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Savvy April 2022

Bridesmaid dilemma

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Virginia, on April 13, 2021 at 10:52 AM

I’m getting married 4.22.22. I just prepared my bridesmaid proposal baskets to give out. I was hesitant to create one for my SIL because I knew they were trying to get pregnant. My brother is actually officiating and my nephew, their son, is our ring bearer. Well I found out this weekend they are due in Nov, which I’m thrilled!! However I now don’t know about asking her to be in the wedding given that the rest of the family is and she will have a 4 1/2 month old to look after. As much as I love my niece and nephews I also don’t really want a baby in my bridal suite while I’m getting ready the day of. She was told however by my brother she was going to be asked before I knew of the situation. I’m at a loss on how to handle this. Any advice? TIA!

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Savvy April 2022
Virginia · on April 15, 2021 at 5:00 PM
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Thanks for the advice. She’s never left my 2 yr old nephew with anyone but family so I know she would not consider a babysitter for her almost 5 month old. I’m going to ask her with the reality that I’m just going to have to suck it up having my baby niece or nephew around if she says yes while getting ready. At least there will be all the family around to help if needed after the ceremony. And she’s so regimental with naps and feeding schedules that I’m sure she won’t even stay for the reception. Just crossing my fingers she turns it down.
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Alyssa · on April 16, 2021 at 3:16 PM
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I was a bridesmaid in a wedding with a 5 week old. I did have to breastfeed but we made it work. Ask an aunt or uncle or other trusted family member who is NOT in the procession or wedding planning to be on hand to hold the baby during photos or while the girls are getting ready. Then that aunt/uncle can come into the bridal suite and gently pull your SIL out of the room to feed as needed.
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VIP October 2022
Samantha · on April 16, 2021 at 5:55 PM
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Instead of hoping she turns it down, why not just not ask her?
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Super February 2022
Grace · on April 16, 2021 at 7:17 PM
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Getting a babysitter sounds like a great option. Even mothers who breastfeed can pump milk ahead of time for the babysitter to give their kid. You can offer to pay for the babysitter if that is something you think would help.

However, it sounds like you are asking her at least partly out of obligation. Make REALLY sure you want her in your bridal party before you ask.
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