Bridesmaid Problem

Brittany, thank you...I will do that!

Its just super early to be this frantic and demanding about stuff, honestly. You're over a year out. Its not a big deal if she cant go dress shopping yet or doesnt have time to go to a spa night. If you were 6 months out and she wasnt willing to look at dresses, that'd be a different issue. Just chill.

Sunni, AGAIN...I chose my bridal party already ONLY because it's family! Which isn't going to change, I don't see anything wrong with that and SHE approached me asking if she was a BM which I stated was a given considering the fact we have discussed it for years now.

You really sound like you're looking for people to validate your hurt feelings. :-/ you asked for outside opinions and advice and now you're really defensive about it.

Please take a breather about this. It seems like you're too emotionally charged about this situation. The answer is simple: talk to her.

Ok. Just curious. I didn't go until 5 1/2 months in advance to get my dress. Lol. I changed my mind to much. But my BMs aren't as excited as I am, if y'all are really close then I would just have the hard conversation. But really all she "has" to do is get a dress. I ask my girls if they want to be involved in the stuff I do but they aren't required and I don't care if they don't go. Maybe she doesn't know how to tell you she doesn't want/or can't go. So she comes up with stuff. Idk

I don't know how she is, but I know I went on several wedding dress finding excursions as a bm and then more for the bm dresses and it was exhausting and I really didn't need to be there. I don't know her or you, but maybe she knows that she won't be into it simply because she's not into dress shopping and she doesn't want to rain on your parade. Maybe she is thinking it is early to start all of this planning and get togethers and she's wondering how much time she'll have to set aside in the next year and change. Of course you're excited and you want her to be excited too. I would just ask her what's going on with her and go from there. She also might not want to spend her free time with the other girls in your party, who are family and in laws - maybe she is feeling awkward about that. All you can do is make sure everything is OK in her life and go from there. Good luck!

OP we are not talking about how far out your wedding is because we think you chose your bridal party too early. You are entirely missing the point! We are talking about how far out you are because you are going to WEAR these poor people out with your expectations that they attend events! Expecting them to attend a spa party to meet other BMs when you are 1.25 years away from your wedding is frankly ridiculous. They are going to be annoyed when you ask them to attend another event in two months, and another dressing shopping appointment in 3 months, and showers, Bach parties, etc etc. They will be SICK of your wedding by the time it is close. That is the point. Perhaps this girl recognizes that there is more to come and it is just too early for this stuff. Again, NOT related to WHEN you asked her.

Just chill and leave this girl alone or talk to her about things unrelated to your wedding.

Please don't ask her if she still wants to be on your wedding. It's hurtful and unnecessary. I was in a wedding party where the bride "won" one of those makeover things, invited us all, and sure enough, it was a Mary Kay party trying to sell us stuff. They advertise those kinds of things a lot at bridal shows.

You're a long way out from your wedding - Beka's advice is great and making sure you focus on your friendship over the wedding. A wedding is one day, your friendship can be a lifetime.

Emily, I'm not expecting her too. I've already stated that...I've asked about 4 different events, 2 of which were completely unwedding related. It's the fact that I've caught her in 2 lies, if she can't be honest with me then why would I want her to be a part of my wedding? I don't expect any of my BM to come with me, they all WANT to be there actually! I never really "invited" them, my MOH and FSIL's planned a lot of my dress dates for me. I never asked them to do that, they took it upon themselves because they are all excited about it. My FH and I have been together 5 years and for the past 3 years all our friends and family have been dying for us to get married. Everyone was just as excited as we were about getting engaged. At first she was completely into it and sending me pictures of dresses she liked then BOOM out of no where she doesn't seem interested anymore. I don't talk about the wedding like y'all think I do, we usually don't even discuss it. I invited her to be nice and to get her out of the house since she complains about not getting to do much.

Rebecca, it's nothing makeup related. It's a local shop that is offering this spa night. And no, not everyone who entered won. It was a prize package, this isn't the type of business like MaryK where they annoy the crap out of you to buy things. This shop is just getting started and needed their word out so they sit up at the show (local bridal expo in small town) not the pink bride or anything BIG...small show, local shops, maybe around 200 girls showed up.

Miranda, thank you so much for your kind words! I know that I'm probably looking into it too much. I was mainly upset that I was lied to, TWICE. The whole time we've been friends, I've never caught her in a lie. I don't understand what's happened/changed? I've mentioned wedding stuff to her maybe a total of 5 times throughout MANY conversations we've had, nothing was a problem until I tried to invite her to things and she had excuses. She doesn't have an issues with any of the other BM because she went to school with one of them and church with the other two, years ago but just knew of them...so I know that it's an issue.

If she doesn't buy the dress in time then and only then should you be concerned.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. This is exactly why I'm so hesitant to ask certain friends I've had for years! I'm only planning on 4 and even then may only end up with 2. And one is an amazing woman I've known ever since my fiancé and I have been together and the other I just met last year working with her on a clothing line. They are the only women in my life showing interest. I've been a bridesmaid myself in only 2 weddings and I can tell you I helped out a lot and felt used. But, for your friend to not show interest is heartbreaking. I think the best way to approach her is by having a little meeting. Maybe see if she would like to spend some time alone with you planning. Once she's showed no interest then I'd probably just let her be. Got my fingers crossed for positive support from those who are showing you the love you deserve. And congrats btw