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June 2021

Bride and groom meals etiquette

Dj Tanner, on June 22, 2020 at 1:12 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 26
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Our venue does complementary bride and groom meals. Is it rude for the bride and groom to order something different than what they are feeding their guests? I initially wanted to have steak topped with lobster as our steak for our guests but we have a handful of people that are allergic to shellfish but prefer steak, so we put lobster for one of our past hors d’oeuvres and just knocked it down to steak. There will also be chicken dishes and vegan dish but most people will probably want the steak. I love lobster and my fiancé hates lobster. Would it be rude of me to order the steak with lobster on it?If I was attending a wedding I would totally not mind the bride and groom eating something different, but when I think about it for myself I feel like there’s definitely an etiquette boundary that I’m crossing.

26 Comments

Latest activity by Dj Tanner, on June 23, 2020 at 9:07 AM
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I don't personally think it's rude aha.

    i remember going to a wedding last year where the bride and groom were very obviously eating something different than us and i didn't think anything of it.

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  • Kerin
    Super February 2021
    Kerin ·
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    Nah, I doubt anyone would care. It's your day, go for it Smiley smile

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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    Yeah, I’ve seen this done at pretty much every wedding I’ve gone to, but I didn’t really think anything of it myself. I feel like there’s going to be those few people though that may feel differently. My fiancé doesn’t really like that idea because he thinks it looks tacky lol
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  • Roane
    Dedicated December 2021
    Roane ·
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    I think this is something lots of people do. My sister in law is super picky, she had chicken tenders and french fries at her wedding while everyone else had the standard chicken/fish/vegetarian options.
    Yours won't even seem too out of place, being two things that are being served to guests, if anyone cares to glance at your plate.
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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    Honestly, I can't tell you what the bride and groom feel at any wedding I've ever gone to. We just ordered based off what we serving other people. But yeah, as a guest I honestly wouldn't know what you are.
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  • Samantha
    Expert October 2021
    Samantha ·
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    I doubt anyone would even notice what you are eating.
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  • E
    Dedicated June 2021
    EmeraldBride ·
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    I wouldn’t care... but my first thought was man you’re gonna be stuffed! Might be a little too much food for me personally.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I’ve personally never noticed what the newlyweds were eating, but I do think it’s a little rude to eat something that you’re not serving your guests.
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  • C
    Master January 2019
    Cassidy ·
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    As long as it’s not drastically different from
    What you are serving your guest I think you’ll be fine.
    I went to a potluck style reception with finger foods (veggie trays and cheese and crackers) and the bride and groom had ordered Jersey Mikes. I wasn’t too happy about that.
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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    Thank you for your honesty. I’m definitely going to be getting the same thing as my guests. Even if its only one person that feels the same way as you that would not be good so I’m definitely going to avoid that.
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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    Ouf yeah, I’m surprised they weren’t embarrassed. I think I’ll be definitely getting the same thing as my guests. My fiancé said it looks very tacky if I don’t Which kind of makes sense now after hearing some of the comments and suggestions from others. Thanks for the help
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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    I think that if you and your FH will be sitting by yourselves at a sweetheart table, nobody will even notice and all will be fine. I don't think I would recommend doing this if you will be sitting at a head table with your wedding party or other guests.

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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    Yeah, the more I think about it it is sort of off color. We would be sitting at a sweetheart table. My maid of honor is allergic to shellfish along with many others who will be there so its probably best to just not have it around as much as possible anyhow


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  • Merline
    Super February 2020
    Merline ·
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    I think you should order the same thing that your guest are eating. I may have gotten like 5 or 6 bites in total and then everyone came up to talk to us. Someone did say that they were glad that some of the artichoke dip was put aside for us because it went fast. So, just letting you know that someone will probably notice and comment.

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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    Yeah you’re right. My fiancé said its tacky to not order the same thing. After thinking about it I kind of agree. Ive just seen if done so many times and it never bothered me. Guess I’ll just save that meal for my anniversary instead lol
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  • J
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
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    I tend to agree with this. While most probably wouldn't notice, some will. It's not a polite thing overall. Save the fancier meal for another occasion.
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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    Yeah you’re right. It would be totally off color.
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  • Florida Marlins
    Expert October 2017
    Florida Marlins ·
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    I may be in the minority here, but yes, to order something not just different but nicer will be off putting. I would not invite you to my house and serve you chicken drummies and eat steak or lobster. Food allergies are one thing but this is not that.

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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    Lol I agree. I certainly wouldn’t be downgrading to any chicken drummies for my guests but you’re right.
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  • Florida Marlins
    Expert October 2017
    Florida Marlins ·
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    Hey, I like chicken drummies!!!! But maybe at cocktail hour, not as a wedding meal!

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