Bridesmaid Willing Dropped Out

If you really want her to be in the wedding, there's nothing wrong with offering help her. But with you saying you're relieved about her dropping out sound like she shouldn't be a BM to begin with.

If I was in this situation, I wouldn't offer to help. I would just have her be a guest.

At least your friend is giving you enough time to figure everything out. Two months before our wedding, one of our GM (DH's cousin) dropped out....well actually his crazy GF did. She texted me this long speech saying he just couldn't be in the wedding. This GM NEVER contacted DH to say anything, DH reached out to him but there was never a response. We found out everything the crazy GF told me was a lie and the real reason was that she didn't want him standing up with another girl. We didn't even invite them to the wedding, I can't even imagine what kind of bullshit this chick would have done. We really dodged a bullet with that one.

I don't mean to laugh but this is funny. Same exact thing happened to me. I actually think the bridesmaid was expecting me to offer to help her. She invited herself to be a bridesmaid and we were pretty close so I wasn't against it. Well a little over a year out she said she just lost her job and was dropping out. I asked her to wait, she may find a new job (there were no wedding expenses st that time, lol) anything could happen within a year.

Well, after a little back and forth trying to tell her she was jumping the gun. She told actually admitted that it wasn't about the money. It was because I wasn't being a good friend to her!

Could it be something else? She can't quit and then hop back in, so I'd make sure there isn't something else going on

I think privately helping her out would be fine. I'm doing it for one of my BMs. She teaches English in South Korea and her flight home was WAY more than anyone else would be spending so I offered to pay for her lodging and dress. (She isn't coming home just for my wedding, she is visiting her family for a week as well---in case it sounded like I made her fly from SK for only one day.)

I am having a Skype session with her this weekend so I will discuss all these options with her then. After speaking with her - I think I will take the advice to let it sit for a while (I have two years till the wedding) so plenty of things could change between now and then (including my own finances). Thank you for all the advice.

@Ruth; It does sound like you dodged a bullet!

@Mrs. S: I plan to double check with her but I think it's because she is money worried. She has had a rough few years.

If your wedding isn't until 2017 it sounds like she doesn't want to be in it anyway. That's plenty of time to get something together if she really wanted. If you offered to buy her dress she'd still find a reason not to be in your wedding.

She wanted in.... Now she wants out... All her decisions. I'd just let it stand.

She'll have a great time as a guest and maybe she can even come get ready with you girls or get her nails down with you, if you want her to (She can save up for that over 2 years, surely).

Just let her out of the BP. She invited herself, you didn't ask her. Now she is saying she can't do this, and you are relieved. Why offer to help? Still invite her to the shoeer, bach party, wedding, etc as a guest. She'll participate where she can and she won't where she can't.