Bridesmaid Promotion

View Quoted Comment As I stated do DC Bride: They generally help in planning the bridal shower, bachlorette party, make speech at the wedding, etc. They're the brides right hand woman or go to girl. So yes, a little extra responsibility when it comes to MOH. Not saying ALL women expect their MOHs to do the same or be involved at all, but at that point, then they truly aren't MOH, they're just a bridesmaid.
Everything you listed is what a BRIDESMAID is usually expected to do. Not MOH. Again, not all brides expect MOH to help in anything, but generally MOH do a bit more.

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Because your MOH and bridesmaids should not have duties or responsibilities. Again, it is not a job. They don't have to plan showers or parties or make speeches. They don't have to be involved in planning. They have to wear the dress that the bride picks out and show up on your wedding day. If they OFFER to do more then great. If not - they shouldn't be made to feel like the failed at a job. I can't even imagine referring to someone who agreed to buy a dress and travel to stand up next to me at my wedding "just a bridesmaid".

View Quoted Comment That's a great way to risk being really disappointed when people don't live up to your expectations. It's far healthier to expect nothing other than wedding day participation and graciously accepting any offers, from the wedding party or anyone else. Moderating expectations will lead to a far better time!

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Exactly this!!

View Quoted Comment I don't understand why it's such a difficult concept for so many to understand

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I think there is a weird sense of entitlement that some acquire when they become brides.

View Quoted Comment They don't HAVE to be. But as stated, it's what a MOH does. Simply google it & nearly every site that comes up will list a TON of responsibilities of being a MOH. I can honestly say I have NEVER been to a wedding that the MOH did not give a speech. I have never been to a bridal shower that the MOH did not have some part in even if it was holding the microphone announcing the games & answers to games. The MOH is also mostly the woman you see writing down all the gifts & who they're from for the couple at the shower. Again, if the bride chooses not to have the MOH involved or do anything other than stand next to her in the dress she picked, then she is a bridesmaid. I've never known a MOH who OFFERED to do anything, because its automatically assumed that when they agreed to be the MOH, they happily stepped up to do what MOST MOHs do, unless the bride says otherwise. Not saying all the other women standing next to me are "just bridesmaids", but women get VERY excited & feel so honored to be asked to be MOH, so again, if she is not giving a speech or helping with planning, then I don't see there being any reason to having a MOH. There are plenty of things I've heard over the years that I would NOT expect a MOH to do, but there are a couple responsibilities that you ask of a MOH. If you're not having your MOH do that, then that's obviously up to you. But without even asking, my matron & maid of honor have already started writing speeches, asking me about bridal shower plans & wanting get together to start discussing wedding planning because they are so excited (my wedding in not until October 2020). I haven't told them to do any of that & of course I appreciate every single thing they're doing or want to help with because they don't HAVE to. I've asked my sister, (my Matron) who was married herself (widowed now) & has been both a bridesmaid & MOH multiple times, about MOH responsibilities because I don't want my girls feeling obligated to do anything or agreeing to anything they dont want to actually do.
But this has gone far past the point of this original post. You & I clearly each have our own views on the subject & are entitled to our own opinions. As for the original post I just dont think it's fair that because she had a falling out with her MOH, it doesn't mean she doesnt get to have one whether she's writing a speech/helping plan or not. Especially if she feels she has another bridesmaid who would be honored to have the title of MOH.

View Quoted Comment Maybe for some brides. Luckily for me, my sister & best friend are matron & maid of honor & have already started writing speeches & wanting to help with planning & I'm not getting married until October 2020. But as I replied to DC Bride this is far past the point & I don't think it's fair for the original poster to be told that because she had a falling out with her MOH, now she doesn't get one.

Okay thank you guys. I don’t think it’s nessecary for anyone to continue to try and prove a point I just came here to get some advice. Thanks.

View Quoted Comment Agreed. But I feel like losing friendships happens when everyone is going through different things in life, especially when everyone handles them differently.
It makes me sad because I've had a falling out with my best friend about 4 times and I care about her so much that I seriously try to rekindle our friendship after we've had our space. I am very hesitant about adding her to my wedding party and I know she could never be my MOH because of this. (Luckily since becoming a mom she has really matured)

View Quoted Comment Sorry Kaitlin, I didn't think my original comment would cause such a fuss. I really hope that everything works out for you & you have an amazing wedding day!

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Um. I totally agree with everything you said. Not to add fuel to the fire, but bridesmaids and maids/matrons of honor definitely have duties! They don't HAVE to have them. But traditionally they do. They help and hang out and spend time with you while you do all those things. Why ask someone to be a bridesmaid if you just need someone to look pretty in a dress on the day of. That really doesn't make sense to me.

View Quoted Comment It's wonderful that they have chosen to do those things. There is nothing wrong with it, it's a lovely bonus. What DC and I are saying is that EXPECTING the extras sets people up for disappointment.

View Quoted Comment It is very wonderful & I'm so glad that I have so many wonderful ladies that will be standing by my side & there to help when/if needed. I never said you & DC were wrong. I am not expecting anything & I never said anyone should. You & DC each made a rude remark that was unnecessary. I'm definitely not one of the "entitled" brides. FH & I do not come from well off families & expect nothing from no one. & from your comment, it's not a hard concept to understand. I get what you're saying. I simply said that GENERALLY MOH have a couple of responsibilities because that is how the title of MOH traditionally goes. However, I never said they HAVE to. Just that it is usually the case with the title. I never disrespected anyone because everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I am respecting Kaitlin's wish for no one to continue proving their point & I hope all you ladies have amazing wedding days full of fun, love & happiness!

View Quoted Comment Neither of us were rude. Straight forward, yes, but that doesn't mean rude.

I'm glad that that you have helpful people with you and that you aren't expecting things from them. However you are still stating that the moh has additional responsibilities. That is simply not true. There may be things that a moh may choose to take on, and it may happen quite frequently, but it's not a responsibility because of a title.