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L
Savvy September 2018

Bridesmaid drop out

LaTrele, on July 19, 2018 at 9:38 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 31
Ok, so one of my bridesmaid's text me last week and said she could no longer be in my wedding due to financial reasons. I told her I understood and that I still wanted her to come to the wedding. Last night I was talking to my MOH and told her that "bridesmaid" dropped out. She then informed me that "bridesmaid" was still participating in the festivities for my bachelorette party. I text her this morning and told her that I didn't think it was fair for her to participate in the bachelorette festivities because she is no longer a bridesmaid. She is now upset with me and I want to maintain our friendship but I'm honestly hurt that she doesn't understand where I am coming from. Was I wrong for texting her?

31 Comments

Latest activity by MrsV1027, on August 2, 2018 at 2:32 PM
  • RZ_ToBe
    Master July 2018
    RZ_ToBe ·
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    I think that was pretty harsh to do. After all, she still wants to celebrate with you! She's still trying to support you just as much as the other bridesmaids, even though she's having some troubles.
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  • Annie
    VIP October 2018
    Annie ·
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    Just because she isn't a bridesmaid anymore doesn't mean she can't come to the bachelorette party! All the bachelorette parties I've been to have involved friends of the bride besides bridesmaids. She should still be able to hang out and celebrate with you. That was rude to kick her out of celebrations.

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  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
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    Yeah that was uncalled for. The bachelorette party can 100% be for more than just bm's. I would go apologize to her and tell her that you hope to see her at the party

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  • S
    Just Said Yes June 2019
    SAMARA ·
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    Being a bridesmaid is definitely expensive nowadays. I wouldn't hold that against her. I feel like it's amazing that she still wants to celebrate you and participate. I am having a destination wedding so I completely understand if one of m girl drop out but I wouldn't mind her attending the bachelorette. After all, it's supposed to be about you and your girls having an amazing time.
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  • Mrs. G
    Devoted April 2019
    Mrs. G ·
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    Yes, just because she can't be in your wedding due to financial reasons does not mean that she still can't come celebrate. That was a bit out of line.

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  • Chris
    Master February 2022
    Chris ·
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    Hey, LaTrele! I think it's a common misconception that the bachelorette party is just for the bridal party. If that's the impression you were under but you wouldn't mind her attending, then maybe you could talk to her and tell her it was a misunderstanding? As far as finances, maybe the she's able to swing the bachelorette party and thinks that is the best way to support you even if she can't participate in everything! Smiley heart

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Why does she have to be a bridesmaid to come to the bachelorette party? I’m inviting pretty much all my female friends to mine, plus my FH’s friend’s wife because I don’t want her to feel left out since they are from OOT and her husband is going to be at the bachelor party.

    What exactly are you doing for your bachelorette? Is it very expensive to have an extra guest? We’re just going to get dinner and then out to a couple bars and everyone is going to pay for themselves so for mine at least it’s the more the merrier
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  • L
    Savvy September 2018
    LaTrele ·
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    I think i'm just hurt because the reason she dropped out was because she couldn't get her dress. A dress that she has known about since January. I have asked her to accompany me many times to go get the dress and there was always a reason on why she couldn't come to get it. I also have had a conversation with her back in May about if she needed help getting the dress and she said no, she would get it, but here we are in July and now she can't afford the dress, but she can afford a weekend out of town.
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    OH ok I didn’t realize the bachelorette party was a weekend trip! Yeah I understand why you’re upset. How expensive is the dress?
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  • L
    Savvy September 2018
    LaTrele ·
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    The dress is $90 at David's Bridal. It was on sale for $75 back in January when I first picked them out. That's when my other ladies got their dresses.
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Oh yeah, that makes no sense then because that’s extremely inexpensive for a bridesmaid dress. Is that the only expense for her to be a bridesmaid, or are there other things she’d need to pay for too?
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Can you afford to help her with the dress maybe? I’m thinking maybe you can confront her and tell her that you really want her to be part of your wedding so you can spot her the $90 for the dress if she is really having financial problems, but then if she’s so broke that she can’t afford the dress you don’t understand how she can afford a weekend away...
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  • Mrs. J
    Expert October 2018
    Mrs. J ·
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    My bachelorette party is more than just my bridal party. Smiley smile I would cut her some slack, after all it's pretty embarrassing to admit to financial difficulties and then in turn be dismissed from other celebrations. I'm wondering however, what financial costs she can not afford? My MOH/BMs are only paying for their dress and we set a $50 budget. So if it's something like that but she's paying for her own going out at the bach party I would be bothered by that. Still, circumstantial and I wouldn't ask her to not come.

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  • Mrs. J
    Expert October 2018
    Mrs. J ·
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    That was my thought, what kind of bachelorette party lol.

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  • Can’t wait for the date
    Savvy April 2019
    Can’t wait for the date ·
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    There’s no rule that says bachelorette parties are only for the bridesmaids. I don’t understand why you told her she can’t come, and I don’t think that was the right thing to do.
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  • Mrs. J
    Expert October 2018
    Mrs. J ·
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    Okay, yeah. That's inconsiderate. She's pretty much displaying that she doesn't care to stand up at your wedding, but does care about partying with you.

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  • firstoneat56
    Master August 2017
    firstoneat56 ·
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    After reading all the posts it sounds more like: so you can afford to come on a bachelorette weekend but you can’t afford to buy a BM dress.

    Your friend was probably embarrassed that she couldn’t afford the dress (and all the other things that come with it whether you’re requiring them or not) and the Bachelorette party, so she bowed out of being a BM but still wants to support and celebrate you by attending the Bachelorette party. I can understand being disappointed but a little empathy for her would be nice. I think you owe her a heartfelt apology,
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Yeah that’s what it seems like to me too... if she was having financial difficulties shouldn’t she be backing out of the expensive bachelor party, not the relatively inexpensive dress to be part of the actual wedding...?
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Bachelorette* party lol
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  • L
    Savvy September 2018
    LaTrele ·
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    That's the approach I was going for but she stopped responding. I'm honestly not in a situation to help her now with school starting,9/6, and the wedding right after that, 9/15, but I was in May when I asked. I wanted to avoid this situation we are in now.
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