CoastalBridalBabe
Savvy September 2020

Bridesmaid

CoastalBridalBabe, on June 25, 2019 at 3:15 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 51
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I just had a bridesmaid complain about the color I'm having her wear and request to wear a darker color. I don't even know how to react.

51 Comments

Latest activity by Ian, on June 27, 2019 at 5:13 PM
  • CourtneyBrittain
    Master August 2019
    CourtneyBrittain ·
    • Flag
    Assuming you’re having them all in matching colors or dresses, I would just tell her that that’s the color you’d like her to wear, and that if she’s not comfortable you’ll hear her reasons out. In the end, if it comes down to her just not liking it or something, you could just say it’s the dress or she can come as a guest.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    "No" is a complete sentence.

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  • Hannah
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    Literally the only responsibility of a bridesmaid is to buy the specified dress and show up dresses in it on the wedding day. I would simply say that this is the color you like, and if she would like to wear anything else, she can do so as a regular guest.
    • Reply
  • Shanna
    Beginner October 2020
    Shanna ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    This exactly
    • Reply
  • Lauren
    VIP September 2019
    Lauren ·
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    ^ this, I need more of this in my life.Smiley xd

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  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    Unless you're allowing mismatched dresses then she just has to deal with it
    • Reply
  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
    • Flag

    Tell her politely that you appreciate her input, but this is the color you've chosen, and if she wants to be a bridesmaid, she will get a dress in this color, and wear it on the day without complaint.

    This is your wedding. She doesn't get to decide. It's one of the things to consider when asked to be a bridesmaid.

    • Reply
  • Haley
    Dedicated April 2020
    Haley ·
    • Flag
    Get the dress or a get a seat with the rest of the guests. Even highlighter yellow would not make me decline a wedding party invitation.
    • Reply
  • Arielle
    Expert August 2020
    Arielle ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    This about sums it up for me too.

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  • allison
    Just Said Yes May 2019
    allison ·
    • Flag
    Tell her to look up bridesmaids dresses from the past and then she’ll know to be grateful!!
    • Reply
  • Kat_
    Super October 2019
    Kat_ ·
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    This sucks but the advice in this thread is on point. We had a lot of chatter around our dresses too (they were able to pick the style and everyone loved the color they just all hate the sizes at Azazie). I just think a bridal party isn’t complete without some drama.. lol.
    • Reply
  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
    • Flag
    I like all of the advice that’s been given. Basically she doesn’t have a choice. She either wears what you pick or sits with the other guests.
    • Reply
  • L
    Lady ·
    • Flag

    I mean, if she's one of your best friends I dont' think this is super out of line. If you dont' want to consider anything else, just tell her you know it's not her fave but this is what you want. The be done with it.

    Just an aside - not necessarily directed at you: this is one of the reason I think it's really crappy that BM's typically have to pay for their own dresses. I have definitely done it without complaint to the bride but am always angry/annoyed when I have to shell out money for a dress that I personally think is an unflattering shape or ugly color on me.

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  • Samantha
    Devoted December 2019
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    Not her place to request a different color. I would explain to her you have chosen the color and based your theme/decor/flowers around this color. That is the color you like, so it is what it is
    • Reply
  • Rachel
    Expert September 2019
    Rachel ·
    • Flag

    Ugh...... are they all wearing matching dresses? I mean, that's literally what you risk saying yes to when you say yes to being a bridesmaid, and literally every woman born since the 60s (at least) knows this.

    I personally showed my bridesmaids our color scheme and had them vote on their favorite color for dresses (it was unanimous; I got lucky) because I was pretty 50-50 on which to choose. I also told them after they chose it that they had to stick to that exact shade of blue, and that I'd greatly prefer a long dress. Two out of three have gotten gorgeous long dresses in exactly the styles I'd have picked on my own, and the other is still looking for hers. She's thinking tea length, but since I told them I want them to feel comfortable in a dress they're wearing for my thing that they have to buy, I suppose it comes with the territory. If you have enough time, are doing not-matching dresses, and the others haven't purchased, is something like this a possibility? Or are you 100% set?

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  • Diana
    VIP December 2019
    Diana ·
    • Flag
    Are they all wearing the same colors or are they wearing different colors. Plus I personally don’t think it’s her place to decide what color she should or shouldn’t wear to your wedding. It’s supposed to be about you and your future spouses day, she should wear it or have a seat.
    • Reply
  • Rachel
    Devoted October 2019
    Rachel ·
    • Flag

    I have to say I agree with what people are saying. It is supposed to be considered an honor to stand next to your friend as they enter their marriage. If she doesn't love you enough to put on a dress and shut-up, then maybe she should watch you get married from the audience. Sucks that she would even say this though, that's terribly frustrating. Good luck getting it figured out.

    • Reply
  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    I have a handful of thoughts.
    Did you pick the color yourself? Are you allowing any input from bridesmaids? I know tradition says bride picks one dress and everyone sucks it up, but I think in the modern world we can all agree forcing people to buy a dress they hate is maybe not practical.
    I figure if you're dictating the exact dress then expect complaints, if there's room for options there's less complaints. You have to decide what kind of wedding you want and what kind of bride you are. If you're a strict traditional one then tell her that's the requirement and end the conversation.
    • Reply
  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
    • Flag
    I've only known of one bridesmaid who tried and was able to convince the bride to let her change dress colors. And it was specifically because the MOH was a little bigger and couldn't find that color in her size. So she got the same color as the bridesmaids and got a different color bouquet.
    But that was a "cant find a size 20 orange dress" not a "I dont like this color" situation.
    Sorry, but part of being a bridesmaid is wearing the dress you were asked to wear. 🤷‍♀️
    Tell her no, and she can get over it.
    • Reply
  • Cassi
    Super October 2019
    Cassi ·
    • Flag

    Quite curious as to the follow up on this thread. Did you talk to the bridesmaid? What did you say and what did she say? When i picked my colors originally my girls were quite hesitant about one of my colors but after I assured them it was just an accent color (for bouquets and such) they loved the dress shopping time! Smiley smile

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