Bridesmaid not participating

Well first of all I wouldn't require or expect my bridesmaids to do any of those things and I actually would agree with most brides on here in the case that these expectations are too high. They don't have to go to your venue with you, or to meet each other, or to go dress shopping if they work and can't make it or live very far. I went with one bridesmaid to a bridal expo because she wanted to and my mom worked that Saturday we went. It's also a year and a half away. Most bridesmaids don't do much of anything til later on when it's time to get their own dresses, bridal shower, and bachelorette. To me all these events you listed are optional or completely not necessary like them going to venue to decide on decorations. That should be between you and your FH, anything having to do with the venue. I am planning my own decor I don't want them to know every idea, I want them to be surprised and think it's beautiful the day of.

I agree with everyone else too. My best friend is my MOH and then I have 7 other bridesmaids. My MOH has offered to help and come to any meetings I have, but she's not required to. In my case, I have a wedding planner so there really is no need for any extra help. My FH's sisters are both bridesmaids but they are both under 21 and live in Texas so I am not expecting them to do anything for me. Half of my bridesmaids are actually in other states so I definitely am not expecting anything from them either....I mean if they are able to come to my bachelorette party or bridal shower then that is so awesome and I would be so happy, but I would completely understand if they couldn't. Even if the local bridesmaids were not able to make either event, I would understand. All I need them to do is show up the day of the wedding. The wedding isn't until April 2020, but I did do a group text just to introduce everyone to each other and so my MOH could save their contact info for bachelorette stuff. I will probably update them here and there for when I find my dress, when I want them to find their dresses, or if I just randomly want their opinion on something. But that will probably be rare.

I agree that your expectations are very, very high. I took my two girls (sister and best friend) out for lunch a year out. My sister did come for one dress shopping trip, but she was visiting me at the time. I sent them pictures of bridesmaid dresses I liked; they agreed on one and I ordered and paid for them. I asked them to wear silver shoes, and let them know I’d be paying for their hair and makeup. They organised a hen party (after asking me for dates that worked, and a guest list). And outside of standing next to me on my wedding day, that was it. Decorating your venue is the responsibility of you and your FH. Why do you need them to come to a bridal show with you? And the more people you have dress shopping with you, the more difficult it can be because everyone has an opinion. Don’t drop her as a bridesmaid unless you want a permanent change to your relationship with her.

Luckily for me, I couldn't choose a MOH. I have 6 BM's (4 BFFs and my SIL and niece) in my party.


My fiance and I picked out our venue, we are planning the decor, I picked out the flowers and the colors. My BM get to choose their dress of my color (I'm allowing them to pick the style of choice)... which we are all going in May as a fun day!And honestly, I haven't even asked my SIL yet bc I know she will say yes but she will want very minimal (if anything) to do with anything other than showing up MAYBE the rehearsal). It seems I'm planning most of everything myself with my my venue manager/coordinator. I ask my fiance's opinion but that's about it lol... I'm so lucky because 4 out 6 BM's would sacrifice anything (within reason) to help with EVERYTHING! I'd never ask them to take away from anything that's more important than me to help or attend whatever I feel is important (income, sickness in family, etc). To put it bluntly, I know this is MY day not theirs.. so I'm okay without them if they can't be there. And fortunately for Me, they don't mind wearing yhe dress or color I what I want them to wear, tennis shoes so they don't sink in grass, the flowers I want them to carry, etc. They are just so happy to know they are important enough TO ME that I asked them to be in my bridal party... nothing else matters.

As far as dress shopping.. ty Google for all the styles you allowed me to research lol.. but I want to go shopping by myself and do a surprise showing for my bridal party. That's all! It's not easy.. and ya! It might be fun for you to have everyone involved.. but honestly, I'm just happy to know I'm getting married, this is my day and I can plan it exactly as I want and everyone important to me will be by my side. ❤