Bridesmaid backed out due to financial reasons and I replaced her. Now she's mad at me! HELP!!!

She has no reason to be upset with you that it totally resonable but to be the bigger person I would try to talk to her about why she is upset with you abot it and explain that you did not do it to stab her in the back but because it is YOUR day and that you wanted a balanced party there is nothing wrong with that and if she cant understand that then maybe she isnt worth keeping as a friend (not to be harsh or rude)

She's clearly very immature. See if you can have a reasonable and grown up discussion with her about this, but if she refuses to discuss or even be reasonable, there's really nothing you can do. You can't make her feel any differently than she wants to. You have plenty on your plate, so concentrate on your wedding plans and hopefully she'll come around later.

And if she never comes around, I guess she wasn't that good of a friend after all.

I don't understand, you offered to pay (which was very generous) and she's the one that backed out..you did everything you could..what were you supposed to do just have a vacant spot reserved for her? Unless you went behind her back or something she has no right to be mad..oh well at least know you are in the right, hopefully she'll cool off and come to her senses!

Her recent behavior just proves that you made the right choice by not having her in the wedding. Honestly I would not reach out to her. She just proved what type of person she is, and you do not need people like that in your life.

You shouldn't do anything. You offered to pay for her she still declined it's her loss. Her being upset is ridiculous she shouldn't be upset you was just doing what you had to do.

Its not your fault, but this is a good time to see that she probably isn't a good friend. Good friends usually stick by your side. I understand her being upset, but she needs to realize it wasn't anything personal. If you two can discuss that, maybe she will understand, but if not, then its a good idea to end that friendship.

Like the ladies said, you haven't done anything wrong. Your friend made the decision not to be in the wedding party. And her reaction to you having someone else stand by you is unreasonable. Try to talk to her and if her actions remain the same then unfortunately, she may not be a true friend. I hope you'll be able to talk to her and things will get better.

Absolutely not your fault. your friend is acting immaturely. i agree with the girls that she not a good friend to you. maybe send her a letter and express how you feel if she's not responding your calls.

That's not your fault at all. You offered to help w/her expenses, which is generous of you. Maybe she thinks she's being "replaced", but what were you to do? I'd just send her a note, and then if you get nothing after that, then leave it alone. Maybe her hurt feelings are because she can't be apart of the wedding party, and she's taking it out on you.

I agree with the ladies who already posted. You were more than generous with your offer of contributing 1k. If you have already reached out to her and no response, I say if she wants to continue your friendship, let her reach out, otherwise you need to move on.

Thank you ladies, for listening and providing your support. I guess I was just surprised by her reaction to this change in the wedding party. I was not trying to hide this from her, but at the same time, I did not tell her specifically, "Hey by the way, you are being replaced." Maybe I should have?? I didn't think it would matter either way. With her living out of the country and me trying to plan our destination wedding, I never crossed my mind to tell her since she wasn't going to the wedding anyway. Before she found out someone else was filling in for her, she was helping me with the wedding planning - picking out favors, looking at decoration ideas, etc. When I told her the news, our e-mail communication ceased. She actually just wrote me on FB and made a comment about my wedding, but she acts like nothing ever happened. I think I will just leave things as they are because I do not need anymore stress before my wedding. It's less than 3 weeks away!!

And yes, I agree with all of you...I do feel she reacted immaturely and a part of me feels like it's better that she wasn't in the wedding after all. All things happen for a reason...

I can understand that she's upset that she's missing out on your wedding and being right in the hub-bub of it all as part of the bridal party (but that was HER choice -- and I agree with everyone that you were MORE than generous by offering her money and help so that she COULD be there along side you during your ceremony and all).

But emotions aside, her reaction and the fact that she completely ceased e-mail communication with you (and now isn't coming to the wedding at all) is super immature. Also, I don't think you should have had to explain that you were thinking of finding someone else to fill in ... most people have even numbers on either side of the aisle, so she should've ASSUMED that you were finding a new girl to take her place.

Well hey, 7/16 will be here any day -- just focus on what you need to for you, your FH and your bridal party and try not to let your old friend's attitude and actions get to you.

Well, I think I'd make certain that is what she is upset about, might be something else. But, if it is, it's her problem. You were MORE than gracious.

Wow, she is really being ridiculous. you were very generous offering to pay for her to be in the bp. its not like oyu kciked her out, she backed down. is she still coming out to attend the wedding?

Don't contact her. It's your day and you were willing to help pay for her to get there and her dress. (Something I wouldn't do) she will be okay. She probably thought that it couldn't go on without her but you proved her wrong. Don't worry about it, focus on your wedding and move one. She will come to eventually.

Mostly agree with Amber E. It would probably be good at some point to make sure you've identified her issue correctly, but don't get into it now and invite drama this close to your wedding. She has no (good) reason to be upset when you asked someone else to be in your wedding when she said no, even after your offer for help.

Part of it is probably that she A) feels awful for backing out and B) may feel slighted she was "replaceable", which she should have expected and instead of being open about it, is being offended about everything. When the two of you get time, it may not hurt to have lunch or hang out and work it all out. Let her know your side, let her tell her side, and hopefully everything can be smoothed over.

I can't believe no one is disagreeing with this. You should NEVER replace a bridesmaid, even after you offering to contribute. Your party does not have to be even by any means. I can understand why your friend is upset with you, that is a terrible move.

Tiff P., what if the HS friend didn't back out and she just wanted to add another BM? Would the HS friend have reason to be upset then? The HS friend can't tell the bride who or how many BM's to have, she can only decide for herself whether to participate.