Brides! How do you feel about plus 1’s?

You’re not wrong. Did you clearly state on the rsvp the amount of seats you’re saving for them? If it indicates that they’re not allowed a plus one, I’d just say sorry, that’s what we had room for with our budget/venue.

If someone isn't in a long term relationships more than six months we are not having a plus one. We want an intimate feel where we know everyone.

I personally believe it’s up to the two of you but shouldn’t be based on rate of return. For me, if you have an intimate wedding and there’s all these people that are plus one, it’s not as intimate. But hey, if you have a couple 100 people, what’s one or two more?

View Quoted Comment Totally understand. Our situation might be a little different. We had a semi-destination wedding where most guests either had to fly or drive a couple of hours as well as book a hotel for 2-3 nights. I think it would be a very expensive trip for them just to go to a “free party” which is why we didn’t have that worry. Plus, we know our friends well enough that we knew none or them would bring any “random” people. No one did.


Our wedding was a 3-day event so anyone we May have not known the first night, we definitely knew by the wedding.
In regards to gifts, since most of our guests were spending money to travel (flight, gas, hotels) and taking time off work, we didn’t expect them to also bring a gift. I think culturally, gifts are perceived and expected differently so I can respect your views on hostess gifts.
Being originally from opposite coasts, my husband and I were just excited to have all our families and friends in one place getting to know each other. We weren’t too concerned about gifts considering we know how expensive it is to attend a wedding.
However, we both come from circles where cash is king so we still received a substantial amount of cash gifts which was a nice surprise when all was said and done.

Usually, the invited party presents a gift on behalf of both people. I would not expect two gifts from a couple and the same goes for a guest and a plus one. That said, I would let them know that you cannot accommodate plus ones. Just be honest but tactful about it.
We’re hoping to avoid it altogether, but I am nervous that people will still expect to be able to bring random dates. If they’re not in a serious relationship by the time our invites are going out, they are not getting a plus one. The only exception we’re making is for a person who won’t know anyone else. Everyone else already knows people and will have others to hang out with, so they’ll be fine. We made it clear on our website, and the site won’t let anyone add a guest we did not invite. We’re also spreading it by word of mouth.

Only the two people involved know whether or not they are a couple. You can't judge from the outside by living arrangements, length of time, ring or no ring, or any other external and arbitrary standard.

If you don't know if they consider themselves a couple, ask one of them. And honor their relationship (if they have one) when asking them to honor yours at your wedding.

We had a small wedding (40, total), but only 2 friends that were not in serious relationships. They were both dating people we didn’t know. I let them both know that we were keeping it very intimate, inviting only people we both know and have actually spent time with during our 6 years together. Regardless, their invites included a guest. I’ve been the single person at a wedding, not allowed to bring a plus one, and not knowing anyone other than the bride and groom. It felt awful in my case because everyone else at the wedding had a date, and I didn’t so I ended up leaving early (I stayed until dancing started). Ultimately, both my friends came alone. We had a day wedding and it was a small restaurant venue, so they both agreed that it wasn’t a big deal to come alone. It worked out in the end. Communication is key. If you have a small number of single friends, I would either explain the situation beforehand or allow them to bring a date. Weddings are meant to be romantic and fun, and when you’re already spending so much, a few extra plates won’t matter.

Our families are each very BIG and therefore our wedding will be HUGE! Because of this, I am being extremely strict about who gets to bring a plus 1. There's just no way i'm shelling out $100/person for people I've never met and who don't care about my marriage because they don't know me. I think the best thing to do is to just explain to those friends that you hadn't;t planned for them to bring a guest and that you apologize that they misunderstood the invitation. Just say the stationer or calligrapher didn't make it clear on the invitation or something and that unfortunately they cannot bring a guest. I hate that you have to deal with this, really stinks.

View Quoted Comment Charlotte,
Thanks for understanding my situation! I thought I was crazy haha. It just makes sense, especially if you have a big family and want an intimate wedding but also want your guests to feel comfortable... but it comes down to the fact that it’s our day!

I don't think it's wrong for you to not want to spend $70 for a random person you don't know, but for me, I am allowing all of my single guests a plus one. Just as you think it's odd to show up to a wedding without a gift or gesture, I wouldn't feel right about not giving them that option. However, I also think it is very dependent on the situation. Maybe if I were having a larger wedding I wouldn't feel that way. Good luck :-)