Bridesmaid is ignoring me :(

Do not listen to Marlene

@Brittany H. and @lauren2704. I'm dealing with the same issue. Sent multiple texts and tried calling with no response. And I've come up with the conclusion that maybe her life is too busy to commit to being a Bridesmaid right now and I'm planning on asking her to step down. We have scheduled over 4 dress appts that she said she would make and NEVER ATTENDED ONE. It's always an excuse or no response. But then I see her all on social media. So I said I'm not stressing on one individual and I can just let her step down and be a guest instead since that's the way she is presenting. It's an honor to be one's bridesmaids and each individual should cherish that honor from their bride.

I have the same situation, bridesmaid is ignoring me and didn't even go with us to pick out their dresses. I know she's a little busy traveling but I know she's seen my messages and is always on social media, she won't even respond to my other bridesmaids.

Don't listen to Marlene.

No, Marlene...you did not suggest that she "figure out the underlying reason", blah, blah, blah. You hit the ground running with your advice; in fact, your first sentence was, "Ummm I would send her a text stating that she is no longer in the bridal party." Do you want her to lose this friend, because that's all your "I'm your boss" attitude will garner her. You supported that declaration with this, "Bridesmaids sign up for certain duties, its like an at will employment. You can discharge her of her duties." That's grotesque. At will employment requires something brides don't dispense -- which is a paycheck and health benefits. Is that what you're offering your "employees"? Doubt it. That's a really sorry analogy.

BMs do not sign up for "certain duties". They agree to buy a dress and show up on the wedding day and agree to pose for countless pictures with the bride, but there's no dynamic that even hints at "at will employment". Do you even know what "at will employment" is? It doesn't sound like it. What the hell are BMs signing up for, in your book? Making centerpieces, setting up the reception venue, hanging around after the party to clean up the wedding mess, or whatever else the bride wasn't willing to pay a professional to do?

OP, Marlene's advice is absurd -- completely, totally, and ridiculously absurd. Ignore it, unless you want your friend -- your peer, your equal, a woman you love -- to walk away from your wedding and never speak to you again. This is the way it goes -- some brides are fortunate enough to maintain a decades long relationship with their honor attendants. More often than not, your paths go in divergent directions, and 20 years from now, you'll look at your wedding photos and wonder whatever happened to BM #1, BM #3, and BM #4. That doesn't mean they should have been discharged. It's called life, and it happens to everyone.

Marlene, you need a reality check.

I am in the same boat.... my bridesmaid and I have been friends for 13 years she is having issues with her family I do know that but usually I am the person she reaches out to.... but I have reached out, called, texted, went to her home, Facebook her and nothing back. At this point I am in shock but clearly something is wrong and I can't figure it out. Anyway could go into way more detail. But just saw your post and I know how your feeling! Make all the efforts in any kind of communication to talk to her and when you have done all those you know you tried on your end. Good luck!

Sounds like she isn't quite as all in for her bridesmaids duties as she might have originally implied. Give her a point blank choice. If she isn't going to be more communicative she doesn't need to a bridesmaid. I had a similar issue early on and after talking to my friend she made clear she simply couldn't afford to be my bridesmaid. Looking back we both agreed she should have just told me that vs creating an unnecessary distance between us. She still wasn't able to be in my bridal party but she's still been my go to for venting/girl talk/ wedding planning details etc. your friend may very simply not able to be a bridesmaid and doesn't know how to tell you. Be patient. Set a coffee date. Make clear the topic of discussion prior and have a face to face. This could be something so small it's laughable. Sounds like some air needs to be cleared between you two. If there's still ample time till the big day don't stress it too much. You guys have plenty of time if that's the case

Sounds like maybe she's jealous !! However I have someone in my wedding party that seriously never talks to me and it's really annoying . She's grooms family so I'm really annoyed . She's not excited , she doesn't participate in group convos , and never responds to me unless I text her "did you get my text" "yes" I hear you girl.

She did buy the dress and came with us to go dress shopping and she seemed very excited about being in it and was very happy i asked her. She definitely would have told me if she wasnt interested. I sent her a message yesterday just letting her know i was here if she needed anything. I just dont know what to do. It concerns me that if she doesnt talk to me around a very important time,in my,life then will she still,talk to me when the weddings over? She doesnt live near me so going to her house is definitely out of the question. Just hope she comes around because not only am i sad about it but i am also annoyed. I understand people are busy but it takes literally a second to reply and its not like im looking for a response right away....it has been months.