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Emily
Dedicated August 2020

Bridesmaid in a wedding - how much do i spend on gift?

Emily, on December 18, 2019 at 12:06 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 32

TL/DR: What is an appropriate dollar amount that I could get away with for a check as a bridesmaid with a plus one? I’m a bridesmaid for a friend’s wedding and I have a plus one. I’ve heard the average gift is 100$ per person, but I’m also getting married next year (she’s in my wedding too) and just...
TL/DR: What is an appropriate dollar amount that I could get away with for a check as a bridesmaid with a plus one?


I’m a bridesmaid for a friend’s wedding and I have a plus one. I’ve heard the average gift is 100$ per person, but I’m also getting married next year (she’s in my wedding too) and just bought a house and don’t know if I really can spend 200$ right now. My friend did not give me an engagement party gift (not that it’s about keeping score). Is it okay for me to spend less? All of her big ticket items on her registry have been purchased too. I’m also paying for my makeup, my dress, bachelorette party expenses and a bridal shower gift. What is an appropriate dollar amount that I could get away with for a check as a bridesmaid with a plus one?

32 Comments

  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    I don't recall expecting my BMs or MOH to give a gift. Their gift to me was being part of my wedding!

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  • Emily
    Dedicated August 2020
    Emily ·
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    Wow - extreme's indeed!!! Thank you for sharing that, it definitely helps to see what other people have given and received.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    Of course! I personally wouldn't be able to not give a gift, I'd feel super weird. I typically start saving the minute I'm asked to be a bridesmaid so I can overgift because that's just what I like to do. We had one groomsmen give us $500 after he flew to CO for our wedding and CA for the bachelor party (he lives in Virginia) and several groomsmen gift nothing. Both are totally fine! I actually love letters from friends more than physical gifts so sweet things like that were way more meaningful than spending money on our registry (not that we were mad when people bought us nice things hahaha)! As long as you are a supportive & happy bridesmaid, I am sure the bride will be happier than ever!

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    I think $100 seems reasonable given all the money you’re already spending!
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  • Michaela
    Just Said Yes May 2020
    Michaela ·
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    Yeah i don't expect a gift from my BM or MOH. They are doing the bridal shower and all the things that come with it. I'm grateful that they want to help out. They are getting thier own dresses, hair and makeup because i cant afford to pay for them like i would like to and they understand. What i did is every time i do something for the wedding like bridal appointments or making center pieces i would have a gift for them, like tshirts or wine glasses and they were happy with it.

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  • Molly
    Super October 2020
    Molly ·
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    We have done $100 for the both of us. $200 is a lot so I would do what you can.
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Oh you have no idea what some people think lol. I learned a lot. Wait until you see opinions about dry weddings ha ha. I always though if I am a BM and spending money I should not have to give a gift but then I feel like I should. I agree that some feel one way and some feel another. I think many topics depends on personal tastes, the crowd you are surrounded by and how you view weddings.

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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
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    I don't think you should give a gift that is going to put you out financially. It would be irresponsible to give more than you can afford just because you feel some sort of social etiquette demands that you do.

    Give a gift that you feel comfortable with. If you are worried that your monetary gift isn't "enough" be extra generous with your time and helpful to the bride. She will appreciate you helping her stuff envelopes or showing up at her house with a bottle of wine when she's stressed way more than a slightly bigger check.

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  • A
    VIP December 2020
    Amanda ·
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    I am not expecting gifts from my bridal party at all. We are already asking them to go out of town for bachlorette, bridal shower (FMIL hosting in Chicago and we live in DC and all over the place) and wedding. In addition to the dress, make up (we are paying for hair) and other expenses. I would say spend what you're comfortable with and go from there but I would hope your friend would not be expecting big gifts from her bridal party. If you want to get them something nice go for it but don't bust your budget. You sound like a very sweet person and friend for thinking of these things and your willingness to spend on them when you don't even have it for yourself.

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  • Mrs. Bubba
    VIP September 2019
    Mrs. Bubba ·
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    Hello and congratulations!


    As a 👰that was familiar with the financial situations of her Bridal party, I had one that said, “Oh, I didn’t get you a 🎁, what do you want”?
    I replied that her and her daughter’s participation was enough for me.
    I don’t like taking 💵 out of households that need it.
    I just need her to continue to keep her household going so that they won’t need to come and stay with me.
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  • Mrs. Bubba
    VIP September 2019
    Mrs. Bubba ·
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    She even ended up with one of my duplicate 🎁.
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  • Julie
    Dedicated February 2020
    Julie ·
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    I don't expect anything from my bridesmaids! I've even asked them to not get gifts for showers/wedding (not that they listened). I am paying for their hair, makeup, and jewelry, so they only have dress and shoes and then bachelorette expenses for those who are attending at $100 each (my step-mother-in-law paid for the place as a gift).


    Being a bridesmaid is a huge commitment, not only financially, but emotionally. It can be really taxing depending on the bride! I'm just so honored my friends are willing for pay for their outfits and put up with me - that's enough!!! I would be really upset if one of my bridesmaids put herself in a bad financial position.

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