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Tory
Devoted May 2022

Bridesmaid order

Tory, on February 19, 2021 at 8:52 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 27
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Hey everyone so I am in a bit of a dilemma right now between picking my bridesmaid order. I picked out my MOH & I’ve already asked everyone that I wanted to be a bridesmaid, and there were a lot of people that were upset that they weren’t picked to be my MOH. I have 6 bridesmaids total and the easiest way to explain it is that I am best friends with 4 of them, and it’s almost impossible trying to pick an order for them to walk down the aisle since each friendship is so different but all are just as important to me. I feel like most people don’t have this problem but I just surround myself with very close bonds and friendships and it’s hard for me to decide how to place them now, especially when they were already hurt about not being my MOH. Do any of you have experience with this sort of dilemma or have any way to pick an order without hurting peoples feelings? (I cannot do it by how long I’ve known them, because that would place some of my bridesmaids I’m less close to at 2nd or 3rd with my best friends at the end). I’d really appreciate some input or advice if you have any.

27 Comments

Latest activity by Tory, on February 23, 2021 at 12:51 PM
  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    Honestly, I just did it randomly the day of the rehearsal.
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  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
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    I don't think order walking down the aisle has anything to do with order of importance in your life? Is this a common thing - I am assuming people think if they are earlier in the order they are less meaningful to you? Sorry, I've just never heard of this! Tell them to quit creating made-up problems for you, Haha. At the end of the day, if they are really going to pick it apart and analyze it, just go alphabetical.

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  • Tory
    Devoted May 2022
    Tory ·
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    I definitely don’t think it’s by importance but I feel like they for some reason do?? When I asked one of them she made the comment that I was going to be her MOH when she got married, and so she was really hurt but I feel like she’d be even more upset if she wasn’t even right behind my MOH. I was thinking about maybe just basing it off of my FH’s order and who I think would get along best with who, but I’m not sure if that’s a good way to do it or not.
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  • Lisa
    Legend July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    You could put them in order based on something like height, or alphabetically, or age, or how long you've known them, or even have them randomly draw numbers at the rehearsal to determine order!
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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    I would just do it by age honestly. If there's multiples of the same age, then do it alphabetically.

    Honestly they don't have to be in an order, and if they get upset about it, then I'd just talk to them. Let them know that the order in which they walk down the aisle has nothing to do with the importance of their friendships, or in any way ranking them!

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    It is rude to place people according to how clos you are, beyond your initial choice of MOH. Publicly ranking your friends is humiliating to them.
    Pick something with no negative features and random. By height.
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    Alphabetically backwards, toss a coin. Order you met.
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  • Tory
    Devoted May 2022
    Tory ·
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    I don’t consider it based on how close I am to them, but I feel like they do. I will probably stick to doing something completely random though just so no one is upset
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  • E
    Expert September 2022
    EGD ·
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    I would do it by height! It's not something anyone can control, and if asked you can say its based on how it will appear in pictures, having it done by height will make things look more even and pleasing to the eye. Just make sure your groomsman use the same order!

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  • C
    Savvy March 2022
    Connie ·
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    Agreed with PP to do it by height as you can always "reason" that it is for aesthetic purposes. For my bridesmaids, their dresses will be 3 different shades of blue (2 per color) so they'll be walking in from lightest to darkest.

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  • Tory
    Devoted May 2022
    Tory ·
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    That’s a good idea, plus that way they can see better (not having the shortest person at the back where they can’t see anything)
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  • M
    Super June 2021
    Melanie ·
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    I definitely agree with the height suggestion. It will look better in pictures!

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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    You can always just go by height, that way nothing is personal!

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  • Lisa
    Legend July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    Do you recommend that the shortest person be closest to the altar? Or furthest from the altar? I'm considering putting my bridesmaids in order by height, but not sure whether to do tallest to shortest, or shortest to tallest.
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  • Tory
    Devoted May 2022
    Tory ·
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    I would only say shortest to tallest so that way your shorter girls can still see. I feel like it’s hard enough to see when you’re far away from the altar, but especially hard if you have the tallest people blocking them in the front
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  • Tory
    Devoted May 2022
    Tory ·
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    Thank you! I think I’m definitely going to base it off of height
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  • Tory
    Devoted May 2022
    Tory ·
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    I agree. I’ll probably stick to the height suggestion
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  • Tory
    Devoted May 2022
    Tory ·
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    Thank you! I really like this idea
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  • M
    Super June 2021
    Melanie ·
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    I'm doing mine based on my MOH height since she'll be the closest to the altar to hold my bouquet. Since she's the second tallest out of everyone, I have the remaining bridesmaids going from tallest to shortest. If your MOH is mid-height, I think putting the tallest person in the middle and the 2 next tallest on both sides of her/him, and so on would look good as well!

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  • L
    Lady ·
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    I did it by height!

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