Bridesmaid Issues.

I have had many bridesmaids problems too): It stinks. I don't really have a MOH now.

Just makes me realize somethings as well.. I just can't wait for my wedding..I just have to muddle through the drama of it all

You are assuming too much. The only thing bridesmaids are really responsible for is buying their dress and showing up at the appropriate times the day of the ceremony.

Showers, bachelorette parteis, etc are all extra things that some people do- but the expectation shouldn't be there.

No one will care about your wedding as much as you do. And they have their own lives to take care as well. There are a few things they will help with- but I do think you are expecting too much.

I kind of agree with Meghan. And if you want them to do something, just ask them.

Trust me things have been brought to their attention many times..

I'm not saying they are terrible..or I am expecting too much. But I have known these girls FOREVER they are like sisters..and I just wanted more support. They are like tooth and nail to get ahold of.. Trust me I know they have their own lives so do I..Just wanted more of a support system.

This is a very hard topic. We decided to not go with a wedding party at all, for several reasons. One, we are on a budget and it makes things a lot easier. Two, we are a little older so it is impossible to ask the "right" people. We would either offend people we aren't as close to b/c we were in their weddings when we in our 20's. Or we could ask them and not have any help b/c of geography. Or we could have 6 on each side, to me that is too many.

Traditionally you are right. Your MOH is supposed to do the bach party, shower, coordinate your bridesmaids, etc…however, that doesn't happen much anymore. Especially in this economy.

These are your "sisters" and you have known them forever, so you should know how they are at this stage of life. Go to them and talk to them very frankly. Figure out what they are willing to do and let go of the rest. Otherwise you might lose a friendship that you cherish.

Sorry you feel so isolated—no bueno! Good luck getting over this hump!

Thank you that was very helpful and I totally agree with you!

I have been slowly trying to let things go/slide.. I realize most the time people do things un-intentionally. My main focus is marrying the best guy I could ever ask for. He is and always will be the main focus..just need to let the rest slide.

Good for you! That is really the best way to be. Have those few things that you are determined to go right, focus on them. The rest is gravy, right? And you are so right about it being unintentional. No one knows how important a wedding is until they are planning one for themselves.

Best advice I have heard: All you HAVE to do on your big day is GET MARRIED!

Totally agree @ rock-n-roll bride!!! We are on the same wave length

I have to agree with Meghan on this one. You asked your BMs to be in the wedding because they are the people you wanted to stand by your side when you said your vows. All they are required to do is the buy the dress you picked out and then stand up for you at the wedding.

I understand that it's frustrating to not have your best friends as involved as you think they should be. Who knows - maybe they are planning a surprise shower or bachelorette party for you! Just remember that they are your friends and that alone is the reason you asked them to stand up with you. I'm glad that your mom has been such a big help to you!

People don't understand this is a form of being committed. When you ask someone to be part of your special day they should enhance you not drain you. Those I choose to represent me did nothing. My daughter and I did everything or at least 95% of everything. People get caught up in the excitement of planning their wedding. Step back and make sure these are the people you want representing you. If I could go back and do it again I would do it differently.

Yes i have but she was my sil and my moh and her, my brother, and my son were all booted from the wedding for causing family issues...

I only chose 4 bridesmaids. Best friend was my MOH. My sister and FH's sister, and then FH's best friend. My maid of honor disappeared for three months and then told me she was done jumping through hoops (we'd been friends for 8 years prior to this, and all I asked of her was to buy a dress - an 80 dollar dress - and show up on a certain day wearing said dress, showered). FH's best friend doesn't have a car and wanted me to drive her to my shower in the car that FH and I share (a hatchback that didn't even fit my presents - i had to make two trips - 45 mins one way for each trip) and then wanted a ride to the wedding as well (from the bride and groom, mind you). I haven't talked to her since my sister took over as the MOH and planned said shower, in which she asked the other two bridesmaids for some money to help throw the shower (a minute amount, I'm sure), and the FH's BFF gave her a check that bounced. She makes 3x what she spends a month. I haven't spoken to her since.

I had many problems as well. Just make sure you stay on top of them. Or make changes in your party.

@ Ally I'm so sorry to hear how it turned out for you

Brittainy K.- Mine were pretty much the same way, my matron of honor only talked to me like 12 times the whole year i was planning the wedding, my maid of honor was pretty involved, and my other four girls, one never made it to atleast one group function...one excuse after another...one acted like such a fool everyone else disliked her, and the other two were very helpful at the end when it mattered most, but it was nervewraking that they werent as involved as i always imagined weddings to be...

I thought they were sopposed to help more too, that's how I have always seen it.. but not in my case. I've been asking for my 2 BMs to have dinner for 2 weeks now.. And my MOH is my sister who told me she can't come to the shower unless her husband can get off work and come too.. and she's been emailing and helping somewhat but I get these back "I don't like any of the 5 dresses you picked, I like this one and my hubby like this one" .. and 2 BMs have no job and the other is remodeling her house.. so I am paying for their dresses and they recieve no presents. FH hasnt really asked any of his guys except my brother.. soooooo GR! I've thought about not having a wedding party at all, because I am tired of all the drama.

@ Amanda W Wow that's just terrible. And about your shower no men are supposed to come. I've made that very known to any of my girls that have mentioned it to me. Just remember through all the drama..You are marrying the man you love..the rest of the drama just have to let it go. I've been learning that and trying to brush it all off.

I asked my girls and you know I wouldn't have minded them being more involved but I understood too that they had a lot of stuff going on too. And like someone said above your wedding is that no one will care about your wedding like you do. And that is so true. I planned most of my wedding myself and I didn't really mind. I asked the people I did to be a part of my day because they were my friends or family because I wanted them there along side of me to support me. And I wouldn't change a thing.

Britt: Were doing a couples wedding shower (it's Luau themed very laid back casual) and dinner with our families afterwords about a month before the wedding. FH made a comment "well if she gets a lingerie party, I want a underwear party" and boy did my GRANDMA and his aunt plan something up for our families and close friends after the dinner that night. She has made him some whitey tighties with pink lace sowen on them.. and he jokes about wearing a speedo and hawaiian shirt for our wedding (which is on the beach).. so she got him one of those too. His family and my family are in on it and are making him all kinds of crazy underwear, he'll prob wish he hadn't said anything. )

Were doing our bach parties the weekend before the wedding which are girls only for mine. I have no clue what the boys are doing & don't care. He asked to go to Vegas and I told him hell noooooo after The Hangover because thats whatd it'd be like.

I know, totally not traditional but we don't care. )