Bridesmaid drama

I'm typically very against giving bridal party the boot, but I also don't tolerate disrespect from anyone. Bye Felicia.

Bridal party should always get a plus one. However, her calling you a b and disrespecting you is a different story. If you kick her out of your bridal party just be ready for the friendship to be over.

Bridal party gets a plus one which you already did by allowing her to bring her son. Is not ok to disrespect you or call you names for that matter. I say sit down with her and have a serious talk. I’m a firm believer sometimes people don’t see how their actions affect others and who knows maybe she had a bad day in general. So talk to her and if it doesn’t change than made a decision.

View Quoted Comment Agreed with being careful, can't she consider her child that wasn't actually allowed as her plus one in general? Also, I wouldn't tolerate that whole "its not worth my time" lol NOPE but that could just be me. I have no problem ending it

A boyfriend isn't a plus one, he is half of a social unit. Events like a wedding require that social units be invited together.

If you don't care if the friendship is ruined, go ahead and kick her out. I'd suggest being an adult and having a conversation explaining that you think the relationship has run it's course. By ending the friendship she'll no longer be in the wedding.

If you kick her out, pay her back for any expenses she has incurred.

I would definitely stand my ground like you’re doing it right now . If she has a problem let her know why you feel this way she has no rights to call you any names and if you have already met your total numbers you can’t bring no one else it’s final is done .keep it pushing ,and move on from that.

View Quoted Comment So you’re saying I should pay for her dress? She was the one who started this and secondly she also said that she was going to come the the wedding get her makeup done, eat then leave after dinner. If she doesn’t want to be there anyway don’t come. I did not start this she did and like I said I thought I was doing a good thing my letting her bring her son when kids are not allowed.

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Well, for her plus one she chose to bring her son. Bridal party is not entitled to a plus two

Stand strong on this, OP. Do not uninvite her at this point, just grin and bear it. But when it comes to adding people, the answer is no. Her son or her boyfriend, she can choose.

I think she should have been allowed a plus one that isn’t her child. No bridesmaid wants to be at a wedding (that they are in) alone especially if she is in a relationship. So I see her being a little annoyed by that and maybe that explains why she didn’t want to go to the makeup trial. However, her calling you names and not being supportive is not ok either. It’s your day and you don’t want to look back on that day and think about fighting with your friend lol if the issue hasn’t resolved itself after a discussion then I would ask her not to be in the wedding. She can still come but doesn’t need to be involved.

I would tell her she can either bring her boyfriend or her son, not both. If you kick her out explain why, and tell her you won't tolerate being called names.

*and to add - I personally wouldn’t offer to pay for the dress. She was asked to be a bridesmaid and she said yes. Then her behavior showed that she won’t add positively to the day. That isn’t the brides fault. Plus, you already paid for a makeup trial she didn’t show up for.

People have told me when you have a wedding you see who you’re true friends are and who are just casual friendships. It’s sad but it is what it is.

I would not give her the boot, unless you are ready to end the friendship. Advise her that it’s a plus 1, not a plus 2, so she can bring either her son OR her boyfriend, but not both. Basically tell her you already gave the final headcount and it can’t be changed or something along those lines.

View Quoted Comment Yes, if you CHOOSE to kick her out, you should pay her back for ALL of her wedding day related expenses. It doesn't matter who started it. You should be an adult about this and take ownership of the choice you made, if you kick her out.

Weddings are tricky because, as one person told me, they show you who your real friends are. While I do think you should have accounted for your bridal party plus ones (including any kids they have) I don’t think it’s cool that she call you a b****. You need to have a sit down with her and explain the ways that you need to be supported and how she’s dropping the ball. If it’s that upsetting to you, then reevaluate the friendship. Lots of venues charge less $ for kids plates. If your guest list budget is that tight, I’d say to tell her she can bring her bf but that she’d need to pay for her sons plate. Don’t pay for her dress though. If she really wants to be there, she’ll either get a babysitter, or pay you the extra $30 or whatever it costs to add on a kid. If your venue is too strict and will overcharge for extra ppl then communicate that to her. But still push that she’d have to contribute to the up charge.

At this point, she can trade her son for her BF. You DID give her a +1 and if she’d like to make a change, that’s fine but needs to do it pronto and without name calling.

I agree with PP to just let her pick who she wants to bring her boyfriend or her son. I had a BM who was in a newer relationship and I wasn't sure if she was going to want to bring him or not. She is a single mom, so I said if she didn't want to bring her boyfriend, she could bring her son as a date. She ended up bringing the boyfriend and found a babysitter for her son.

A boyfriend is not a "plus one." Period. A boyfriend is a significant other who should have been invited by name. These terms are not interchangeable. She has every right to be upset that her boyfriend is not invited. You committed a social faux pas not inviting the boyfriend in the first place. Etiquette dictates he be invited; you chose to ignore etiquette and now your friend is upset which is the natural consequence of ignoring etiquette. If you choose to kick her out of the bridal party then you should reimburse her for her bridal party expenses.

I would sit down and talk to her if you are both local to each other. If not, then talk on the phone. I would let her bring the boyfriend since he should have been invited. But I would let her know that she can't bring her son, especially since no other kids are allowed except those in the wedding. If you allow her to bring her son but the other guests cannot bring their kids then you could potentially upset those other guests who couldn't bring their kids.

Are you willing to lose your friendship with her? Be ready to end things if you decide to kick her out of the bridal party. It would take a very, very, very good friend for me to allow her calling me a B-word just ONCE.

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This is true, if she had this boyfriend when the guest list was made. If this boyfriend popped up within the last few weeks I don't think she committed any faux pas. Based on the fact that she previously asked to bring her son I am assuming this is a new relationship.