Assuming you’re having them all in matching colors or dresses, I would just tell her that that’s the color you’d like her to wear, and that if she’s not comfortable you’ll hear her reasons out. In the end, if it comes down to her just not liking it or something, you could just say it’s the dress or she can come as a guest.
Literally the only responsibility of a bridesmaid is to buy the specified dress and show up dresses in it on the wedding day. I would simply say that this is the color you like, and if she would like to wear anything else, she can do so as a regular guest.
This sucks but the advice in this thread is on point. We had a lot of chatter around our dresses too (they were able to pick the style and everyone loved the color they just all hate the sizes at Azazie). I just think a bridal party isn’t complete without some drama.. lol.
I mean, if she's one of your best friends I dont' think this is super out of line. If you dont' want to consider anything else, just tell her you know it's not her fave but this is what you want. The be done with it.
Just an aside - not necessarily directed at you: this is one of the reason I think it's really crappy that BM's typically have to pay for their own dresses. I have definitely done it without complaint to the bride but am always angry/annoyed when I have to shell out money for a dress that I personally think is an unflattering shape or ugly color on me.
Ugh...... are they all wearing matching dresses? I mean, that's literally what you risk saying yes to when you say yes to being a bridesmaid, and literally every woman born since the 60s (at least) knows this.
I personally showed my bridesmaids our color scheme and had them vote on their favorite color for dresses (it was unanimous; I got lucky) because I was pretty 50-50 on which to choose. I also told them after they chose it that they had to stick to that exact shade of blue, and that I'd greatly prefer a long dress. Two out of three have gotten gorgeous long dresses in exactly the styles I'd have picked on my own, and the other is still looking for hers. She's thinking tea length, but since I told them I want them to feel comfortable in a dress they're wearing for my thing that they have to buy, I suppose it comes with the territory. If you have enough time, are doing not-matching dresses, and the others haven't purchased, is something like this a possibility? Or are you 100% set?
Are they all wearing the same colors or are they wearing different colors. Plus I personally don’t think it’s her place to decide what color she should or shouldn’t wear to your wedding. It’s supposed to be about you and your future spouses day, she should wear it or have a seat.
I have to say I agree with what people are saying. It is supposed to be considered an honor to stand next to your friend as they enter their marriage. If she doesn't love you enough to put on a dress and shut-up, then maybe she should watch you get married from the audience. Sucks that she would even say this though, that's terribly frustrating. Good luck getting it figured out.
I have a handful of thoughts. Did you pick the color yourself? Are you allowing any input from bridesmaids? I know tradition says bride picks one dress and everyone sucks it up, but I think in the modern world we can all agree forcing people to buy a dress they hate is maybe not practical. I figure if you're dictating the exact dress then expect complaints, if there's room for options there's less complaints. You have to decide what kind of wedding you want and what kind of bride you are. If you're a strict traditional one then tell her that's the requirement and end the conversation.
I've only known of one bridesmaid who tried and was able to convince the bride to let her change dress colors. And it was specifically because the MOH was a little bigger and couldn't find that color in her size. So she got the same color as the bridesmaids and got a different color bouquet. But that was a "cant find a size 20 orange dress" not a "I dont like this color" situation. Sorry, but part of being a bridesmaid is wearing the dress you were asked to wear. 🤷♀️ Tell her no, and she can get over it.
Quite curious as to the follow up on this thread. Did you talk to the bridesmaid? What did you say and what did she say? When i picked my colors originally my girls were quite hesitant about one of my colors but after I assured them it was just an accent color (for bouquets and such) they loved the dress shopping time!