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Beginner July 2019

Bridesmaid doesn’t want to be in the wedding anymore

Sophie, on December 3, 2018 at 5:51 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 38
Hey all!
I’ve had one of my friends drop out of my wedding. Luckily, my wedding isn’t until the summer but how did you deal with it? I don’t know what emotions I should be feeling? How did you handle the drama and are you still friends?

Ive really been struggling. She doesn’t want to be a part of my wedding because of my budget makes her uncomfortable and she’s also getting married a month after me. She also kicked me out of her wedding as a bridesmaid as well. She also thinks that the title bridesmaid doesn’t fit her because she felt she wasn’t supportive of me whilst wedding dress shopping because of what I wanted to spend on my dress. She is also twisting the story around saying I didn’t want her to be in my wedding, which is a lie. I considered her as basically a second maid of honor

38 Comments

Latest activity by MrsD, on December 4, 2018 at 10:25 AM
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I can understand her being stressed about money, what is the budget you are asking bridesmaids to have? Or does she just mean your entire wedding budget? I think it's SUPER awkward she kicked you out though. That is so rude & you don't deserve that. This is super hurtful, you have every right to feel the way you do.

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  • Kenisha
    Champion June 2019
    Kenisha ·
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    You’re entitled to your feelings. Honestly she sounds like a mess. Do you really want that kind of person in your life? She knew what your expectations were. If she had an issue she should have not agreed to be in your bridal party. Why does how much YOU spend on a dress affect or bother her? Sounds like she’s just jealous that you have more money than she does. Focus on the positive and leave her negative ways in the past.
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  • Tracy
    Super January 2019
    Tracy ·
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    If your weddings are one month apart, I think it's one of the best gestures a friend can offer....to not add the pressure/responsibilities/finances of being in the other's wedding

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  • PurdyAikey
    Super January 2019
    PurdyAikey ·
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    This situation all around sucks! I am sorry you are going through this. If you want to maintain the friendship, I would just say do you still want to come to the wedding as a guest, and try and move forward. Was it your overall wedding budget or the budget you were asking the girls to spend?

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  • S
    Beginner July 2019
    Sophie ·
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    It was the overall budget. I only ask the girls to pay for their hair makeup and their dress. Their dress was $200
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  • Kenisha
    Champion June 2019
    Kenisha ·
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    But her friend knew both of their wedding dates. If that was the case then you have an adult conversation to say that. You don’t kick your friend out of your wedding + not be in her wedding then lie to others about what happened. That’s not cool.
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  • Tracy
    Super January 2019
    Tracy ·
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    I hear you. Just trying to be generous and look on the bright side. Lol
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  • Kenisha
    Champion June 2019
    Kenisha ·
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    You’re probably going to get slack on here for asking them to pay for their hair and make up if you wanted them to look a certain way.
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  • S
    Beginner July 2019
    Sophie ·
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    If they don’t want to spend the money on hair and make up it’s fine with me. I don’t expect them to look a certain way. Whatever makes them feel comfortable, I’m comfortable.
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  • Kenisha
    Champion June 2019
    Kenisha ·
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    So they don’t have to pay someone to do their hair and make up. You left that up to them?
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  • S
    Beginner July 2019
    Sophie ·
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    She means my entire wedding budget. She’s also my co worker and boss lady. She just thinks I didn’t want her in the wedding because I felt as if she didn’t want to so I asked her if she wanted to still. She also brought up not being in each other’s weddings first because she thinks we’re competing with one another when I’m not, just planning my wedding the way I want it to be. And we haven’t been getting along.
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  • Kenisha
    Champion June 2019
    Kenisha ·
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    Basically all you asked your bridesmaids to pay for was the $200 dress.
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  • S
    Beginner July 2019
    Sophie ·
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    Right. I’ll give them that suggestion or they can do their own hair and make up.
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  • S
    Beginner July 2019
    Sophie ·
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    Yes that is all I ask them to pay and to show up
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  • Kenisha
    Champion June 2019
    Kenisha ·
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    Yeah so it’s not really about the budget. I think it’s something else and she’s just using the budget as an excuse.
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  • Kenisha
    Champion June 2019
    Kenisha ·
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    Oh okay. I understand.
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  • S
    Beginner July 2019
    Sophie ·
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    We did talk about attending each other’s weddings as guests but also I work with her and all she talks about is her wedding and makes me feel sad that I’m not a part of it anymore when I was really happy and excited for her. She also thought I wasn’t being supportive of her either when I helped her pick out her dress and find venues and called them for her too
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  • S
    Beginner July 2019
    Sophie ·
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    Probably but it still sucks to have a “friend” abandon you on a big milestone
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  • Kenisha
    Champion June 2019
    Kenisha ·
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    Absolutely. I’m so sorry that you’re going through that.
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  • Brae
    VIP September 2019
    Brae ·
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    Okay, so you shouldnt require hair and makeup unless you pay for it, also the dress price is a little high for me. I'd probably still do it if it was for someone close to me. Did you discuss her budget before you picked the dress? It's pretty rude to just expect people to pay a certain amount without asking first. So now that I said all that. She should have discussed things with you about why she was uncomfortable. How much your spending on your dress is none of her business. To be honest, it doesn't sound like she cares about you the way that you potentially care for her. She could have came to you, explaining things and given you the option to step down from her party, but kicking you out and lying about why she is no longer in your wedding is straight out mean. I'd talk to her about your friendship and if there is even one left. Good luck.
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