Bridesmaid got me down.

Olivia took the words right out of my mouth.

She got the dress, she said she's coming to the wedding.

She doesn't need to participate in anything else and her financials are none of your concern.

I get that you were just venting, but your original post did sound like judging/being upset with her for not being there when you expect her to be. Bringing up that she has gone on other trips or that she doesn't have a significant other or mortgage payment is judging and putting your own opinion on how she spends her money and time. You do not get to decide that. She will be there for your wedding. That is the important thing. Stop worrying about the other things she is doing. She has a life. It doesn't mean that she isn't happy for you.

I get it OP, but like others have said, just let it go and remember you're getting married in ten days!! This is an exciting time in your life and just because one BM isn't as excited or as involved doesn't mean she doesn't care, she's just far and has her own life going on too. Don't stress it.

OP I just noticed your location. FH and I recently relocated from Auburn Hills but our wedding is back in Michigan. I'm always excited to see other Michigan brides!

I really can't stand when people say 'Bridesmaids are just supposed to show up in their dress' like no. The whole point of being a bridesmaid it to support the bride! I don't agree with making them slave over invites, decor or setting up...but being there at pre wedding events? you are expected. Being available to talk about the wedding with the bride is expected.

Sorry you are feeling bummed OP. I think some people just aren't into weddings. I have friends that love to talk about the details and can't wait to see my dress, hair trial, jewelry, etc. My two BM's aren't into it really. That's okay. I had my bachelorette party a couple weeks ago and 1 didn't even bother to RSVP. I figured she wouldn't come and it was kind of a bummer but we had a great time without her. She'll be there on your wedding day which is what matters most.

It's a big bummer, I'm sorry this is happening to you!

@winter, some people can't come to pre-wedding events for whatever reason. And I hate when people say that bridesmaids need to support the bride. Wtf does a bride need support for? That's what your FH is for. They're just getting married and planning a large party. If they need support for that beyond what their fiance can do, then they shouldn't do it.

Call me crazy but, you ask someone to be your bridesmaid because they're a best friend, right? So why is it crazy that she acts like one?

Wedding aside, the girl is still supposed to be the OP's FRIEND. I understand where she's coming from.

With that being said, girlfriend don't pay her any mind! This is your day. You can't control what she does, even if she's being difficult. Please enjoy your day!

Enjoy your day hun! If she shows up, fine. If she doesn't, fine. Don't stress the small things or you will be a basket case.

I'm sorry your friend is acting this way i'd be upset too if one of my bridesmaids wasn't acting excited or interested in my wedding!! imo being a bridesmaid is far more than just buying a dress and showing up. generally, your bridesmaids are the ones closest to you, that you love and care about- and presumably feel the same way about you!! i haven't been a bridesmaid yet myself, but i would definitely want to be as helpful as possible and i would be overjoyed that someone wanted me to stand by them on their big day!!

as a side note to all the haters, the reason the OP put at the end that she wasn't married, or had children, or a mortgage, etc was because she knew those were going to be the first things responders gave as a reason as to why the bridesmaid can't come... she wasn't necessarily judging her for these things... besides, this site is all about judging what others do or say so what's the harm in her doing it? she clearly stated that she was ranting!!

Couldn't agree more about waiting to ask. My best friend/MOH of 10+ years has been the most distant in this whole process. No help what so ever. No contact. Everything is on her schedule. She hasn't helped at all. Sounds horrible but I fully blame her new relationship that started just before my engagement and she decided I was nobody and he was everything. I fully understand the frustration you're feeling. Just have a great wedding! Like everyone said, it's YOUR day, don't pay her actions any attention! Best of luck though.

@MAMW I understand everyone cant be at everything... but come on. Her BM doesn't seem to want to be there for her and it's really not cool. Yes you can't make anyone do anything, but she should WANT to be there during this exciting time for her friend. As far as support, we all know guys are not wedding savvy...every bride needs her friends ie BM to be available to run ideas by, talk timelines, events etc... like it's not hard, if that's really your friend! I don't know maybe I was just spoiled by my BMs but they went above and beyond for the whole year and a half it took to plan my wedding. Not once did any of them complain, missed a date, or made me feel like I was burdening them discussing my wedding. Did I ask them to help stamp my 100 envelops (no), are they expected to be at the venue 6 hours early to set up (no) I wouldn't ask that of them...but to be there emotionally and to celebrate the events leading up to the wedding yes...that's what friends do, they support each other! perhaps OP didn't pick a good enough friend.

Winter, just because I don't want to talk wedding details with my best friend does not mean I'm not a good friends. Weddings aren't my thing and that's why FH is planning ours (with my help of course). Your friends shouldn't have to hold your hand through wedding planning.

@winter this is the problem though - how much your friend cares about your wedding is not in any way indicative of how they care about you as a person and a friend. There is nothing that difficult about planning a wedding, or the events leading up to it, that should require that much support. I'm sorry but I just don't understand this line of thinking. If someone judges me as their friend based on how I feel about their wedding, then maybe they're just as bad of a friend as they probably think I am. If there are people willing to end friendships over their weddings, because someone wasn't "excited enough" about anything related to it, then it was a weak friendship to begin with.

For the wedding that I'm in later this year, the bride wanted to get all of us together to order our dresses online. No, sorry, I'm not driving 3 hours (one way) and finding a sitter to order a dress online. If that makes me a bad friend, then so be it I guess.