Bridesmaid Advice!

Ugh that is frustrating, can you set up a fun shopping or online shopping day where you can do it together? Good luck!

Are you allowing them choose what they want to wear? Or are you designating a specific dress?

One of my friends actually had a bridesmaid who couldn't afford the dress. My friend and her parents also were not in good position to pay for it but they eventually did. Hope it works out.

I wish I had advice. My wedding is a few days away from being 90 days out and two won’t order because they “want to lose weight” and the third can’t order the dress because they need to order all together for the same dye batch. It’s so frustrating!

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They have free range as long as it's in the green color spectrum. I want them to choose something that they can utilize more than once, and even provide various color/material samples for them to utilize too!

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None of them want to plan an event to meet up, as they're "busy" and have "unpredictable schedules" because they work in the food industry (which I think is valid btw). Ended up linking them to websites to buy their dresses from, and it felt pretty pointless because none of them responded.

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Oh man that's frustrating. I would speak to them individually and just say you know how busy life is for everyone but it is stressing you out the dresses aren't ordered and you really need everyone to have their dress by x date. Maybe you can invite them all over for drinks or brunch and a fashion show to see them all together (if schedules allow). If you would like to see the dresses before they order them make sure to specify that you can also say days you are available if they d like any assistance. Tell them how excited you are for them to share this time with you and you look forward to seeing the dress. Hopefully they can all be responsible adults and order the dresses if they don't well don't worry about that until you have to. Best of luck!

View Quoted Comment That’s great that you’re allowing them that freedom! That being said, I wouldn’t micromanage them. Your wedding isn’t until November, and they are likely waiting for Autumn dresses to be released in stores (which can be anywhere from August-October). They are aware of your wedding date and that they will need to have a green dress by then. I’d treat them like adults and have faith that they will have a dress by then.

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Thank you for your advice! I'm definitely just going to chill on this for a bit, and not start pestering against until after our engagement party, which is at the end of August!

View Quoted Comment Definitely not worth wasting your time and energy over- you should be enjoying what is left of your engagement! After your engagement party I would just remind them that they have to have their dresses by the wedding, and if not, they will have to attend as a guest. I am sure they will come through for you 😊

Oh boy do I understand. My wedding is in 70 days and my sister who is my MOH doesn’t have a dress yet 🙃

I would say If they want to be part of your bridal party then they’d have to figure out what to wear asap

Is it within your budget to get your MOH’s dress? I just did infinity dresses for my MOH and Bridesmaids and paid for all of them. I think they’re like $50 a piece.

I totally get where you're coming from, I would maybe set a date by like september or so and say you need to see the final dress choices to just make sure everything is cohesive enough for your liking, when people agree to be in a wedding they agree to little things like this!

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Unfortunately we don't have it in the budget to afford a MOH dress. If I were to purchase for her, and not the others I'm sure I'd never hear the end of it.

View Quoted Comment I see! It may just be a difference in culture, but at least in the Filipino culture, it’s customary to provide the bridal party outfits so I bought all the dresses and paying for all the groomsmen rentals. I hope you figure all work it out! I’m sure it’ll turn out just fine Maybe you could go on a shopping spree with her

They have so much time. This is not something you need to micromanage or worry about at all. No amount of nagging or reminders will make them go faster - they'll get their dresses or they wont. If they don't, they dont walk down the aisle. Do not stress about this.

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Hard not to stress! Especially with the "they'll get their dresses or they won't" statement. That's why I'm worried.

With free range, I would just give them time and space. They have tons of time, and when the dress doesn’t have to come from a very specific place, it can be easy to acquire. I know it’s easier said than done, but just try to let this one go. Not worth stressing over.

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I know it's hard, but there's literally nothing you can do. There's no real reason at all that they need dresses super early, especially if they have full control over what they're getting (ie unlikely it will need alterations).

Just for reference, i've been a bunch of times and i've never had a dress more than a few weeks ahead of time and that was plenty of time to get a hem or tuck or whatever at a tailor if needed. I would have been super annoyed (and not done anything differently) if the bride kept bugging me about getting a dress!

They know what they need to do, just leave them alone!