Bridal Showers - Invite All or Invite Close Family Only - Take Off On Another Thread

I am def not inviting all females on my list. However, I have a larger family and he has a TON of friends so our list is at about 50. My Mom thought that was a littl high but when you factor in the wives of all the groomsmen and all that, its gets up there. Good luck! My Mom is with you on the baby shower

Most showers I have been to include the family members and closer friends. Every shower has been a little different. I anticipate my shower will be family and friends who are invited to the wedding, but not all the women invited to the wedding. I don't know some of his cousin's/friends wives/GF's well or at all. However, on his side, I will most likely ask his mom and my FSILs if anyone would be offended if I didn't invite them (many are from OOT). My hope is we are able to stick to family and closer friends.

My guest list was about 40 - and that included the women in my close family, the women in FH's close family, and my closest friends. I only added women from FH's friend pool if they were super involved in our lives or if I would call them up without FH being around - like our neighbor, FH's boss and coworker, etc.

The shower was OOT for ALL of my family and FH's family. My mom came, none of my aunts/cousins did, which I expected. But FH's aunt and cousins actually flew in from out of state, which was a huge surprise to me. They made it double duty as a family vacation though, so I'm not sure how much that actually had to do with the shower - although the shower is what put the plan in motion.

Out of 40 I want to say 25 attended? But most of the declines were OOTers.

Carole I don't think your philosophy is weird. I'm with you.

This is my second marriage and I had a shower (with friends and aunts) the first time around, my family is very strict with one shower per event only lol. FMIL and MOH is planning a shower for BOTH of us. So FMIL is inviting a lot of family but I've also been around for four years and know them pretty well, they are a really close family. And then some friends that I've met after my first marriage will be invited and I think MOH said the total was 35 so far. I can't remember, they ask me for my opinions and I made our invites and a couple things for the shower on VP and MOH paid me back but anything past that I don't have a clue. So I guess it really depends on the family, on how close they are and whatnot.

Future Mrs. K.....This shower has been a nightmare from the get go and I am the one who looks like an arse because her FMIL lives in Florida. I had to pick the venue, etc.

Erin....I am glad to read others think of close family and friends. I don't like sending invites to people OOT who I know can't come. To me, it is a gift grab. But, hey, like I said, there is no right or wrong, just differences among people.

My sister is inviting all the females that are invited to teh wedding to the shower. That being said they are all close to me. So that will only be my Aunts, grandmas, sister, FSIL's, god parents and about 13 girlfriends.

If I had a big wedding she wouldn't be inviting, peoples dates, and work people and stuff.

My BM was initially hosting my bridal shower solo until my mother got wind of it. Now they are working together. My BM originally asked me for a list of people in which my mother and FMIL doubled. From the grapevine I've heard my mother has ordered 75 invitations.

Personally I do not feel as though a bride should be a part of the planning of her shower therefore can not be held responsible for who's invited.

I invited 60 people and 17 showed up, so i would invite all depending on the number of guests you plan on having.

Kris...Thank goodness. I am beginning to feel like the wicked witch of the east coast.

Cyndi...My family also has the same one shower rule. It also applies to pregnancies. It sucked when I had kids 8 years apart, but I totally got why.

Goodkarmatwins...If you are close to all, than an invite is appropriate.

Mek Mek...I agree. The bride shouldn't be a part of the planning process.

Jamie...I am waiting out RSVPs at this point. I chose not to invite all on my list.

Am I being a zilla if I don't want to have nothing to do with the shower planning? I mean, I'll provide a list if I have to, but I have BMs, a kick azz coordinator, and minions for that.

Carole, my mother even asked if my office was hosting one because she wanted to invite them. In our family many family events get of out hand when it comes to head count because if you speak to her on the day of the event she will extend an invitation.

Here's another thing - how do you guys feel about multiple showers?

We've encountered this recently as FH has a lot of female friends from his college dance troupe days. We attended a shower last year hosted by a friend of the mama-to-be. The guest list was the dad-to-be's family and their couple friends. We learned in conversation that she had 4 baby showers - another one thrown by the same hostess for just close girlfriends, then one thrown by her mom for her family and the mom's friends, and then one at work, which had some overlap with the two friend showers.

Not to begrudge anybody anything! We were happy to celebrate with her. But - when does it get to be too much?

No Shileta....I think the only thing a bride should do is provide the list and show up with a smile.

@Mrs. Carole I understand the reasoning behind the shower thing too and I made sure I saved everything I could from our baby shower for our son...besides safety reasons there's no reason you can't but we also plan to start trying again after the honeymoon. We had a couple cousins who had quite gap between kids and they just had a very small shower with a couple aunts and a few cousins about 15 people total.

Shileta if you are then I am too. I've told both my mother and BM that I wanted a tea party and didn't care how or when it all went down. I wouldn't even proof the events for them.

Mek Mek....If it is not a gift giving occasion, I have an open door policy on events. I just get sensitive when it is a gift giving occasion.

Kris...The main reason why we did the one shower was to avoid multiple showers. Cate can onlly fly home once.

Cyndi.....I kept everything until my daughter was 5 and then got rid of things. I got pregnant again when she was 8. So, I started all over. My mother was adamant about the shower thing. I didn't care. We had the money, so it was no biggie.l

I'm on board with the "bride should have little to do with her shower" philosophy too. The only thing I had to do with the shower planning was picking the date (b/c I had to buy a plane ticket to attend lol) and handing over the guest list.

I did have a few friends who invited extra people to the shower who are not invited to the wedding - example, one brought her mom who I've met and who was visiting from out of town. I felt bad about that since I received gifts from them, but they know I had nothing to do with the invitation, came on their own accord, and I thanked them profusely in person and in writing.

My understanding is that showers are to be intimate....like close friends. I actually doubt my mum would be there, i would ask her to go and hang out with her husband, LOL! actually since my shower is the day before. Literally just me and my close girlfriends. thats my understanding tjo