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Beginner October 2021

Bride with two dads- who walks me down the aisle?!

Chauncee, on December 4, 2019 at 3:22 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 8

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My mother married when I was 3yrs old to my step dad, who I look to as my dad. Im 28 now and My biological father has not been as present in my life, I stayed maybe one week ever with him, he’s sends birthday cards, child support, and some extra money to me while I was in college. My fh asked my dad( step dad) for my hand in marriage and even made sure he was present for the surprise engagement in Aug 2019. My mother told my biological father of the proposal and his response was “ Congrats let me know of the date” and thats pretty much it. We don’t have a close relationship but I do have strong ties to my grandmother on my biological father’s side. Should I have both dad’s walk me down the aisle? My mom has recommended One hand me off to the other but I feel it would require logistics around the venue, seating and of course not making it an awkward part of the ceremony and honestly my father hasnt been that impactful aside from some monetary support here and there. Anyone in a similar situation or have experienced this before? I dont want to put anyone in an awkward plus but I want to relationship about the relationships I have with them both and who his been there for me and my fh.

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Randisa, on December 28, 2019 at 9:26 PM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on December 4, 2019 at 3:29 PM
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I think you should have whoever you want walk you down the aisle and not think about how that’s going to make other people feel. If that’s both of them, that’s great, but the choice is clear to me.
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on December 4, 2019 at 5:07 PM
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I agree with PP. it’s your day so do what makes your heart happy.
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on December 5, 2019 at 1:34 AM
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It seems you want your step-dad to walk you down. It doesn’t sound like your bio dad would mind but you can suggest doing the father-daughter dance with him and see if he’s interested?
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WeddingWire Administrator January 2030
Clíodhna · on December 5, 2019 at 6:57 AM
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Hey Chauncee!
I'm gathering from your message you would like your step-dad to walk you down the aisle. Perhaps you could speak to your biological father about your choice and clear the air and ensure there will be no hard feeling. This could remove any awkwardness you may feel.
As the PP mentioned, if you were comfortable with it, you could do two father-daughter dances at the reception and have one for your biological father if you wanted to include him somehow. How would you feel about this?
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Devoted March 2019
Katie · on December 5, 2019 at 12:49 PM
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Based on what you said in your post, I think your heart is telling you "step-dad" and your brain is saying "be fair/equal/even or what will everyone think" and that is TOTALLY OKAY! This day is for you and your FH and you should love every moment, and if that means having your step dad walk you down the aisle, then go for it!
I would make sure to talk to both your step dad and bio dad separately in advance and let them know what you would like to do for the day, that way there are no surprises and no awkwardness day-of. If you choose to talk to other family members about this (i.e. mom and bio dad grandma) just to keep them in the loop then that is great, but make sure you are framing it in a way of "This would make me incredibly happy and how I envision my wedding day" and less of a question otherwise you may be opening up to unwanted advice.

Best of Luck!
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VIP November 2019
Catherine · on December 5, 2019 at 1:19 PM
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It just depends on how you feel and what you really want! if you only want one then just do one. don't worry about hurting someones feelings, this is YOUR day.
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VIP December 2019
Michelle · on December 5, 2019 at 7:54 PM
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You sound like you already know what to do but need some reassurance????? But it wouldn't be that hard for them both to walk you down the aisle. Bio dad starts walking you and have Stepdad maybe stand at aisle 5, first chair for example. You and bio dad stop right there, you are now in the middle of them two. All of Y'all walk to the minister. When they ask who gives you away, they both say we do.
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When you and bio dad get to step day he shakes his hand, hands you off to him and you and step dad continue on to the minister
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just have stepdad do it, that's what it seems like you want to do. Either way good luck!
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Just Said Yes October 2021
Randisa · on December 28, 2019 at 9:26 PM
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I was adopted by my bother and sisters dad and I met my real dad when I was 13 so I am having the same issue. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I was thinking about having them both walk me down the isle.
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