Bridesmaid drama- vent!

I would be pissed only because you planned it in her state so she could attend. I just went to a bachelorette where the only person I knew was the bride, and still had a blast, but I'm pretty outgoing.

Am I the only one confounded by the comments of "All she is required to do is show up in the dress"? That may be all they are required to do by wedding etiquette standards, but I surely didn't choose my BM's because I expected them to do the bare minimum. I don't do the bare minimum in our friendships, I wouldn't do the bare minimum at their weddings either and expect that it be OK.

Thanks for everyone's feedback, I really appreciate it :-)

I have calmed down a bit since yesterday. I think the real reason I'm upset is that she just didn't try to contact me first. Or even shortly after telling the bridesmaids. I still haven't heard from her regarding the situation.

FH reached out to her and she seems to be ducking his calls. I'm not sure what's going on, but it seems like it may be something deeper.

As for the suggestions to throw a get together, we actually are! I'm very excited about it. The bridesmaids and the groomsmen (and their spouses) are all coming over next weekend for a beach day and BBQ! I'm hoping this may help the situation and convince my FSIL to attend.

I don't want her to be uncomfortable, so if she truly believes she will be, I would not want her in that situation. At this point, I'm ok if she decides to come, and also OK if she doesn't. I just wish she would have called me. That's the one thing that still doesn't make sense.

I'm with you soon to be Mrs G. My BMs are some of my closest girlfriends and they understand that there is more to being in the wedding party than just showing up on the day of in matching dresses. They are throwing me a shower and bachelorette party and helping with a few wedding things the weekend of and keeping my psycho shrew of a MIL away from me. I did similar things for them when I was in their weddings. As long as people are reasonable (which is key) I think more than wearing the dress on the day of is fine.

It is to bad she didn't discuss it with you first.

www.UniquelyYouMT.com

Hold on, I do think you have a right to be upset. If you planned an event around her to make it easier and she didn't say something sooner, I would be pissed. However, she sounds like a drama llama and I think saying something will be just the spark she is looking for. Ignore it, have fun but I would never plan something around her again.

Sounds like you came to perfect grips with it. Good luck with the BBQ, maybe she'll change her mind, but maybe there's more going on… I wouldn't worry about it. One of my BM's didn't come to my bacherlotte party, even though it was just dinner and then an optional going out (some did some didn't) because she was four months pregnant. She could have still just came for dinner but I let it go...

The only thing that I'm still frustrated about is that she STILL has yet to contact me regarding it. I'm ok with the fact that she's not going now.

I think I will call her this weekend to discuss it. I don't want the BBQ to be awkward just because she is avoiding talking to me about it.

I would be upset too, you're definitely not overreacting.