Hello,
I'm in need of some advice. I will be having my destination wedding in June. It has been planned since January 2017. I confirmed with all of our most important people that the travel would be possible. As time went on, we received many complaints about it being too expensive. When I planned it, I suggested people save $50 per pay check. In my eyes, it's a great vacation for us all and all inclusive. I understood if people couldn't make it. Well as time progressed, my bridesmaids held off on getting a bridesmaids dresses that we chose for $179 each. I understood that it was expensive in addition to what they were saving. So I found a dress for $20 online. I wanted to purchase it for them, but didn't get responses when I asked for sizes. If I talked about anything other that the wedding with them I got responses. We used a chat that showed me who received my messages and also who read them. I started noticing that my bridesmaids wouldn't respond. Only my maid of honors would. I brushed it off even though I hated being ignored. My MOH tried to hint to me that there were communication issues amongst her and the bridesmaids because they wouldn't respond to her either. She didn't want to go into detail. But it seems when they did respond it made her question their friendship to me.
In January one of my BM text me saying she's not sure someone will be able to watch her child....I'm a mom as well. It sounded like an excuse to me because this wedding has been planned for a year now with 5 more months to go at the time. I told her not to even stress. It's ok.
Another BM never booked through my agent or even had the funds saved and it's 3 months before the wedding. She says she will try to make it. My other BM was scheduled and deposit through my agent. I feel like a burden to them. They don't ask if I need help with the wedding. They don't respond. My MOH must be trying to plan an event for me and they don't respond or show any interest. In our group chat, I asked how they were doing. One of my MOH responds of course. But No one else did. I can see one of my BM read my message. So then I expressed how stressed I was and felt as if I was a burden. I feel like no one is interested. It's 3 months before and no BM has their dress. They waited long to order it so we are still waiting. I said ignoring me means you have very little interest in me and this big moment of my life. I understand they have their own life. Before all of this and during I've been a good friend. I just don't feel the happiness from them. I told them I didn't want them to feel obligated especially if they didn't have time to participate or even have the funds. The same BM read my message and still didn't respond. So I separately let her know I see what she is doing. She said she didn't read it; she viewed it..... so I told her the invitation still stands, but you don't have to participate. Next day I received an updated report from my travel agent and the BM cancelled her room arrangements. She saw my message and didn't even speak to me about the room. I believe she cancelled prior to my message according to my agent. I was so upset and hurt. I reached out to that BM and She said she cancelled it because she couldn't afford it and would try staying at another hotel. I told her I wish she would have talked to me first I would have covered $100. Which made me question if this was true because she paid $900 and still had 2 weeks left to pay it off. She told me she read the message and didn't know what I was stressed about. That made me more upset. Why not ask how can I help you instead? I had plans to take everyone on a cruise while on the island. Also, If she stays at another hotel she'll have to pay $125 day pass to get in my hotel. I also planned on having rehearsal the night before which means she won't be there for that either.
Is it me being one sided on this matter? Am I wrong for feeling as though my BM aren't truly my friends.
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