Bridesmaid Promotion

I would just keep her as a bridesmaid. My MOH stopped speaking to me back in July. And I secretly wish that I would've asked another one of my friends to be MOH instead of the woman I did ask. Just to make sure no one feels like 2nd best, I just would keep her as a bridesmaid. There's no rule that you MUST have a MOH, so don't feel like you have to.

I just bumped one of my bridesmaids up to maid of honor and she was ecstatic. I just explained the reasoning and she understood completely and said she'd be "honored" (we both love puns). Do whatever you want! If you know she'll appreciate it, and it's what you truly want, don't let anyone discourage you from doing it 😁

You’re not “promoting” anyone because it’s not a job and you aren’t their boss. Don’t replace people, don’t make someone your new maid of honor. Keep her as a bridesmaid or else she will actually be a second choice, whether she feels that way or not.

My MOH had a major falling out before the wedding and she no longer attended the wedding. Meanwhile, the person I should’ve asked had been up front and center the entire time and was aware of the situation the entire time, as my MoH was extremely rude and disrespectful to her, so she told me what happened. With that being said and many talks with my Moh, and the same outcome, when I told my friend (was a BM) what had happened, I asked her if she would be my MOH. She understood exactly why I chose the other one first and did not feel slighted. She felt honored as well and I’ll tell ya, thank god for her on the day of and everything leading up to it, as well as afterwards. She is already married and totally understood the stresses of wedding planning, not to mention just a great friend and person. After she and I had our discussion, everything felt right and fell into place.

Wow... this MOH falling out issue seems common 😔

State that she is supportive and you need the support for your special day. Ask her if you can make her a MOH also provide a nice token of appreciation. I recently asked one of my bridesmaid to be my MOH weeks after I asked her to be my bridesmaid. I informed her that her love and support made me want her in a closer role.

And this is why I’m asking my sister.. she has no choice but to say yes lol. I have 3 bffs and I’m sure one of them expects to be my maid of honor. But Nop, my sister will take that role 😍😍

Since you don't need a moh and if you have one she really doesn't do anything different than a bridesmaid, just let it go and don't make things messy. What would happen if your (original) moh and you made up? I'd think that you'd want her by your side again.

I say ask her if you really want her to explain the situation!

She’s going to feel like a second choice because, well...she is. There’s no way around it. Just don’t have a MOH.

Don't replace anyone. As others have said, there is no nice way to "promote" someone. You don't have to have a MOH. Non-traditional bridal parties are totally a thing now. Men standing up next to the bride, women standing on the groom's side, uneven sides, no bridal party at all, etc.

Don't worry how it will look to others. This stuff is becoming very common nowadays.

Agreed with what others have said. You don't "promote" bridesmaids because this is not a job. You don't need to fill the role. Just don't have a MOH, it will be fine.

If you’re worried about her getting offended over being chosen second, maybe you could word it has your “right hand woman” instead of MOH. I think if you explain to her the situation, she’d be more than understanding. At least I would be!

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This exactly. It isn't a job.

View Quoted Comment I’d say it’s not that it’s common - you just don’t see a lot of people making posts bragging on their MOH. But every few months one of will post a “Let’s talk about how great our bridal party is” thread and you’ll see DOZENS of great stories!

I asked my sister to be my matron of honor & asked my other girls to be bridesmaids. I originally didn't want a maid of honor, but after some thinking decided I did and was having a difficult time deciding on which friend because I didn't want anyone to have hurt feelings. I had already asked one girl to be a bridesmaid & I had a falling out with other (who I had not yet asked to be a bridesmaid & later realized obviously would not have been a good pick in the long run). I was hanging out with my friend & I asked "how would you like to be promoted from bridesmaid?" & yes ladies, I realise that it is not a job, but there are some duties that go along with being maid/matron of honor that the other bridesmaids don't do. My friend looked at me confused & was like "...to what?" I told her MOH & she started bawling & yelled "omg are you serious?! Yes!!" & that's when I knew I made the right choice.
If you want a MOH, don't let anyone tell you not to. If you want, explain the situation or just straight up tell her that you don't want her to feel like a second choice. Even if it did make her feel second, her feelings of excitement would more than likely overpower. If she gets upset & feels like "2nd pick" then she wouldn't say yes anyway. Do what makes you happy. Just because you had a falling out with your MOH, it doesnt mean you dont get to have one now lol. That's not how it works. Good luck & I hope everything works out for you!

Have a heart to heart with her. You can explain the situation and say that you really wish you had asked this girl to begin with and if she’d be willing to take on the role.

PP are right, it’s not a job, but I don’t think you were intending to make it sound as such-so I think people need to back off on that.

do you, girl. If you know she’d feel special about it, then ask her! I did with one of my bridesmaids after a falling out with my previous MOH and she was soooo happy.

Good luck!

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What are the other "duties"?

View Quoted Comment What duties?

The only things any member of the wedding party has to do is show up at the wedding in the correct attire, smile for pictures, and get down the aisle. If any one, wedding party member or not, chooses to offer anything thing else, that is a wonderful gift.

View Quoted Comment Not sure why "duties" is in quotations lol. They generally help in planning the bridal shower, bachlorette party, make speech at the wedding, etc. They're the brides right hand woman or go to girl. So yes, a little extra responsibility when it comes to MOH. Not saying ALL women expect their MOHs to do the same or be involved at all, but at that point, then they truly aren't MOH, they're just a bridesmaid.