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CoastalBridalBabe
Savvy September 2020

Bridesmaid

CoastalBridalBabe, on June 25, 2019 at 3:15 PM

Posted in Wedding Attire 51

I just had a bridesmaid complain about the color I'm having her wear and request to wear a darker color. I don't even know how to react.

I just had a bridesmaid complain about the color I'm having her wear and request to wear a darker color. I don't even know how to react.

51 Comments

  • Brooke
    Dedicated October 2020
    Brooke ·
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    Then don't be in the wedding if you don't like what the bride wants 🤦🤷
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  • Julia
    Savvy June 2022
    Julia ·
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    I would tell her that is the color you like and if she doesn’t like it she can attend as a guest. It’s your day and you deserve to have what you like.
    • Reply
  • Pattie
    Expert June 2020
    Pattie ·
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    I’d smile and say “no. This is the color we are moving forward with. I understand your not a huge fan of it. If it is a deal breaker for you, then I understand and I would love it if you would attend the wedding as a regular guest.”
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  • Jessica
    VIP October 2019
    Jessica ·
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    Bye Felicia
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  • L
    Lady ·
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    That has nothing to do with it, i'm happy to stand with and support my friends and don't complain about colors or dress prices to their faces. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

    However, I do think it's crappy to force people to purchase something they dont' like and won't wear again - so i understand why the BM might feel that way. In my opinion, if you want something specific you should pay for it. If you dont' want to pay for it, I think the BM's should have freedom to pick whatever they want (like, find a long black dress....something like that).

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  • Chelsea W.
    Dedicated October 2020
    Chelsea W. ·
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    SMH. It’s your day! If she doesn’t like the color of the dress then maybe she shouldn’t be a bridesmaid? 🤷🏻‍♀️
    • Reply
  • CoastalBridalBabe
    Savvy September 2020
    CoastalBridalBabe ·
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    The dressBridesmaid 1

    So this is the dress and the color. She has the same hair, skin, and shape as the model in this picture.

    I have a few different colors for the bridesmaids. She doesn't want to wear it because she wants a darker color. Literally, that's the only reason. She likes dark colors. She'd wear black if she could. I told her I worked hard getting the order right (I wanted my family members to be closest to me). She basically "ok"d me to death and said "it is what it is". When I said "I'm sorry" she ignored me. The dress is also not expensive and even has pockets! I don't even know what to say. So awkward!

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  • CoastalBridalBabe
    Savvy September 2020
    CoastalBridalBabe ·
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    Just posted again with response to this!

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  • Brooke
    Dedicated October 2020
    Brooke ·
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    That has everything to do with it 😂 it's the brides day for christs sake, if you are a part of the wedding party, then you wear what the bride picks out. Plain and simple. Some people can't just let everyone wear whatever type of dress they want in said color, because they need it to look uniform. "Don't complain to their faces" soooo, you're two faced? Great friend you are 🙌
    Yes, on top of paying for an entire wedding let me pay for all these extra dresses too because I need it to look uniform for my sanity. That makes complete sense. Not.
    Seriously, it's not that hard to suck it up and wear a dress you don't like for ONE SINGLE DAY if that's what your friend/sister/whatever the bride is to you wants. Easy enough to turn around and sell a dress you'll never wear again, rather than hurt your friendship.
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  • Alycia
    Super July 2021
    Alycia ·
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    I don’t agree at all with the idea that the bm should get to choose what she wears. If you accept an invitation to stand up at a wedding, you are agreeing to wear the dress assigned by the bride and yes you are agreeing to pay for it. If it’s too much trouble to do so, don’t accept.
    • Reply
  • Brooke
    Dedicated October 2020
    Brooke ·
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    You didn't even need to say you are sorry to her, there is nothing to be sorry about. It's your day. She can wear the dress you picked, or sit and wear whatever she pleases girl! It's about YOU and FH, not her 🤷
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  • Brooke
    Dedicated October 2020
    Brooke ·
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    Yessss🙌👏🙌👏🙌👏
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  • CoastalBridalBabe
    Savvy September 2020
    CoastalBridalBabe ·
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    Thank you!

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  • Cheryl
    Expert November 2020
    Cheryl ·
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    The dress is very pretty. Are your family members wearing different colors from your friends? Does everyone else have theirs? Could you switch the colors around before people order? What does everyone else think?

    I understand that this is very annoying. My knee jerk reaction to this is to say it's what you want and she just needs to suck it up, but then I always think about how easy or difficult it would be to work with people. If there's no room to budge then there just isn't.
    • Reply
  • CoastalBridalBabe
    Savvy September 2020
    CoastalBridalBabe ·
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    Thank you! My cousins are the first three walking and they're who the colors start with.

    She is actually the ONLY one who isn't happy. Everyone else is so happy! I have a feeling it may be a personality thing that I'm going to run into. :/

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  • L
    Lady ·
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    LOL, so I can't privately not like something you pick out or think it's too expensive but support you anyway, but if I say anything about it i'm also a monster? Got it. My exact point was that I suck it up and do what the bride wants.

    However, I'm stating my opinion that in general it's crappy to have to pay for something you hate because someone else wants it - one way of mitigating that is for the bride (not necessarily this bride, just brides in general) to be considerate of their BM's in both style and price.

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  • L
    Lady ·
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    This is a beautiful dress!

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  • L
    Lady ·
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    That's not always possible if the bride does not ask for budget ahead of time. Brides dont' typically say "will you be a bridesmaid? the dress i picked out is $300". I would 100% wear whatever i'm asked but there's also room for all brides to be considerate of their bridesmaids when making decisions as well.

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  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
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    I love that dress and want my MOH in it in purple!
    It sounds like you did all you can do. If she's going to act like a child tell her she can't be a bridesmaid. Only grown women are bridesmaids.
    • Reply
  • Rachel
    Expert September 2019
    Rachel ·
    • Flag

    Giiirrrrlllll after seeing your update, I am even MORE annoyed with your bridesmaid. OMFG the dress is fine and if she really hates it that much, she can try to sell it after the wedding on Poshmark/Mercari/EBay.

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