Bridesmaid might ruin my wedding - Can I kick her out?? What should I do?

Your FH needs to talk to his sister about her behavior. Not wedding related, but in a concerning manner about her health. You as a friend should do the same. This girl has bigger issues in life than being someone's BM. She is a sister and a friend, you should ask her if she is okay and suggest some ideas how she can seek out some help.

You're not running a company where you can fire people.

You can't kick her out.

I agree with @SuYa - it sounds like she might have a psychological disorder. And that's not at all shitting on people with psychological health issues - I have several. But that type of behavior is representative of some other underlying issue.

It will certainly be worse. If you leave her in she may or may not act out. Kick her out and you will 100% have a problem

As is typically the case, the answer is in the question. OP, you wrote, "She has a history of acting out when she doesn't get her way...". So, based on her behavior, you don't consider her a good or close friend, yet, being fully aware of her history, you still asked her to be your honor attendant. You didn't have to do that, and why you did is a mystery. You say you're concerned about your relationship with his family, but I'm sure the family that were victims to her house trashing and theft would understand why you chose to keep her at arm's length.

As it is, you invited her and she's a BM. That's it.

The bigger issue is why she isn't being seen by a qualified professional.

I agree with Richard. Why you think kicking her out will solve all of your problems is beyond me and pretty asinine. If you kick her out, you will be creating an even bigger problem.

Person with a history of acting out when she doesn't get her way is currently a BM. You want to kick her out and she would presumably still be invited to the wedding. Wouldn't "kicking her out" cause her to act up at the wedding? You should not kick out a member of the wedding party or fire them unless you want to completely destroy the friendship. In this case if you kick her out you are almost guaranteeing her causing a scene at the wedding.

I say do whatever your FH says. She's a teenager and you are not her mother. Trust, nobody knows her better than her parents and brother. Ask them what they think you should do and go with that. We dont really know enough about this 19 year old to tell you what would be best for you and her. Hopefully she doesnt throw a fit during your ceremony as a BM or guest

Not to sound rude , I'm wondering if maybe there are reasons outside of her control such as psychological problems causing the issues? Sounds like my cousin when she is in a manic swing

I have the same problem but it is with my sister and she suppose to be my MOH , she went crazy and kicked me and my FH out of my parents house and now she is not talking to us and she didn't apologize yet , my weeding is in three months , I have to get her the MOH dress but she is not talking to me and I am serious I don't want her to be my MOH any more , so I have to find another one plus I don't want to invite her even as a guest , please advice

Is she mentally ill?? She sounds like she needs a work-up.

Why kick her out and risk her trashing the wedding?! Just suck it up in this case.

Don't kick her out, just stop involving her. She only needs to show up on the wedding day in the dress you picked.

Gone on a shopping spree with other people's money....as in she stole the money?

I definitely don't think kicking her out is a good idea as you are giving her ammunition to act out.

I also advise you to make sure your card box has a lock on it before she "revenge shops" with your wedding gifts.

@Susan G.- for advice, see pretty much all the answers on this thread.

If she won't order her dress though, that might solve your problem!

I think doing anything now could possibly make it worse.... and increase the likelihood of her having a tantrum... maybe enlist some support for the day to help keep her in line and if she steps out of line have them handle it outside away from everyone else.

Have you considered that maybe something has happened in her life that's causing her to act out? Trauma often causes people to lash out. You're marrying her brother, you can't just kick her out. I'd sit down with her & try to get to the bottom of it.

@SusanG. - she's your sister, for life. You can't just kick her out & asking someone to take her place is rude. ETA - words