Brides Maids

It is extremely common for the bridesmaids to purchase their own attire. That’s one thing everyone should expect when accepting the role. Other than that, I would think everything else is optional, like hair and makeup and planning/participating in any showers or bachelorettes. As for the bouquets, I’ve never heard of bridesmaids paying for that.

In the US it’s customary for the bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses. You should discuss individual budgets with them beforehand though. But it’s inappropriate to ask them to chip in for their bouquets.

No, not at all just as long as you consult their budgets prior to picking a dress. It's pretty normal for bridesmaids to buy their own dresses. I'd just try to pick something under $150 (pretty standard) and also talk to them first about the price and when you would like them to order by. We let the girls pick their own jewelry & shoes so that wasn't another added cost.

For the gowns it’s best to ask them, individually, what their budgets are for the gowns then go with the lowest budget so no one needs to spend outside of their means.

It is inappropriate to ask them to pay for part of their bouquets. Bouquets for bridesmaids aren’t a necessity and if you can’t afford them you can go without or we can help you find a more affordable option.

Also, it’s not fair to hold them not hosting a bachelorette over their heads to try to make them feel obligated to pay for flowers. Bachelorettes are a nice extra to have but far from necessary.

It’s customary for them to pay for their own attire, but they shouldn’t be paying for your florals. If you want them to carry bouquets, you pay for them.

Bridesmaids usually pay for their own dresses.
I've never heard of asking them to pay for part of their bouquets. There are better options like having a single rose or something else for them to carry. Even DIYing them from cheap grocery store flowers is pretty budget friendly.

Sorry, the only thing they're required to purchase are their dresses. If you want them to carry bouquets, wear specific jewelry or shoes, insist on professionally done hair and/or makeup, that's on you and should be included in your budget. Any pre-wedding parties, such as showers or bachlorette, are not required and would be hosted by anyone who volunteers.

Please don't use the "we're paying for our wedding ourselves" as an excuse. It's your wedding, you should be paying for it.

I have consulted with all of them individually and have found a dress that they all like which is $30 per dress. I personally am doing their hair for the wedding because I am a hairdresser and don't want them to have to front any cost for hair and make up. I am not hanging a bachelorette party or lack of over their head. Also for chipping in it would be $20 for a bouquet.

My main question is about the dress disagreement.

Also it is not an excuse that we are paying for the wedding ourselves. I was giving Insight on the discussion which I have had with them. I was not trying to make excuses For anything I am fully aware that it is my own wedding in that I am responsible for planning my wedding. I have seen a lot of discussion posts saying that they are paying for their own wedding and I thought that it was people Giving insightful knowledge on the situation.

View Quoted Comment I had to pay for mine to be in my friends wedding but we were asked far in advance. That is why I posted it to here asking!

View Quoted Comment It is not an excuse that we are paying for the wedding ourselves. I was giving Insight on the discussion which I have had with them. I was not trying to make excuses For anything I am fully aware that it is my own wedding in that I am responsible for planning my wedding. I have seen a lot of discussion posts saying that they are paying for their own wedding and I thought that it was people Giving insightful knowledge on the situation.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for being kind and giving advice! I appreciate it!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for the advice! The dresses we agreed on are $30 each and they are allowed to accessorize how they wish to. I also am doing their hair and makeup so no one has to worry about paying to get it done or stressing about attempting to do it themselves!

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Hugs.....thats all I wanted to share. Planning a wedding is a headache, so I feel your pain.

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I'm just pointing out that I'm not sure if you want to be doing your BMs hair and makeup the day of your wedding. You'll already be really busy and stressed out the day of, but that's just my advice.

It's standard here for BMs to pay for their own dresses. I haven't really heard about asking them to chip in for their bouquets, though. If you're worried about cost, how about a single flower for each of them?

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I thought about it a lot before making the decision. Doing hair is calming to me and the girls seemed to be stressed about figuring it out so I figured it would be a win win! I only have 4 brides maids so hopefully it wont be too bad!

Thank you so much for your insight!

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I do like this idea, maybe I could get them each a giant sunflower to hold. Thank you!

It’s totally normal for bridesmaids to buy their own dresses, that’s really the only thing they’re expected to buy. I’ve never heard of asking them to buy their own bouquets tho, and I definitely wouldn’t recommend that. It’s very tacky and doesn’t come off very well, at least not to me.