Bridesmaid Dresses Question: Letting Your People Pick Their Own

I've done it as a BM before and it's worked fine as long as everyone stays within the requested color.

I sent my picks and let the bride have final say.

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Did you like it as a BM or would you have preferred more guidance?

Re: color. I think that's why black would be best in this situation. hard to misunderstand!

I would just be as specific as you can. One time a bride said "black, floor length, no sequins or cutouts" -- which was fine because there was added direction. If you have preferences beyond what you have already said, I would just make that obvious before anyone purchases.

eta: I would personally send mine to the bride before buying but I wouldn't necessarily say "send to me for approval" because you have already given them the instructions.

View Quoted Comment I loved it! We were given length and color. I still wear the dress as a guest in wedding sometimes! I've pretty much gotten rid of my other BM dresses. It was nice to pick something I like without worrying what the other BMs were gonna think.

Question for brides who did this with a color - did you provide a swatch or just trust them to know what it is?

I want navy, and I'm worried that navy's from different stores will look slightly different which will be sloppy

I think I like this idea. I'm having a hard time finding proper style. I want them in country type dress with cowboy boots. One girl will have no problem however I'm concerned my oldest daughter may have an issue. She isn't country.

My BMs picked their own. I did not ask that they send me pictures to ask for my approval, but all of them did send me a picture, even if it was just to say "I ordered this one."

We agreed to go through a particular designer, so I just stipulated the color and fabric type, the group agreed on a single length (I didn't care if the dresses were long or short, just that they all be the same length), and they chose whatever style dress they wanted from that designer. Because we went through one designer, it was easier to make sure everyone's dresses would match in color. I picked a shade of blue, though. Black will be much easier to coordinate across different designers or stores, even if you don't provide ba swatch.

I'm in a wedding in May where we're picking our own BM dresses. I think the bride was tossing around the idea of sending us paint swatches of the shades of teal she wants since she's okay with us getting our dresses anywhere we want. She's also given us some guidelines, like short dresses and dresses with a little lace or a flowy material like chiffon.

I used Azazie, and gave them a color, length, and fabric and let them choose their own dress. It worked out really well and all the girls looked gorgeous and were really comfortable in their dresses.

I did this for the girls It went amazing, I gave them a color and length and they all picked a dress they loved and felt beautiful in. I would definitely do it again. I loved all of their dresses.

David's Bridal Mismatched

I did this with David's Bridal dresses (gave them a length and color) and let them choose the style. My bridesmaids are in all different states, so once someone went and chose their dress, I texted everyone else to let them know that style was chosen. (I just wanted to make sure I wasn't going to end up with multiple girls in the same exact dress, and then everyone else mismatched). So excited to see them all together in the same color!

UPDATE: Sorry, I don't mean like different styles from the same store, but like virtually any dress that fits the bride's specifications.

I was in one like this and while it was nice to pick out my own dress, I don't think we looked very cohesive or much like bridesmaids (the dresses were also short and two different colors). I was planning on doing the same but because of this I changed my mind. I'm compromising by picking two colors and letting my girls choose from 10 or so Azazie dresses. The only thing I'm going to ask is that they split up the two colors evenly.

I picked the color blush and let my girls run with it. They're all different sizes and have vastly different likes, so it made the choice really easy. One ordered from Davids, one from Azazie, and my MOH is wearing gold sequins and picked hers from Lulu's. I'm not worried about color mismatch because I have two girls in the blush, and it won't matter if the pinks are just a little off.

For a black dress, though, you should (hopefully) be fine in terms of dye lots. But depending on how picky you want to be, you might want to be more specific with what you want.

For example, my friend let us pick our dresses from DB, but she wanted them to all be the color Portobello and then be in their lace collection, so we had about 7-8 dresses to chose from, but it was still nice being able to pick the one we felt most comfortable in!

I'm doing this with my bridesmaids as well! I provided a color, and a few store ideas where I pointed out specific dresses that fit my vision - primarily just to give them solid ideas. Having been a bridesmaid myself many times, I personally found the prescriptive 'this is exactly what you're going to buy' approach to not be to my taste. Bridesmaids have different body types, different budgets, even different opinions on the companies they want to support or not. I also personally prefer the aesthetic of things being similar but not matching! The one caution I will give you is that the "choose your own" route DOES tend to allow procrastinators to, well...procrastinate. Just be prepared to gently encourage a shopping trip, or to pick something for that friend who might be anxious about finding something that you really like.

I think this is a mature and respectful way to treat your bridesmaids. They don't need to be all matchy matchy like cupcake toppings.

I did this for my BMs using Azazie. I actually said you pick the dress, as long as it it X length, X fabric (because their fabrics can change the color drastically) and one of the colors XYZ.

Each BM selected a different style of dress and a different color. (Within the color scheme I provided.) And I am so excited to see them! The colors look lovely together (based on the swatches I have) and each lady gets to wear a dress she feels comfortable in. And since they actually like the dress they picked, they can re-wear it. A couple have considered having it hemmed a bit shorter to make it more wearable.

Thanks everyone! Just FYI I meant truly picking any dress they wanted that's just black and floor length. I've had to purchase an Azazie dress in the past and it was honestly just very cheap looking. It wasn't something I'd ever wear in public. It got me thinking - even though it was cheap-ish ($200 for dress+ alterations) it was essentially $200 lost because it went straight to garbage can afterwards. However, had the bride told me to buy whatever I wanted in that color, I probably would have spent more, looked better, kept the dress and been happier about the whole thing.

I was in a wedding where she had us pick our own. She gave us length and color and we ordered what we wanted. All the dresses looked great together!

I’m planning to do the same with my bridesmaids. My only requirements are that it has to be long and a certain shade of purple 👍🏻

View Quoted Comment That’s EXACTLY why I wanted my BM to pick their own dresses! I gave them the color and length and they all picked dresses they love and feel happy in. My hope is they’ll keep them and eventually get more use out of them (unlike all the BM dresses I’ve had!)

View Quoted Comment I’m doing navy as well and kind of like the way it looks when the dresses are slightly different. We did this at my brothers wedding and it was gorgeous.