Bridesmaid drop out

View Quoted Comment I totally understand. I would talk to her and explain this to her. You offered to help so she could be part of your wedding, she said she didn’t need help, now she’s saying she does need help so since she won’t have it she can’t be part of the wedding, but she’ll be spending that money (and more) on the bachelorette party instead?

Seriously I would talk to her non-confrontationally and just explain that you’re confused as to how she can afford the bachelorette party if she can’t afford the dress, and that it’s hurtful to you that she obviously has the money (since she’s spending it at the bachelorette weekend) but isn’t willing to spend it on your wedding.

Thank you. I asked her to come over this weekend so we could talk. Hopefully we can work it out.

View Quoted Comment Good luck! Definitely go in with the tone of being sympathetic, confused, and hurt. Clarify that you’re not uninviting her to your bachelorette, you’re just confused as to how she can afford that and not the dress. Try not to be angry because that will make it worse!
Let us know how it goes!

I don't think it's a big deal if she participates. I invited girls to my bachelorette party that weren't in my bridal party! I might be offended to. She probably saved for the bridal shower & bachelorette but can't afford additional wedding costs.

Yes, I think you were unnecessarily harsh. Why not still let her participate? She's still a close enough friend of yours to be a bridesmaid she just can't afford it so why wouldn't you still want her there? I think you were being pretty hurtful as bachelorette parties aren't just for bridesmaids. Maybe you could quickly correct this and apologize?

View Quoted Comment

I think it's that she can afford a weekend party, but can't afford the dress and is no longer going to stand by her on her wedding day.

OP: When you chat with her, maybe say something like "I know I overreacted when I found out about the bachelor party and I just want to apologize and explain my feelings. You're one of my best friends and I really wanted you to be able to stand by me and be a bridesmaid on my wedding day, but when you dropped out due to financial reasons, of course I understood. I was confused and a little hurt that you were still able to spend the money on a weekend party, but not on the dress. I apologize if I lashed out, and of course you are welcome to join in on the Bach festivities! I also still would love to have you as a BM if you are still willing. Maybe I can help pay for the dress? If not, I completely understand."

As a bridesmaid in a very expensive wedding coming up this fall I can somewhat understand where the bridesmaid was coming from. It blows paying even $100 for a dress you will only wear once. Dont know if you will be paying for hair/make up but those are also the day of expenses. Then shower organization and shower gifts and weddings gifts. So being a bridesmaid is not really just buying the dress.

If i were to choose to buy a dress or add that money to go out of town w a bunch of friends to have a good party i might have chosen the latter also. At least you get a trip out of it and fun times with girlfriends. She will still be there for you to get married maybe not standing next to you but she will still celebrate your marriage with you.

That seems harsh to do to someone who you considered a close friend. Maybe she wanted to participate in the activities to still show you as much support as possible.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this.

The only reason I could see you being upset with her going to the bachelorette party is if it's equally as expensive as being a bridesmaid. If it's a destination party, then I wouldn't say you're completely out of line because if being a BM is too expensive, then traveling is too expensive as well.

HOWEVER, if she is really your friend, you'd want her to come celebrate with you. She is excited to be a part of the wedding even if she can't physically be a "part" of it. I would apologize and still let her come. Put yourself in her shoes.

I think it was pretty wrong to banish her from the bachelorette party. They aren't exclusive to the bridal party. A good friend would have still wanted her there. If I was her I would be changing my rsvp to no for your wedding.