Bridesmaid leaving early to go to another wedding

I'm honestly pretty shocked by most of these responses...I would be pretty hurt if one of my bridesmaids left early to attend another wedding, regardless of the reason. I wouldn't give her an ultimatum, but I'd sit down and have an honest talk with her and tell her how you feel. I personally think that when you agree to be a bridesmaid in someone's wedding, you commit to being there the whole day.

I would be upset and ask her to come as a guest. I go pretty easy on bridesmaids, but staying for the entire wedding seems like the minimum requirement for a bridesmaid

I would wait and see how this begins to play out as it gets a little bit closer to the wedding. If she was truly invited only as the “plus one,” she likely won’t even be invited to the other wedding, and even if she is, this sounds like it would be a logistic nightmare since the other wedding is so far away.

I think both your options are valid. I would be hurt if this happened to me and she needs to pick which works best for the both of you. I would tell her she needs to choose and she can’t just leave you on your big day!

I get you. Honestly I feel it would be incredibly disrespectful for a bridesmaid to leave the wedding early just to make another one. And it isn't like this is a close family members's or close friend's wedding. She should have made a choice on which event she can attend.

I’d be upset too but I wouldn’t kick her out of the wedding. Have you checked in on her since her breakup? I know it’s exciting to talk about the wedding but remember friendship is a 2 way street. It sounds like she isn’t over her ex and is trying to go to that wedding to attempt to get back with him. I’d check in on her first and go from there

I agree with a lot of the previous comments, however the only thing I can add for your own thought process is this: It is YOUR wedding. So, if there is a decision that will make you feel most comfortable and happiest on your wedding day, I say do that. Maybe that means giving her the benefit of the doubt and not saying anything. Maybe that means telling her not to come at all. It's up to you. But try to imagine yourself on your big day. You don't want to have to even think or worry about this, because your wedding is not about any of that. So make the decision that you feel will allow you to completely forget about it all and just be present to your wedding and celebration. Which decision would make you feel most comfortable? Which decision won't have you thinking about it, wondering how someone is feeling, asking if someone will be mad etc. Whatever that decision is, I'd say go with that Best of luck to you and congrats!

View Quoted Comment Honestly I agree 100% with this point. Especially since it seems like this is a recent break up. I know it would suck because she already RSVP’d and you’d hate to not show up after RSVP’ing. But if I was a plus one for an ex I would rather stay at my friends wedding as her bridesmaid. I would definitely urge her not to go.

I would be really upset by this. Committing to being a bridesmaid means committing to staying for the day. I’m not sure why people are saying this is ok - she should have talked to you immediately and offered to back out when she found out about the other wedding.