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Amanda
VIP December 2020

Bridesmaid Issues 18 Days Out

Amanda, on November 24, 2020 at 10:06 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 20
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Hey y’all I need Advice.


I recently had one of my bridal party members let me know due to financial issues and work schedule she can not longer be a part of our wedding. The only way I found out that she was not planning on attending was because I asked how her new job was going and she brought all this to my attention. She was LITERALLY not going to tell me until wedding week. This made me text all of my bridesmaids and ask them all if they were still planning on attending. That’s when I found out that yet another one is having financial issues and cannot afford a hotel room and was going to also tell me wedding week about this issue. Long story short, she will be staying with me in my bridal suite with another Bridesmaid who is staying with me now also.
This brings me to my biggest issue. I have one bridal party member who never answered my text, and it’s been 4 days. She does not answer my calls and has not responded to texts. I’m on the edge and unsure what to do. She has been hit or miss for the last couple of years but it feels rude to me that she is not acknowledging me when I’m asking a simple question and so close to our wedding day that she is supposed to be a part of.
Do y’all think I’m being unfair at this point by giving her until Friday for a response? If she has not responded to me by then, I plan on sending her a text that basically says her lack of response or communication is how I’m taking her resignation from the wedding.

20 Comments

Latest activity by Sexypoodle, on November 26, 2020 at 5:17 AM
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    I dont see anything wrong with your plan by having a deadline for important communication
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    Thst is super crazy that multiple bridesmaids had planned to wait until the wedding week to let you know
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    VIP December 2020
    Amanda ·
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    Right?! That is why I started asking people directly. I would not have found out if I had not asked. at this point, I wish I could just go without a bridal party to be honest. This is additional stress on top of Covid stress that I just don’t need right now.
    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
    • Flag
    I don't think you're being unfair at all, though I would still try to get in contact with her daily between now and Friday. Call, text, email, etc. Otherwise, do you know of someone who can also try to contact her to find out what's going on? I would let her know that you're concerned about her lack of response, and ask if everything is OK. Tell her that for planning purposes, you need to know where she stands by Friday, and that if there are any issues or concerns on her end, ask her to let you know ASAP so you can help work towards a solution.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    I feel ya! My FH and I opted out of having a wedding party. So glad we did now with COVID and so many are hurting financially due to the pandemic.
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    VIP December 2020
    Amanda ·
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    That’s a great way to word my concerns. Thank you!
    • Reply
  • Shelly
    Rockstar January 2022
    Shelly ·
    • Flag

    That's not very considerate of them to plan on waiting till wedding week to discuss this with you. Especially since they should know that this puts added stress onto you on top of wedding planning!

    I don't think you're request is unnecessary or rude. If two members of the bridal party have already expressed their concerns then it's justified that you would feel nervous that the next one would as well. Maybe they aren't responding because they're nervous to have that talk with you, or embarrassed even? Is there a way that the other members of the bridal party can get in touch with her? Like: "Hey you've been really distant and unresponsive lately, please respond to Amanda so she will know how to handle everyone's situation."

    I also want to add that it was very sweet of you to let two of them share your bridal suite with you!

    • Reply
  • Chrysta
    Rockstar November 2022
    Chrysta Online ·
    • Flag
    A Friday deadline doesn’t sound unreasonable to me, especially this close to the wedding! I would reach out via text AND phone call (which will likely result in you leaving a voicemail from the sounds of it) just letting her know that you will need a definitive answer by Friday. Leaving messages via both methods will prevent her from saying she didn’t get it. And, to be honest, I would probably Facebook message her as well, just to prevent the “I was having phone issues” excuse (or in case she actually IS having phone issues). I would word the messages very nicely, letting her know you very much still want her to be in the wedding, but for planning purposes you need to know by Friday; if you sound frustrated with her in the messages I think she’s more likely to just not respond or decide not to be in the wedding. Good luck girl, I hope it all works out!
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Super August 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    There is absolutely nothing wrong with giving her a deadline especially since she hasn't been good about responding for years. 95% of people have their phone glued to them all the time and the phone is on. People won't respond to the text or calls but you will see them all over social media.
    • Reply
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    I agree with Lisa!

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  • Yvette
    Savvy July 2021
    Yvette ·
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    I don't have any advice, but here are some hugs for you (((hugs)))

    tenor.gif


    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    I agree i don't think you're being unfair by giving her til friday to respond - you're literally so close to the date and so it's better to find out now than later.

    • Reply
  • Soon2Bemarried
    Dedicated October 2022
    Soon2Bemarried ·
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    Chrysta’s spot on.
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    VIP December 2020
    Amanda ·
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    This. I agree with all of it aside from social media as I do not have any forms of social media, well Instagram but she is hardly ever on that outlet. I’ll call her this week but I did send another text explaining that I am here for her if she needs anything and that I hope everything is ok.
    • Reply
  • Victoria
    Just Said Yes December 2020
    Victoria ·
    • Flag
    I had the exact same thing happen to me last week except instead of bridesmaid it was a photographer! I replaced her & sent her a text informing her. If I was you, since it is a bridesmaid, I would keep calling her & if you still get no response by Friday then I think it’s completely understandable to take her out of the wedding. You need as less stress as possible on your wedding day!
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    VIP December 2020
    Amanda ·
    • Flag
    I am concerned about your lack of response, is everything ok? I reached out to everyone as ****** is no longer able to come and she wasn’t going to tell me until last minute. I’m just trying to make sure we know who is coming for several reasons including the money we are putting down this week for final payments. For planning purposes, I need to know where you stand by Friday, and if there are any issues or concerns on your end, please let me know ASAP so we can work towards a solution and if you just cannot attend due to outside circumstances please tell me. I will not be offended or upset at all, I just want to figure this all out soon.


    This is what I sent her on Instagram and via text. Instagram said she was active today so I’m assuming that means her phone is working, I do not know any other way to access Instagram.
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    VIP December 2020
    Amanda ·
    • Flag
    YALL UPDATE


    She finally responded to me on Instagram. She claims she lost her phone and that’s why she has not been texting me back. She told me she has been avoiding telling me about her Covid concerns for MONTHS. She literally said she was planning and waiting to make the decision WEDDING DAY.
    We had a nice discussion and I told her that we would still be friends and no feelings hurt I totally understand the situation. She is now out of the bridal party. Which made my bridal party equal as my FH lost a groomsman anyway.
    BUT y’all....she was planning on GHOSTING my wedding. I cannot....there is NOT enough wine.
    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Rockstar October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    I cannot believe how rude some people are! Wedding week and wedding day?! That is ridiculous! You might want to reevaluate your friends. I am glad all of this has been figured out for you so you don't have to stress anymore.

    • Reply
  • Victoria
    Devoted June 2021
    Victoria ·
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    Or jeez! I am so sorry to hear about that, but I am glad that she gave you an answer! I hope things continue to go well for the rest of your time and enjoy your wedding day! You're so close to December!!!

    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    Unfortunately I have no advice. I guess it’s because bridesmaid posts like this always surprise me and make me question the true depth of the friendship pre-wedding. Just something to think about. True friends don’t behave that way and these posts make me extremely thankful for my close circle friends. Sorry that’s happening and either way, it will all work out.
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