Bridesmaid cancels a couple of weeks before the wedding! VENT!!!

I don't blame you for being hurt. You have every right to be. I also don't understand why she waited so long to get a plane ticket when prices go wayyy up during summer months. I'm sorry this has happened to you. I hope you can get some money back on it. Just remember why you were friends before and take some time to think about whether this is going to ruin your friendship or if you can work past it.

I am so sorry this happened :-(...I would be very upset and hurt as well and totally understand how this could affect your friendship. I personally don't see how I would be able to forget about what she did. I'm sure I would stay friends with her but it just wouldn't be the same. Especially since you made the effort to go to her graduation and this is your WEDDING! A wedding is so much bigger than graduation IMO. Just try to forget about it for now and think about all the happy times you will have at the wedding. It is sure frustrating but I'm sure you have all of your other BMs who love you and want to see you happy. Keep your head up!

Just breathe. Yes, she should have purchased the plane tickets in advance. She should have planned ahead as a member of your wedding party and good friend. It is amazing how these things happen... to you and other brides. (HUGS)

If money is not an issue, maybe you can help pitch in for the plane ticket so she can still come. Would that be possible? If having her there is important to you, then maybe you can still try to salvage the relationship and be the bigger person by making the offer. She was chosen to be a bridesmaid for a reason and you spent all the money to go to her graduation too.

Just think about it.

I would be very hurt too, and I don't think I could overlook it. To me, the friendship wouldn't be the same. She should have tried getting tickets soon and said something sooner if canceling not less than a month before the wedding.

I wouldn't make an effort anymore really in that friendship.

Laudie, I agree with you. I think a wedding is a much bigger deal!

Anna, when I first asked her to be apart of the day, I knew that I was asking a lot - travel, lodging, dress, etc. I asked her what she could afford and I helped her with the rest. I was paying for her hotel room and I paid half of the dress cost. She said that she would buy the ticket because whether she was in the wedding or not, she was coming anyway. I could offer to pay for part of the plane ticket, but we (FH and I) are paying for the whole wedding by ourselves, we are trying to eliminate as much extra cost as possible. And now, I feel like she doesn't want to come! It's not like she called and said hey I'm having some trouble with the travel cost, she sent me a text message and said she "can't make it 500 is too much for a ticket. Sorry." What's up with that?

Ugh that is just so rude! I cannot believe she sent you a text message! Maybe there is some bigger issue going on in her life.

Can you try calling her and seeing if everything else is ok? Explain to her that you are very hurt and really wanted her to be there. Maybe she is keeping something from you but afraid to tell you (like a family member is sick or something, or has some new d-bag boyfriend).

I would be hurt because I wanted my friend there. But in life things happen and personally I would get over it. period. I wouldn't of saved all year for the wedding probably a smart thing to do but wouldn't of. I probably wouldn't even thought of buying the tickets months in advance, they months in advance even then who knows I might not of had it. I sucks I know things happen, life happens it doesn't stop you from getting married.

The text makes me think she may be a bit embarrassed about not being able to afford it.

I'm on my phone & I can't see where you are located, have you researched flights on your own? I know Jet Blue runs a lot of summer specials. Could you return her bridesmaid gifts & put that money towards her ticket to help her out? I'd call her and get the real story. You have every right to be hurt.

Sorry this is happening - instead of being so mad - can you see what she can afford and maybe help her find a cheaper airfare? Try Hotwire. Change the travel times and days to see if a more affordable airfare is available. Does anyone have miles she could use instead?

Life happens and she probably thought she could make it work but in the end it did not - at least not yet. Her job might be paying her less than the one she had when she accepted - or other expenses might have occurred that you are not aware of. Communication is much better than assuming

Wow, you guys are WAY nicer than I would be...especially if you helped foot the bill for so much else for her. I'd call her, play dumb a little bit ("Your text said you can't make it...like to the wedding? Mine? What HAPPENED? Are you OK?") and if it genuinely is the case that she waited until now to book a ticket, AFTER you paid the difference in what it would cost and what she said she could pay...I'd write her off, honestly. That's not the kind of friend I'd want to get a margarita with, much less have standing up for me at my wedding.

I just cant believe she sent that to you in a text message! Didnt have the decency to call you and say Im sorry due to financial difficulties Im not going to be able to be in the wedding. I think she needs to look at cheapo air or a travel website maybe fly in on a less popular day, but to just act like that is just making you feel like an afterthought and thats not acceptable.

Yeahh, I'd be upset too. It's bad enough that she is bailing on you, but that she did it in a lameass text message is just ridiculous. Can you call her and figure out what the deal is?

I'm in Chicago. I know from here to Seattle isn't cheap, but when I went there in Feb, I told her she should work on getting a ticket ASAP, it was cheap then.

I called. She didn't answer. Sent her a text that said "You're not making it to the wedding?" "Her response "Yeah. No. $500 2 much 4 a ticket." I said " You try southwest? hotwire? Maybe Jules (our other friend) can get you a buddy pass?" No response. -_-

I really am totally dumbfounded. I can't comprehend the seeming lack of caring. It's as if I ran over her dog, the way she's acting. I don't know.... Kiley, you are right!

Wow. She sucks. If that's the only kind of response you can get (via text? Really??? No profuse apology, no well-wishes, nothing?), you're probably better off without her -- clearly you prize the friendship MUCH higher than she does. I don't care how embarrassed you are about your financial situation (...that you caused yourself by waiting too long...), that's some BS to not even offer a genuine apology. If you chose a $4,000 bridesmaid dress or asked everyone to fly to Tahiti for the wedding or something like that, I could understand a glib response -- but it's not like you chose the prices, and Chicago and Seattle are both major airports with tons of flight options (my city's airport has two airlines that service it...). I'm mad for you and I don't even know you!

Maybe with her switching jobs she wasnt guAranteed time off and so she had to wait til last minute, just a thought. It may not be all her fault. And she may have had a year but you've also got to figure usually when switching jobs there's a reason, or maybe an amount of time with no pay and that's why

True friends are hard to come by now a days so please don't let this destroy your friendship. Was she really a true friend or someone that you were cool with. She was wrong and i am sorry this happened to you. In time you will be able to forgive her. Pray and ask God to soften your heart. Once you have come to peace with the fact that she communciated the change at the last minute call her to see what the bigger issue really is...

I personally wouldn't accept the honor if I was having financial issues. I am a planner but everyone is not a planner so try to stay open if and when you decide to talk with her.

That is your big day, DO NOT LET ANYONE OR ANYTHING CHANGE THE MOST HAPPIEST DAY IN YOUR LIFE!!!!

Omigosh. No immediate response on text message. Didn't even pick up the phone... GRRRR... I am so upset for you! She didn't even explain herself on the phone. How she sounded on text is the worset! Ugh! I am so sorry. (HUGS)

You're contributing so much so she can be there. You are so sweet for paying for her hotel, paying for part of her dress... She should have money to pay for the flight ticket. That is ridiculous.

Now I know what kind of person she is... Don't put up with that especially when the wedding is 19 days away. Cancel her room, get your money back that you spent on her dress, return the BM gifts, and leave her name off all the programs.

A better friend will call or explain herself not through a text message.

What this sounds kind of shady to me, How could she not get her ticket beforehand? She must have known it would cost more with such sort notice.i think you should have her pay for whatever she will not be using. How can anyone think it would be ok to drop out less than 3 weeks before the wedding! Not like you don't' have enough to worry about.

@dpierce - I'm all for forgiveness but I just could not forget what she did and definitely think the friendship would be completely different.

I had "friends" in college and we had a group of 5 of us that had planned on living together the next year. Well a week before the housing deadline one of them told me that they were all 4 going to be living with each other and I had to just figure it out. It took me a lot of time to forgive them but I am still hurt by what they did. I can only imagine having one of my BMs do something like that and the amount of hurt I would be feeling.

I know she may have not intended for this to have happened because she was your good friend at one point, right? What doesn't sit right with me is why is she waiting so long to do everything? Booking the flight and telling you that she cannot make it out there to see you are pretty need to know topics when you are planning a wedding. You have a little more than 2 weeks left till your wedding and I would try contacting her one more time and then move on. I hope the gifts weren't personalized because I think few vendors would accept them if they had been engraved. I wish you the best!