Bridesmaids and weight!

Cont...

I don't want it to seem like I'm pushing her to lose weight, but I also want to help her if she wants to.

What do you guys think.

This is walking a fine line. It isn't your place to say anything to her. It is on her to get her dress altered if it doesn't fit. So unless you really want to shell out for a gym membership and go multiple times a week, I'd just leave it be and if it doesn't fit, she's got to figure it out.

I think it's good to be supportive of healthy lifestyles. Whether its wedding related or not.

I'm just confused, that you're concerned about HER weight for YOUR wedding...

If she has mentioned that she wants to go to the gym and asked you to go with her, it seems she is concerned about her weight gain so if you can go with her to the gym, I think you should go for it. Thank you for explaining that it's not that you have a problem with the way she looks (I think you would get flack for that) but that the dresses have been ordered, her weight is a legitimate concern. I think gentle encouragement is probably the best bet in this instance.

I think it's great that you want to help your friend get healthy, especially because (as you said) everyone can use a good work out. Even if you're a healthy weight, you still need exercise for heart and bone health and to be toned.

But I really don't think this should be about weight or her being your BM. It should be about being healthy, and you supporting a friend. I wouldn't bring up the fact that she might not fit into her dress, or use your wedding as a "goal date" for her, or anything like that. She's probably well aware of the fact that her dress might not fit when it comes in, and if it doesn't you all can deal with it then.

Good luck with working out, and good for you for wanting to support a friend!

You're between a rock and a hard place. Either help her out or don't comment on it. If she has to pay to have her dress altered that's on her.

I am in a similar situation, my FSIL has gained about 40 lbs in the last two years or so (very ugly breakup) and wont try on her dress. She ordered it, it arrived, but she has yet to try it on. I am not saying a word to her on the subject and it will be on her to make sure it fits correctly.

If it's not focused on your wedding, I agree that helping each other with a healthy lifestyle is not a bad thing. honestly, it won't do either of you any harm to sweat a little bit

what I would be extremely careful of is saying things like "we have 6 months to lost 10 inches/pounds/whatever!" because that would really make it seem like all you care about is your wedding and not actually her health. know what i mean?

I totally agree with what Lisa said.

I'm confused as to why it's an issue simply because you stated that size did not matter. You have enough going on with the wedding, adding a personal trainer to your wedding planning title seems crazy. It's her body so I just don't see why her weight is an issue. Your basically taking responsibility for her weight issue by getting a membership so she will go

Also, one of my bridesmaids is preggers and was able to exchange her dress at DB for the next size up. i don't know if that is relevant, but just wanted to add that in case it is.

I don't think you can expect her to lose weight for your wedding. It would just hurt her feelings. Don't worry about the dress either. I had 2 bridesmaids get pregnant so they will both be about 7 months pregnant when the I do's take place. They already had their dresses and got to take them in and exchange them. It doesn't sound like she has already ordered the dress right? And if your wedding isn't until May she would still have plently of time to work all of that out. I don't think you should worry about her weight, focus on what you have to do for the wedding. That will give you enough to stress about.

Be gym buddies. Even if you don't need/want to lose weight, it will help you get toned. Just be a supportive friend, wedding aside.

If she asked you to go with her, then go with her. You can help each other out.

I think you leave it alone, honestly. Be supportive IF she asks.

Bridesmaids are not props. They are people you pick because you care about them, and of course, part of that is caring if they're healthy.

Take her up on the gym offer! Don't say anything about her weight though. She knows she has gained, and doesn't need anyone to point it out for her.

This is kinda like my problem with one of my bridesmaids having a bad tattoo on her chest and up her neck. Everyone has told me to just let her show it like she wants. Its hers and not mine, so if she is okay with looking like that then just let it be.

^ I agree with DanieGee

Honestly, I don't even think you should be her gym buddy. Your motive is your wedding and that's not fair to her. Just let her do her own thing and be supportive of her going to the gym, but please remember that she's your friend first.

You can't say you just want her to be healthy - when there's an ulterior motive.

I would never ask one of my bridesmaids to lose weight, and the dress issue you would be on her to get alterations.

However, you seemed concerned for her and she asked you to join the gym with her... I think I would do it if I were you and had the time/money. Maybe her gym even offered discounts when you are "referred". Either way, during a time when my friends are doing so much for me and my wedding, I would be more than happy to be there for them on their own little journey.