Bridesmaid help

I think this depends on whether they are all wearing the same dress, and whether their dresses have to be ordered. If they are needing to be ordered from a bridal shop, you may have already missed the deadline. It usually takes 3 to 6 months to receive bridesmaids dresses. If they are all ordering from a website, I would check the turnaround times for orders, and set the deadline accordingly. Keep in mind, if they are all wearing the exact same dress or exact same color, many companies encourage you to order them all at the same time so they are all done as a batch. This ensures they are all the same color, as there can be slight variations in color in different batches.
If you are allowing everyone to choose their own dresses, then I would just tell them they need to have their dress in their possession (with any needed alterations completed) at least one week before the wedding.

View Quoted Comment They are ordering from Amazon. I told them that as long as their dresses are all burgundy, they can choose their own style. I was not specific on shoes. I think some are wearing silver and some are wearing black. They are all wanting to do their own hair and makeup and budget. I have messaged one of my girls and she never texts me back at all. I haven’t talked to her in over a month. My sister is also being wishy washy and doesn’t know if she is even coming to the wedding because her and my mom are having a spat. But she was supposed to be comaid of honor. She has not done any of her duties in this 9 month process but heart a few pictures I have sent her of veils and earrings. I’m torn about dropping her because she is my sister and I have looked forward to this day with her for what seems like forever, but I still have to write my vows, plan music, figure out decorations (I’m doing them all myself on a short notice) and everything else. I am just tired of worrying about if they will actually get their attire in time and be able to help me out a little more which was the plan. I also do not want to continue buying gifts if they will not be a part of the bridal party and fulfill all duties.

This is a tough one. I would say by July would be th absolute deadline!

View Quoted Comment Do you think the end of July or the beginning ?

View Quoted Comment Honestly considering they are ordering from Amazon, yesterday should have been the deadline. However I would say July 1st so they order by July 15th and prepare for shipping delays.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. I have let them know July would be absolute deadline. And If they don’t get them by then, how do I let them know they can no longer be in the bridal party but still a guest and can help in another field like decorating or something ??

View Quoted Comment I completely understand your disappointment with the lack of involvement from your bridal party. However, it is important to keep in mind that the bridal party actually doesn’t have any sort of required duties associated with the position. The only thing they are required to do is purchase their dress (if the bride is not paying for them), show up on time and stand next to you on the day of your wedding. That’s it. If they offer to throw pre-wedding parties, help you plan, etc. that’s awesome! But it’s not required. I think the best thing you can do at this point is to adjust your expectations. You chose these people because they are your nearest and dearest, and you couldn’t imagine them not being a part of your big day. Do all your planning on your own or with your spouse, and let the girls know they need to have their dresses in hand and altered one week prior to the wedding. Then stop worrying about it. Either they will have their dresses, or they won’t 🤷🏼‍♀️ If they don’t, they will obviously be attending as a guest. There is nothing you can do to force them to get their dresses, so I would stop wasting your time stressing about it. Give them the deadline and enjoy the rest of your planning process!

View Quoted Comment My advice may come out harsh because I didn’t have bridesmaids for this very reason. But I would say that this day is important to me, as well as the idea of your presence. “For everything to go seamlessly I really need for all of you to order your dresses by July 1st to ensure timely receipt. If this isn’t possible we may have to consider another role for you either as a guest or assisting with coordination of the day.”


Or
Due to the multiple logistics involved with bridesmaids coordination I have decided to abandon the idea of having a bridesmaids or a bridal party.

Well if the dresses are being ordered from amazon hopefully they are being shipped from Amazon and will come pretty quickly. If you are dropping someone from being a bridesmaid though don't be surprised if they choose not to come at all as that can cause plenty of hurt feeling or drama but I especially would not ask them to decorate. I think you mentioned this is a Vow Renewal maybe your friends don't realize you want a full on bridal party/experience and are taking the role a little less seriously (not saying they should ). Have a chat with them set a date maybe you can get most of them together and make it a fun online shopping thing, does anyone in the group have prime?

View Quoted Comment Good advice!

View Quoted Comment I am not sure if they have prime or not. They know it is a vow renewal but they insisted on helping with table set up so I didn’t have to alone. I told them many times I didn’t want to burden them with the decorating part and I didn’t want a “bachelorette” but they also insisted on that as well.

I would think July 1 should be more than enough time. It gives them extra time if they need to get any alterations done as well. I’d got my MOH dress for a wedding in September back in May.

View Quoted Comment

So if just one person in the group has Amazon prime and the dresses are eligible for it each person can make an order and pay for it on their card through the prime account and often get free and faster shipping. I d invite the girls over for a wine and cheese night and do some online dress shopping, could be super fun and it might light fire under the girls you don't go to it to get moving on getting their dress. As for the decorating part its sweet of them to volunteer I was just saying if you ask someone to step out of the bridal party I wouldn't expect them to decorate. Hope it all gets sorted out quickly and as stress free as possible. Happy planning!

I would tell them to order them immediately. Amazon ships quickly though you do have to read the fine print as not all items ship out immediately. Their only requirement is to purchase a dress and show up on the wedding day. If you do ask anyone to step down for any reason, be aware that you are ending the friendship by doing so.

I’m getting married September 17th and all my bridesmaids have there dresses … I would just keep bothering them about it! I wouldn’t give them a deadline though.

As long as they have their dresses by your wedding day you have no issue. I would back off and just let them figure it out, there's literally nothing you can do unless you're just ordering them all.

Hi Sydney you have giving them plenty of time and gave them 2 deadlines already if I read that right. It takes time for dresses to come in if they dont have it right in the store. And some may need to be altered and that I also take time as well and you are cutting it real close to your date. It takes 4 to maybe 6 months too come in.So pick a date for this month only and stand firm And I know that this right now is making you very nervous. I really hope that everything works out for you