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Tory
Devoted May 2022

Bridesmaid order

Tory, on February 19, 2021 at 8:52 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 27

Hey everyone so I am in a bit of a dilemma right now between picking my bridesmaid order. I picked out my MOH & I’ve already asked everyone that I wanted to be a bridesmaid, and there were a lot of people that were upset that they weren’t picked to be my MOH. I have 6 bridesmaids total and the...
Hey everyone so I am in a bit of a dilemma right now between picking my bridesmaid order. I picked out my MOH & I’ve already asked everyone that I wanted to be a bridesmaid, and there were a lot of people that were upset that they weren’t picked to be my MOH. I have 6 bridesmaids total and the easiest way to explain it is that I am best friends with 4 of them, and it’s almost impossible trying to pick an order for them to walk down the aisle since each friendship is so different but all are just as important to me. I feel like most people don’t have this problem but I just surround myself with very close bonds and friendships and it’s hard for me to decide how to place them now, especially when they were already hurt about not being my MOH. Do any of you have experience with this sort of dilemma or have any way to pick an order without hurting peoples feelings? (I cannot do it by how long I’ve known them, because that would place some of my bridesmaids I’m less close to at 2nd or 3rd with my best friends at the end). I’d really appreciate some input or advice if you have any.
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27 Comments

  • A
    Super December 2020
    Anais ·
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    Same here!
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  • L'brisha
    Savvy March 2022
    L'brisha ·
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    So I made the decision to not have a MOH because of the thought of this situation. I have my future sister-in-law, who I've grown incredibly close with, two of my best friends (one of 17 years and one of 8 years), and a old co-worker who I've grown incredibly close with as well. They all have different personalities and they all would have different views on things that I would love to do. So to avoid me having to choose and have the responsibility pinned on one person, I told them that I wanted all of them to just be bridesmaids and all contribute ideas on what should go on for Bachelorette Night. All of them were absolutely fine with that and formed a group chat to communicate and get to know each other. They also have been discussing and agreeing on dresses, jewelry color, shoe color, etc. Honestly, I found this to be the most stress-free and best decision because everyone has a "say so" and no one is "in charge".

    But since you are already in this boat, I would just say (not to sound selfish), this is YOUR wedding and you should put them in whatever order that you please. Your real friends will just be happy for you and be happy to be a part of your big day. The order should not define how much more important one bridesmaid is than the other. I do agree with the ideal ordering in the other comments: shortest to tallest would definitely look a little more uniformed (that's actually what I'm doing too). Hope all goes well for you on your big day!

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  • Tory
    Devoted May 2022
    Tory ·
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    Thank you so much! I’m glad I’m not the only one that really stressed over this problem, and you definitely made the right choice by not picking one. I picked my MOH but also said that I still wanted everyone to be involved in planning and am still giving them the option to give speeches either at the rehearsal dinner or at the wedding so no one feels like they’re any less important like you said. It’s definitely a dilemma I never considered until I got engaged but I more than likely will take everyone’s advice and base the order on something that isn’t determined by me
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  • K
    Savvy September 2021
    Katie ·
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    I'm doing mine in the order I met them! It's nothing personal that way, just how long I've known them. FH didn't care about the order for his groomsmen, so I matched them by height order with the maids.

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  • S
    Expert November 2021
    Sara ·
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    I agree with the PPs who suggested to do it by height order

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  • Jennifer
    Dedicated July 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    I'm doing mine by dress type, I had my girls pick out their own styles and it ended up being that there's similarities in the dresses. So I'm going to have it starting from my MOH go "sleeves", high neck, "sleeves", high neck to kind of make a pattern there. That way the relationship with each of them didn't decide the order.

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  • Tory
    Devoted May 2022
    Tory ·
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    I really like this idea! This way everyone’s dress styles are all separated
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