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Super August 2014

Bride's Deceased Father Gift

Mrs. G, on October 1, 2014 at 11:51 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 12

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Hi ladies - I am a bridesmaid in an upcoming wedding for one of my good friends. When she was in high school, her dad passed away from cancer. Now that she's getting married, I think the fact that he's gone is more real to her...her mom will be the one walking her down the aisle. I wanted to give her a memento (which I would give her BEFORE the actual wedding day) honoring her dad.

I thought about giving her a charm bracelet with a locket charm with her dad's photo (I could get that from her mom). Then the locket could come off and she could attach it to her shoe or bouquet so that he could "walk her down the aisle."

The only thing I am nervous about is giving her something she feels forced to use on the day. I can't imagine she wouldn't like it, but I know brides are forced to do or use items people have gifted them, that they might not otherwise use.

Do you think this would be a good idea? What other ideas can you guys think of?

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12 Comments

Latest activity by Emmy, on October 1, 2014 at 1:11 PM

Cricket Catering · on October 1, 2014 at 11:54 AM
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Run it by her Mom first.
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Master October 2015
Mrs. Hunnibear · on October 1, 2014 at 11:55 AM
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My father passed some years ago and if one of my BM's did this for me I would be so touched! I think it's a great idea. If you are worried she feels she has to use it just explain to her that she doesn't have to use it but you just wanted to honor her dad. The locket is a great idea. I use to have a necklace that had a picture of my dad and I engraved on it but it was stolen.
You have such a great heart!
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Master March 2015
Susan · on October 1, 2014 at 11:57 AM
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As a bride without my Mother and my father is fighting cancer, I would love it! Just please do this a while before the wedding. If she is like me, the tears will be flowing like a river. I would for sure use it on my day.
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VIP April 2015
FinallyMrsSloan · on October 1, 2014 at 12:10 PM
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That is such a sweet idea! Run it by her mom and then give her the option to use it the day of. She may be too emotional for that but it would still be a great gift.
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Master September 2014
Barbara · on October 1, 2014 at 12:11 PM
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Keep in mind her mom may have something similar planned. . .
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Master May 2014
Lacey · on October 1, 2014 at 12:11 PM
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I agree - talk to her mom!
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Master November 2014
RH · on October 1, 2014 at 12:12 PM
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That's a really sweet idea, but as others suggested definitely give it to her a good bit in advance because she's already on an emotional roller coaster just thinking about her dad not being there.

I'm getting emotional reading this!
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Master September 2014
L + R · on October 1, 2014 at 12:12 PM
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I think that you should just give her the charm with it still being detachable and let her decide. Don't mention the idea--maybe mention it to her mom while getting the picture and let her mom do that if she wants.

@RebeccaHope, I got teary too.
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Super July 2015
Teagan · on October 1, 2014 at 12:13 PM
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I love this idea! But I have to agree with the other ladies, run it by mom first and do it well before the wedding. Also let your friend know that there are no hard feelings if she decides not to wear it on her wedding day.
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VIP June 2015
Rebecca · on October 1, 2014 at 12:15 PM
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I think it's a lovely idea, and agree - run it by her mom, partly to make sure her mom isn't already doing it ... the one thing you don't want to do is to duplicate something her mom is doing!

Especially if it's small, she can pin it to her bouquet, or even pin it inside the bodice of her dress - but honestly, if you just give it to her and put a a safety pin inside the box with it, she'll decide on her own what to do with it, I'm sure.

Very sweet of you.
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VIP September 2014
Munkos · on October 1, 2014 at 12:24 PM
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Get a feel for what her plans are. My parents have both passed and I would've been way too emotional for anything like that. The time leading up to my wedding was in a lot of ways like grieving all over again. But that's just me! Definitely talk to her mom and see what she thinks - she's probably been the one your friend has leaned on to talk about this stuff.
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Master January 2015
Emmy · on October 1, 2014 at 1:11 PM
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Very sweet, I agree with the ladies to check with her mom. The bride might be doing that for herself too, my dad passed away 2 years ago . My mom knows I am getting 1 for myself but doesn't know I'm getting charms for my family. My SIL (brothers wife and MOH) and I can put them in our bouquets. I don't know where my brothers will put theirs, and I am surprising my mom with it.
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