Bridesmaid Troubles

View Quoted Comment We opted for the number we did for a few reasons 1) we have a lot of friends and a lot of family. 2) Being Christians, we love what the numbers represent (7 is the number of completion, 8 a new beginning. They were to represent the completion of the chapter "single" as we represented the beginning of the chapter "married.") 3) Idk if you've seen some of my comments elsewhere but our wedding is going to be massive (1000 person head count).
As far as "first time around," none of my bridesmaids know when I asked ANY of the rest of them and tbh, none of them even know each other because they're all in different circles of my life (my family, his family, work, etc) so concern about "feeling left out" or "like a replacement" is really difficult to have when we haven't had our engagement party or couples party yet. 🤷🏾‍♀️ The only things that are decided are 1) it's definitely going to be on Oahu. 2) a professional (already narrowed down) WILL be doing hair and makeup, 3) where in the line she'll be (that was based on height and ALL of my bridesmaids know that. 🤷🏾‍♀️), and 4) which color dress she'll be in (dictated by position in line).
I could see her feeling some kind of way if I waited until after the engagement party to ask. I wouldn't, though.

View Quoted Comment I feel like summer is too late bc of the distance I'm asking everyone to go (Hawaii from Ohio/Indiana). Add to it, being non-traditional, we're planning our wedding on a Thursday, so, I feel like people need extra time to prepare themselves. Most weddings are on a Friday or Saturday. (I refuse to pay a premium for the exact same space just because of a day. 🙄)
As far as the "right decision", in matters that involve human beings, we can never be 100% sure, can we? After all, the biggest betrayal was that of someone who had been one of my BEST friends for almost a decade.

View Quoted Comment After your comment, I took some time to actually sort some things out. The initial gut thought was that maybe I overreacted because we'd been friends, really good friends, for so long. But the more I dwelled on the facts of what happened, the more pissed off I got. I came to the conclusion that if we had of been as good of friends as I had thought, she never would have even thought to do what she did. It was a one sided action.
The more I thought about it, too, though, the more I realized that she had done something similar before. I had believed her claims of innocence, then. I had allowed myself to trust her slowly again. And that pissed me off more than ever before. I realized that if I genuinely want to be happy, I have to get rid of the snakes in my garden. She hadn't realized that I had been slowly stepping her out of my life when she messaged me one day the next week to say that she didn't think she should be part of my bridal party anymore.

I honestly think the woman I have in mind to be a bridesmaid is a much better fit anyway. We bump heads more but it's because we're at different phases of life. She's always been there for me though, so, she's a sound choice.

View Quoted Comment You need to do what is best for you even if that means removing people from your life. I hope things get better asks go smoothly.

Things have already gotten better and smoother since. It's kind of frustrating to realize, though that someone I was so close with was one of my primary hindrances.
Thank you.