Bridesmaid can’t pay for shower at the last minute

Yikes! Definitely sounds like you're in a tough spot.

I think if it was decided on a year ago at that meeting that it was within everyone's budgets, than it's unfair now for her to say she doesn't have it. How much is it per person?

If none of you are able to cover her cost, than I think your only option is to bring it up to the parents. If she doesn't have it, she doesn't have it. It's definitely not fair to any of you since she hasn't brought up any financial difficulties in the past year, but you can't force her to pay for an optional party. Getting the money up front probably would've been the best way to handle this, but since you're past that, I think the only way to go is to discuss this with the parents.

Also, why did the MOB get involved in the planning if the cost was supposed to be spread amongst the BM's?

That really stinks she's doing that right now. If this is on your credit card currently ask her to do a payment plan with you. Have her give you that amount plus a few dollars a month to cover the interest. Hopefully she would agree to that so you wouldn't have to ask her parents for the money. She definitely should have told you all up front she couldn't afford it or whenever she realized she couldn't afford her portion.

Agree with this - to have the BM follow up with MOB and FOG.

Is there an amount she CAN afford and then everyone else split what's left?

I don't think I would do this. If she had a commitment that she's known for a year and two weeks prior tells you she just can't pay (appears to me that she is not trying to work the situation out) I would definitely not believe that she would pay me back as "a loan" sort of thing. Definitely bring up to the mother that tried to get involved in organizing. I thin that's the only person that can help out. Such a sad way to behave as an adult. Sorry you're dealing with it.

Honestly, I can't imagine asking bridesmaids to pay for the shower. I think that's the responsibility of her mom! Especially since she called the meeting and told you to plan it. It's one thing to ask bridesmaids/MOH to help with the games and maybe pick up some decorations/supplies, but more than that is an overstep, IMO. I've never been asked to contribute financially to a shower as a bridesmaid. I get that this BM has known about it for a year, and yes, she def should've spoken up sooner, but the MOB needs to step up and open her wallet for the shower she wanted to have.

^I agree with this...to have her consider asking her parents. I don't think it would be in anybody's best interest for you to go to her parents yourself. Just my opinion. I think that if you did that, there would be many more hurt/frustrated feelings more than there already are.

Sorry you're in this predicament. It is not fair for her to do this to you, esp last minute! Good luck!

First off, why is the mother making all the plans and expecting others to pay. I have never had to pay for a shower as a bridesmaid. Only the bachelorette party. We helped to plan the showers, but those were usually put on by family. Almost always the sister or mother of the bride.

Aside from that...if the bridesmaid agreed to pay, then she should have set aside the money. Granted, things happen and we and you honestly do not know her financial situation or things that may have come up. Being overly judgmental at this point will not fix the situation, you have to look for other options. Are there ways to trim the budget? Nix flowers or some sort of décor that really isn't needed, nix the extra desserts...just options...I do not know the details of this event.

Possibly see what amount if any the other maids can come up with and then go from there with asking the parents. I personally would ask the bride how to handle the situation, as she is the one person involved that knows everyone the best. Myself, I would just pitch in to cover it and make the situation go away...if I were the bride and knew this was the issue.

In my circle, "normal protocol" is for the MOB to host and pay for the shower. And in this case, whether it's considered protocol or not, I'm really dumbfounded by the fact that the MOB got you all to organize this shower at her request, but expected you all to pay for it.

Same. Since she brought up the idea she should be the one to pick up the cost, not you.

I can't believe the MOB just told you guys that bridesmaids pay for the shower. Bridesmaids can OFFER to pay/host but they should never be TOLD to pay.

Worst case scenario ask the MOB, it was her idea anyway. So completely rude of MOB to make assumptions. But also sucks for BM to back out of paying. Ask what she can afford, $50, $25, $100 and request that and ask MOB to make up the difference.

"BM, i know you said you couldn't afford the full amount, I understand you may be in a tight spot, but we're on the hook for this shower we all agreed to host and pay for in 2017. Is there an amount you're comfortable contributing to help us offset the cost? Any amount would help even if it's not the full amount." And go from there.

The MOB never should have called a meeting and dictated that the BM's were going to host a shower and pay for it. Hosting a shower is purely voluntary. Unfortunately, none of you appear to have known that or stood up to the MOB.

It's only relatively recently that it has become acceptable for the MOB to host a shower for her own daughter. When the majority of brides still lived at home, the MOB was seen to be greedy if she did so, as she also benefited from her daughter being showered with gifts to prepare her to leave the family home.

I would go back to the MOB and tell her that unfortunately the bridesmaids would not be able to come up with the full amount and ask if her to cover the balance. I would not throw the BM under the bus by naming her.