bridesmaid and maid of honor are too busy

I did everything my own. Your wedding party is not required to do anything other than get their attire and show up.

Your wedding party isn't supposed to help. I would venture to say almost everyone on this site planned their wedding with no help from friends. Some had their mothers help. Some couldn't even get their FH/DH to look at stuff.

That is one of the beauties of this site! If you need ideas,come here! We also get that budget is a huge concern- where your BMs may be complaining that you aren't offering a full top shelf open bar served by trained monkeys because it's more than your entire budget.

They also don't get timelines. With some designers, you have to order a dress 6-9 months in advance. Others are over a year... Then there is David's Bridal where you can have a dress in 6-8 weeks. They don't get that the better vendors book up a year or more in advance.

So, just involve them in the stuff they are involved with- picking out their dress (and inform them that ordering takes time, then alterations, etc). Other than that- keep them out details and come here for ideas and advice.

Unfortunately, you can't "make" any ones else interested in your wedding. This subject comes up a lot in this forum and I can only give you a few suggestions. First, is to sit down with each of the bridesmaids individually and tell them how you feel. You should let them know exactly what you expect from them (what they need to pay for, what specific tasks you will need their help with and how much time you will need from them on a weekly/monthly basis.) Tell them this is a big job, and if they don't fell up to the task, this is thier chance to bow out now with no hurt feelings. If they want to stay in the wedding, they need to agree to your needs. Second, you should also make sure that the wedding doesn't override your friendships, make sure you still call them or make plans with them, like a girls night out, with absolutely no wedding talk. You need to still treat them as friends and not just bridesmaids.

Before I ever got engaged and like right after I got engaged I thought I would have a lot of help from my girls too but honestly bc of my excitement I've enjoyed doing it on my own and with my FH. I talk to and get opinions from my mom and sis (moh) a lot, but the planning and picking stuff is all me and FH. Get your FH involved It makes it even more fun!

Don't go dress shopping alone Surely you can find someone to go with you. Idk you but I'd totally go with you if I could lol. I love watching say yes to the dress and tell the tv my opinions all the time haha! If you need someone to talk to about wedding stuff or need an opinion, msg me anytime!

Most of the ladies who came with me dress shopping were not in my bridal party (I admit, I only have 2 in my BP and one lives across the country) but I sent out an email to all my girlfriends with several dates I could go, and the weekend that a few people said they could join me was the date we sent. It was just 3 girls, but it was a great time.

I've had a few other events where I asked everyone and everyone to come help, but I made it fun for everyone (we crafted the STD's and had a wine tasting to choose the wines for the wedding) but other than that, I've done a lot on my own. I have notices in the last month I've been getting more support from my MOH on the phone and my BM had made more of an effort to be available. I don;t think they had my wedding on their minds much or realized how far in advance I had to get things done until the wedding was suddenly right around the corner.

I have planned every part of my wedding on my own, when I picked something out or bought something I would send all my girls an email with pictures, or if I have an issue deciding on something I would just send them an email, when ever I am with them hanging out I will give an update (if there is one) then I will hang out with them like I would normally

I think you've put yourself in a catch-22. You feel alone so you are planning way ahead on items that can wait and the planning way ahead is causing disinterest since the wedding is 9 months away., Why not work on the things that need to be done now i.e get the venue, look at photographers, invitations etc and leave the dress shopping for a while.

As far as the things that you should do now--it is not a requirement that the bridesmaids help. Most don't! These are the things you and your FH should be doing

Sharron :: She's not planning too ahead...I think she's right in track and any monthly wedding planning checklist would show that. She's just not got the support system and group she needs. I have help and support and interest in my planning and mine is a month further than hers, so it's not her fault the ones she's counting on aren't helping.

You have to get a dress ATLEAST 6 months in advance because of alterations and such if you are needing them. When we were planning our renewal, I was looking at dresses 18 months in advance. Don't worry, hun. You can do it yourself if you need to. Be strong. You know what you like!

I didn't involve my bridesmaids in any of the decisions other than choosing their dress from the 3 that I liked. As for the DIY stuff, I'm way too picky about how things are done so I ended of doing all the planning myself and most of the actual design but my girls were willing to help assemble things as time got closer and the stuff needed to be done. My FH and I chose everything together, he mostly let me do the choosing but on some things he had strong prefrences. As for wedding dress shopping- its okay to go by yourself the first time and check out what is out there, figure out what you like. If you really want someone's advice it does not have to be anyone in your wedding, just a friend or family member whose opinion you trust. When you find THE dress, you will know and even if you chose it by yourself you will still be able to share with them. Who cares if not everyone you show it to LOVES it as much as you do, your the one wearing it, your the one who matters

Okay, not to be sarcastic but the show Bridezillas should not be a model for anyone's relationship with their bridal parties. And I imagine the most disinterested jerkhole BM would gussy up and act excited in front of a camera crew at Kleinfelds. That stuff is not reality. Forget it!

I had wonderfully supportive BMs but I also did not expect them to have any interest in random details. I definitely didn't expect them to be more involved or interested than H. Yeah, they would ask me about wedding plans, but we only talked about wedding stuff as much as we talked about their babies and job promotions and charity marathons. And some of them were more into wedding stuff than others. You just can't take it personally. For some people it's just not their "thing", it doesn't mean they don't love you.

Now, if someone refuses to order their dress, goes MIA, or tries to sleep with your groom? Then yeah, they suck, and send them here and we'll set them straight.

^^What krisalicious said!^^

This is your big day. You are excited. It's always sad to a bride when others aren't as excited about it. As long as they do what is required (get their dress, be there on the day) then they think they are doing okay. My mom is starting to be helpful, and my MOH is awesome. I'm lucky from what I'm seeing here to have that much help, but I've met one of my bridesmaids all of once (my FH cousin) and my other just got married herself and is on bridal burnout. When you go dress shopping, if none of your BP is available take someone not in your BP. If this is really upsetting you, talk to them and tell them your feelings. It could be that they really don't realize this is hurting you.