Bridesmaid ttc

I honestly think you should feel honored your BM decided to confide in you this intimate detail. I know plenty of women who keep this between themselves and their spouse because being asked every single month if you’re pregnant yet can be exhausting. She didn’t have to give you any notice. She could have waited until the appropriate trimester to announce to everyone; she could have waited until three months before you’re wedding to tell you.

I don’t think it’s fair for you to expect her to decline being a BM because she *might* not be able to come because she *might* be pregnant. How is she supposed to predict this? in the unlikely event she has to miss your wedding - (so unlikely, she will conceive right away and be due on your wedding. My SIL was 8.5 months pregnant at our wedding and she still made it). Do you really want her to feel like she’s that easily replaceable? Do you really want her replacement to feel second best and like she was only chosen because your closer friend can’t come?

Its nice that you found a bunp friendly dress dress but as far as excusing her from the bachelorette and shower: 1) those aren’t required, she needn’t be excused; 2) she’s not even pregnant yet and may not even be by this time; 3) pregnant bridesmaids (and pregnant brides) attend showers and bachelorettes all the time. I would just treat her like a normal person, you’re probably putting more pressure on her by saying things like you don’t have to come to this or that. Deal with it when she’s pregnant.

Do not replace her. If she is able to be there that's great, if not then that's ok too. Many couples have uneven bridal parties. Your wedding is not here yet & she is not pregnant. Let it go, don't replace her, see what happens & what she decides to do. You can't make that decision for her.

There's nothing to handle. If she gets pregnant and can be at your wedding, then she will be. If she can't, then she won't be. You don't replace her because she had the audacity to not put her plans for having a child on hold for your wedding. It's unfair to replace a bridesmaid, regardless of the notice you give, because you're telling both friends that neither one of them is that important, because they're interchangeable.

And on a personal note - she could get pregnant on the first try, or it could take her months. I got pregnant on the first try (with twins no less), and now it's taken 6 months and counting for the baby we are currently TTC. It's been difficult these last 6 months, and I couldn't imagine being as upset about this as I am now, but also having a bride breathing down my neck about needing to know if I was pregnant.

You also know that she may not tell you until she's 12 weeks pregnant, right? It's not your right to know what's going on with her body just because she's your bridesmaid.

View Quoted Comment Im with you i dont get the pushback. Sure you couldve waited but are you wrong for giving an advanced notice? Not at all. I would really appreciate advanced notice if i were to be in a wedding. In fact i asked my maids 10 months+ because why wait? Im sure they appreciate knowing and being able to prep etc. People plan trips, have nursery fees, have to get time off, plan to for wedding related activities etc.