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Ella Marie
Devoted May 2019

Bride/groom Gift Etiquette

Ella Marie, on March 7, 2018 at 5:31 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 29
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So my fiancé and I were talking, we don’t think we’re going to gift each other something the day of our wedding. Is that ok!? I mean we’re paying for a destination wedding! We were thinking of instead hand written notes? Has anyone not done gifts?

29 Comments

Latest activity by PrincessLawrence, on March 21, 2018 at 2:46 PM
  • Deirdre
    Super March 2018
    Deirdre ·
    • Flag

    We aren't going to do gifts. Our parents are helping to pay for some of the wedding, but we are paying a significant amount ourselves, plus we want to do a really nice honeymoon. My FH also puts a lot of pressure on himself when he buys me gifts, and I don't want him to feel that pressure before our wedding. I just want him to relax and enjoy the day.

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  • Dolores Umbridge
    VIP June 2017
    Dolores Umbridge ·
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    We didn't do gifts spent extra on spa day at honeymoon instead

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  • Forestwed
    Master May 2018
    Forestwed ·
    • Flag
    We’re giving each other cards, no gifts. The wedding cost enough.
    • Reply
  • Daria
    VIP January 2019
    Daria ·
    • Flag

    It's totally fine.

    • Reply
  • FutureMrsW
    VIP March 2018
    FutureMrsW ·
    • Flag

    We originally weren't going to do gifts, but then I changed my mind and decided to gift him photos from my boudoir shoot. I consider this a gift to both him and myself; I told him I got him something but that he still doesn't have to get me something if he'd rather save the money. I told him all I wanted was a nice handwritten note from him that day and I'd be set.

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  • rica
    VIP September 2018
    rica ·
    • Flag

    FH and I will have been together for 9 years by the time of the wedding. The past few holidays I've really been struggling to find him a gift I haven't already given him. The whole wedding and the honeymoon are gifts to ourselves anyways. And I'm willing to bet that FH has never even heard of the tradition of gifting each other the day of the wedding. I'd like to write a little note to each other, but that's about it.

    We are planning to "gift" each other tattoos after the wedding, however. FH wants a wedding band tattooed since he can't wear one to work, and I just want a small symbol to match his. We don't have any set plans yet though, and it might not happen right away.

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  • Ella Marie
    Devoted May 2019
    Ella Marie ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    I was thinking about doing a boudoir shoot!! Idk if I have the balls though! lol!!!
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  • Susan
    VIP December 2017
    Susan ·
    • Flag
    We went back and forth and ended up with sorta practical gifts. He got me new perfume and I got him new shave oil and lotion. They were both new scents so wearing them reminds us of our wedding, but also not very expensive. However, I think skipping it is perfectly fine and hand written note would be lovely!
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  • Casey
    VIP December 2018
    Casey ·
    • Flag
    Etiquette doesn’t matter when it’s just you and your FH. If you don’t want gifts, don’t do it! I’m really not a gifts just for gifts sake type of person. We’ll probably do letters though.
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  • Allison
    Expert October 2018
    Allison ·
    • Flag
    I didn't even know gifts to each other were a thing until I read articles on here and the knot. I know some brides did those photo shoots, or some grooms sent wine or flowers the bride, but otherwise it seems a bit odd to me.

    We're not swapping gifts. If one of us does something nice for the other it's great, but it's not planned either.
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  • FutureMrsW
    VIP March 2018
    FutureMrsW ·
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    Girl, go for it! It was so much fun and my photos turned out more beautiful than I could've imagined. My advice: take the time to look for a really great photographer who knows boudoir posing well and who wants to make his/her clients feel as comfortable as possible. Mine was a chatterbox who talked and asked me questions the whole time. I was so busy talking with her that before I knew it I was done. Some of the poses are awkward and/or uncomfortable, but you just start to roll with it after awhile. There were a few poses I just flat out didn't like for one reason or another and told her to pass on them, which she was totally fine with.

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  • E
    Devoted October 2018
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    We talked about this and we decided he would get me "something to wear on our wedding night" and I would get him something to go along with that. 😉
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  • BGR
    Expert May 2018
    BGR ·
    • Flag
    We won't do gifts! We're going to do traditional vows in front of guests, and then write out and exchange personal vows pdivayeku. FH was more comfortable with this, as he knows he will be nervous and emotional, but he doesn't want a first look either. I feel like this is gifting each other a really special intimate moment .
    • Reply
  • Janel
    Super September 2018
    Janel ·
    • Flag
    We’re paying for the wedding ourselves so I doubt we’ll gift something else to each other.
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  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
    • Flag
    No gifts here we are paying for most of this ourselves. We aren’t even getting parents gifts, the gifts we get them for the holidays and their days seem to always fall flat after we agonize over them so we are passing on that too.
    • Reply
  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
    • Flag

    We didn't do gifts or cards. We agreed the wedding weekend was our gift to each other.

    • Reply
  • Melissa
    Expert October 2018
    Melissa ·
    • Flag
    We're not doing gifts, but I am getting him a surprise grooms cake. It'll be the suit but with flash.



    Bride/groom Gift Etiquette 1
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  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
    • Flag

    We skipped wedding day gifts as well! We splurged on our honeymoon so we decided to save our money for that!!

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  • Kristina
    Master August 2018
    Kristina ·
    • Flag

    It's ALWAYS up to the couple to decide things like this!!!! If you two decided together to not do gifts, then there should be no pressure to do so! Maybe write letters to each other instead? That's what I'm planning because both me and my FH are also stretching our money thin. I don't think he'll mind a genuine hand-written letter also.

    • Reply
  • Kristina
    Master August 2018
    Kristina ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    I'm doing this as well (hopefully) but in a Harry Potter theme!

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