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Dedicated July 2020

Bridesmaid issue

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Kristina, on June 11, 2020 at 1:45 AM

I need some advice. I have been having an issue with one one my bridesmaids. We went bridesmaids dress shopping back in February before Covid and they all tried on dresses. My sister and my friend bought there’s like months ago but somehow she still hasn’t. My wedding is in 36 days and I’ve asked several times these past 3 months if she’s bought her dress and she has always said no. I asked her again the other day if she was getting her dress and she told me yes and some church ladies were going to alter her dress. But is she really getting her dress? She’s always had money issues but this time she has had a steady job and still hasn’t got her dress. Was she waiting for me to pay for it, I wasn’t going too. Now I’m concerned that there will be issues before the wedding and on the wedding day. At this point I feel like I need to tell her that if she hasn’t bought her dress, she’s no longer in the wedding. I hate conflict even though I can speak my mind, I just don’t want to lose her as a friend but I also don’t want her to ruin my wedding day. I’m already stressed out enough. What should I do?

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24 Comments

Expert July 2022
Elmarose · on June 12, 2020 at 7:13 PM
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Hello Kristina, First off congratulations! and I totally agree with Leanne! wonderful advice. You are the bride and your bridal party should be helping you relieve troubles rather than adding to them. The best thing to do is to set a date where all bridesmaids must have their dress and if she doesn't have one by then you did the best you could do and she should not be offended to come just as a guest. I hope this resolves calmly and well for you
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Super March 2021
Kimberly · on June 12, 2020 at 8:30 PM
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I’m sorry but there is already a deadline to have the dress by. It’s the wedding day. I get that you are stressed because she hasn’t done what you expected of her, but unless you have offered to buy the dresses yourself you can’t really demand anything more than her having the dress the day of. You’ve asked about it and she’s given you an answer, you have to trust she will come through. And be prepared to have her attend as a guest if she doesn’t have the dress by the day of.
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Savvy October 2020
Karen · on June 12, 2020 at 9:12 PM
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Well said!
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Savvy October 2020
Karen · on June 12, 2020 at 9:34 PM
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Hi Kristina,
Instead of stressing about it, make a decision on how you will handle it, and stick to it. If you keep asking her, and she keeps saying no. Have it occurred to you, she may not want to be in your wedding? She just doesn't know how to say it, praying you take a hint.
There is nothing wrong with letting her know that this is causing you an undue amount of stress, and at this point, you would prefer for her to attend your wedding, rather than participate in it. Something else you can say, in lieu of what is going on with COVID, you are downsizing your wedding, and since you haven't bought your bridesmaid dress as yet, no need to buy it. However, I would still love for you to attend. If she chooses not to attend, her loss. Then don't give it a second thought.
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