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Savvy January 2018

Bridesmaid Demotion

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ChemEBride, on February 4, 2017 at 12:03 AM

Hi friends. Our wedding will be in 11 months, and we're going to have somewhere between 150-200 guests (hopefully closer to 150). In the last couple weeks FH and I started talking about not having a big wedding party, as in, only having a best man and an MOH. I really like this idea and it would simplify so much, and it would feel way more authentic to our personalities. I don't want to have to choose which of my friends are my favorite. Plus it works out perfectly because I have one sister and he has one brother. Boom.

Here's the complication. I already told one of my friends that she would be a bridesmaid. For some background, we aren't even that close anymore. We were great friends in high school, grew apart through college, and she's just kind of a pushy person and pressed the bridesmaid thing out of me.

So my question for you guys is: I need to demote her. Any tips on making it more palatable?

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25 Comments

Savvy January 2018
ChemEBride · on February 4, 2017 at 12:22 AM
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Yeah, you're right Abbi. It was after I was engaged, so I screwed up there. I didn't start the conversation; she asked. She's pretty manipulative and always has been, and I got guilted into agreeing to stuff I wasn't prepared for. Not an excuse, just the reality. It's those tendencies that make me want to sever ties with her. I could go through with it and pretend she's my favorite friend and none of my other friends made the cut, but I'm not willing to add more people to this list of complicated friendships.
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Savvy January 2018
ChemEBride · on February 4, 2017 at 12:25 AM
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And it isn't just that I don't want her to be a bridesmaid so I'm willing to cut up a friendship because of that. We've been on rocky footing ever since we started talking again. She's done more than just guilt me into saying she was going to be a bridesmaid to make me say this. I could go into that, but it would take a lot more time and personal information than I'm willing to share.
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on February 4, 2017 at 12:25 AM
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Looks like you're asking how to demote her nicely, then. There's really no way to do that.
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Savvy January 2018
ChemEBride · on February 4, 2017 at 12:26 AM
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Fair enough. Thanks.
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Just Said Yes December 2017
Genna · on February 4, 2017 at 12:29 AM
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It comes down to what really matters....which regret is worse? Having her not in your wedding party or ruining a friendship because she sounds a little crazy and will take it personally. Ultimately it is your choice and those are the questions you have to ask yourself
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