my girls to wear ( I paid for them all to stop the complaining ) and I refused to let them help pick out my wedding dress, which caused a lot of fighting also!
I thought this was nice for a bridesmaids dress?

I had one bridesmaid who removed herself from my bridal party. Actually she removed herself from my life completely. We got into a huge fight in September/ October and she insulted my FH and his family. I told her to cut it out. Then I noticed a few days later that she deleted me and blocked me on facebook.

Okay, so I'm not the only one! Phew! We're all in this together. Lol.

I'll try to be as brief as I can be. To start, they have been super disorganized. They barely set a date for the shower yesterday, and that date is April 18. To me, that seems like cutting it close. Maybe I'm wrong and that's plenty of time, but my mom was pretty pissed because she lives out of state and has been waiting on them to figure things out for a while so she can get the time off work and what not. So now she's annoyed with them, too.

At one point, my MOH and another bridesmaid got really upset with me because they found out their moms weren't invited to the wedding. We were trying to keep things small, like 50 people, and now we're at about 90. All but 15 of those people are family. I can see why they might've assumed their moms would be invited since we've known each other since junior high, but I have only seen/spoken to my MOH's mom once or so in the past year, and my other bridesmaid's mom is a horrible person (her mom steals money from her, opened accounts in her name, etc. She also "borrowed" $500 from me and never paid me back, and she has done the same thing to my MOH and her mother. She's just all around a terrible person and I would not pay to have that woman at my wedding). However, if they had read the guest list that I had sent them probably 3 times by that point, they would've known their moms weren't invited. I also felt like them assuming their moms were invited, then guilt-tripping me for not doing it, was seriously selfish and inappropriate. I got really upset.

I also told them from the beginning that I didn't want a bachelorette party. They insisted that I still need to have one. I'm a girl of simple tastes and, if I had no say in the matter as to whether or not I was having one, I would've been fine with a nice brunch, manis/pedis, etc. Something really easy, not expensive, not fussy. They suggested multiple things, none of which were simple or really "me." They know I don't like to party and go out and do things like that. I like my homebody lifestyle. They also weren't on the same page with the bachelorette planning and they were all suggesting different things to me and only me. They weren't discussing it with each other. At one point they had something planned that I was totally excited about (a pole fitness party), then changed the plans again because "not everyone" wanted to do that. Now I am in no way a center-of-attention kind of person. I'm actually kind of nervous about the wedding for that very fact. But I feel like it shouldn't be about what "everyone" wants, it should be about the bride.

As things got further away from "simple" and they began to stress me out more and more, they started giving me more attitude. A mutual friend suggested that I politely remind them that I just want something simple. I did this, and they blew up. I didn't respond because I didn't want there to be even more drama or argument.

The MOH finally reached out to me about a week after that discussion to talk things out. It seemed like things were going to be okay but things now still feel...weird? There's definitely still tension. I tried to ask her today if she wanted her hair and makeup professionally done or if she wanted to do it herself. It doesn't matter to me and I am not going to force anyone to pay $100-$200 to get made up for my wedding. She wasn't giving me a straight answer. I said something along the lines of, "You don't have to say yes, I just need a head count because some salons require a minimum number of people for their services." She got short with me and then suggested I ask the other girls in the group chat as well. I did, and they all gave me short and curt responses. At least I finally got a straight answer out of them. It came across to me that they were still being passive-aggressive over the bachelorette conversation.

Anyway, the gist of it is that I'm just over their attitudes. I feel like they've made this about them and what they want to do. They haven't asked if I need help with anything, they have been super disorganized, and they're just generally stressing me out. I know that to some extent, they are well-intentioned. But the few times I've tried to politely, calmly, and diplomatically talk to them, they blow things up and create drama. A few other friends, who have been on my side for all of this, say they should basically just be saying, "yes, whatever you want to do!" instead of stressing me out. I feel like my MOH thinks she has to side with the bridesmaids, when she should really be mediating between us/diffusing the tension so things can go as smoothly as possible (or preventing tension altogether).

I'm a little sad to say that I don't think we're going to be very close friends after the wedding is over. It's really put into light how little we have in common and how unreliable they can be. I'm also super shocked at how combative they're being about everything because I never would've imagined that there would be any drama from my friends at all. Part of the reason I wanted to have a wedding at all was to celebrate one of the best times of my life with them! But all they've done is infuriate me.

Sorry. That wasn't brief at all, was it?

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That's a beautiful dress! I would love to wear that!

Also, I would not complain because it's YOUR day, not mine. I'll wear a trash bag if you want me to!

I don't get why people don't have that mentality in weddings...it's about the bride and the groom. That's it.

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Ugh, I'm wishing I did that too...

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I agree! They should be by your side, not adding to the stress. Weddings are already stressful enough.

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Definitely causing drama, but in the vein of what you said, if they show up and walk down the aisle on the day of, then they will have done the only thing I need them to do.

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Oh I am sorry they are causing drama. That is unfortunate when the bridal party cannot act right.

View Quoted Comment Thank you Christina, you're so right!! one of the girls just backed out on me, that's fine, she was such a problem any way, now I have a dress which I think is a really pretty!!! that can't be returned, that's okay, I'm going with 3 bridesmaids instead of 4, I forget what size she was, but she's giving it back of course, I don't want it to go to waste, if it's your size, I'd love to donate it to you!